Recent separation. hurts so much

(4 Posts)
fizzymumofone Sun 01-Sep-13 23:30:49

This is long. sorry>

Me and husband have separated 6 weeks ago after several months of difficulty in our relationship. we have a 4 year old daughter. Seems he has become depressed (he says this). I april he gave me an ultimatum to either change my job (im a nurse who works shifts) or he would leave me. we patched things up in the short term but during that time i became increasingly anxious inside and feeling he did not love me as it all seemed to hinge upon my working hours. Ive never denied its hard with one parent working shifts/nighte etc, but felt it so unfair that he put all his unhappiness down to that when i have made so much effort to make both family time and couple time for us over the last couple of years. also i always encouraged him to make his own social contacts but that has not happened. since the breakup, he has moved in with his dad and still sees our daughter but has treated me like a business associate, being very emotionally cut off at times and then calling me names and being verbally threatening over mainenance etc at other times.

At first he said he would not support childcare around my shifts and I feared id have to give up my career. i struggled through my pregnancy to get my nursing qualification and he married me two years ago knowing i was a nurse. he always semed so supportive, now i feel i dont know him at all as his way of dealing with this has been so black and white and unemotional. Now he seems regretful and upset, saying he misses me. i am so confused. spent the last few weeks off work and leaning on supportive friends, trying to come to terms wit everything. i have found a job in another area that is family friendly hours and arranged to move me and my daughter there.

Im going through so many emotions right now and dont know wat to do or think. Im 32 and terrified i will never meet anone else in my life or understand how things got to this point. please tell me it gets better. I dont know if he is being controlling with his change or just messing with my head. need insights from others right now!

cherryblossoming Mon 02-Sep-13 12:59:27

Sorry to hear about it but I think you are better without him. May be he wanted to separate because of another woman in his life. Now she is not with him and he feels lonely. Often happens to men. May be he really misses you but why would he call you names etc? 32 is still young. Good luck with meeting a nice decent man but be careful as you have a daughter. She is your priority.

MiraGohil1 Fri 06-Sep-13 11:32:02

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

Bumpstarter Sun 08-Sep-13 22:47:12

Lookon relationships. You will get much more insight if you post o there. Good luck

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