Divorce - Final Hearing Drawing Nearer!

(5 Posts)
Braindeadmumof3 Thu 03-Oct-13 19:46:11

Hi, Been married for 14 yrs with him for total of 20 yrs. I have till next wk to agree on financial split H wants 60/40 or we got to final hearing at the end of Nov and the unknown as it will be down to a judge to make the decisions! He is 41 and lives with his 22 yr old girlfriend in a 3 bed rented house. He is self employed (Says he got no money!) I have 3 kids huge mortgage as we had borrowed lots to extend. Left with house unfinished. I think 60/40 is to much as I am mid 40's and though I work part time around the kids - lost my career years ago! By time kids will leave I will be late 50's and will never have a £30k job where I live! Youngest child is 8! His solicitor is trying to stop my legal aid so then I will not be able to afford to take it to final hearing and have to agree to his conditions or pay £££ for the final hearing! Have no idea what to do! Cave in and accept or stick to my guns! Fighting for me and the kids as he pays very little for his kids! Any advice would be gratefully received. I only want what is fair for the children and me. Thanks for reading

Collaborate Thu 03-Oct-13 20:05:44

You can't rely on any advice given on such sparse background information. Trust your solicitor and barrister if you have one. They are best placed to advise you. You're lucky to have legal aid.

Braindeadmumof3 Thu 03-Oct-13 20:14:57

Hi Yes I am very lucky thank you I am paying ££ a month and will still end up with a bill but am happy as it is more like a loan. The first hearing the judge said me to have whole house and he keeps pension - He said no! So back we went then judge proposed a starting point of 60/40 and that the courts may think 70/30 if I could get his name off mortgage would be seen as reasonable. I think I can do this but his solicitor is now saying the judge never thought that this was reasonable! So hence now I am being unreasonable and she is going to ask that my legal aid be stopped so i cannot go further with the final hearing and just agree to what he wants. i might like to say it is my husband taking me to court re the finances as he wants to start again with his girlfriend. I just need a roof over the children's heads till they leave full time education. I am also single and at the moment am very happy being single and spending fabulous time with my children who need me. Just wish it wasn't like this sad

RedHelenB Wed 09-Oct-13 18:24:29

If you are in a poorly paid job how will you pay the mortgage? And how would you be able to take him off the mortgage as it is unlikely mortgage lenders would agree to this? It's a difficult one if he is going self employed % wants to wriggle out of paying for his kids. How much monetary difference is there between 60% & 70% is this difference the same as what going to a final hearing would be?

Braindeadmumof3 Wed 09-Oct-13 20:37:48

Hi,
I get tax credits and this is what a lot of my income is based on as well as my job - seemingly they do take this into consideration. Legal aid for the final hearing is a lot less than 10% - so probable worth it.
We have tried again to negotiate 65/35 but heard nothing back. My solicitor has just found out that his solicitor is actually not one nor qualified in legal she is purely an 'executive'. My solicitor found this out today - explains why the correspondence has been so aggressive and bullying as my solicitor has said from the start that this is not normal! I've tried my best just gotta go with the flow now! sad Thanks for all your comments.

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