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Speak to new fathers on our Dads forum.

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Speak to new fathers on our Dads forum.

Dadsnet

Men and soft drugs, men only replies please.

26 replies

hoolagirl · 06/12/2006 09:20

Guys I have a question, please help!

My dp uses soft drugs, im sure you know what kind im talking about.

I don't have a problem with this as he waits till kids are in bed or not around. He functions normally (whatever that is) holds down job etc.

Recently its really began to bug me though, last night he was getting texts and phone calls while we were having tea from friends/family to see if he could get any for them. He of course answers straight away and starts calling round to see what he can do. Then he spends another hour or so running around picking it up and delivering. Hes' not a dealer, he just never says no get it yourself !

Oh and then his DS comes in and and asks where his dad is...obviously I don't tell him he's out delivering drugs !

The night before that his mate came in to see if he could get any and sat for around 5 hours, only leaving when I said I was going to my bed.

This pisses me off no end, i've been working all day then have a toddler to run after, I could do without it. Nothing against the guy personally, but please f* off and sit in your own house for a while !

I've really had enough, I don't mind him smoking it, i've even rolled him one or two, Its all the other shit that comes with it.

Anyone got a solution? Am I being a whingy bitch in being pissed off with all the running around.

We are meant to be moving in together in 2 months time with our collective kids and to be honest this is really giving me 2nd thoughts.

OP posts:

Report

satine · 06/12/2006 09:27

I know you said you only wanted replies from blokes, but I'm afraid I just can't not point out the bleeding obvious - your partner is a dealer. And you are allowing dealing and using to go on in your house. If the police find out, they will not just caution him for personal use - they will arrest him, search your house, interview your/his friends and possibly take your son into care whilst this is all sorted out. Then your dp faces a custodial sentence. I know this is worst case scenario, but if you just happen to live in an area where the local police force are under pressure to crack down on drug abuse, even what you consider to be casual, soft drugs, you could well be caught up in the crackdown. Please get your partner to face up to the lifestyle he is slipping into. You might think I'm just naive, or scaremongering, but I used to be a policewoman.

expatinscotland · 06/12/2006 09:28

He spends hours on the phone brokering for drugs, and also delivers them?

Wake up and smell the coffee! He's dealing!!!

anorak · 06/12/2006 09:31

Satine said what I was thinking.

Why post on MUMsnet and ask for men only replies?

Move in together and this will be your life. Don't do it.

nailpolish · 06/12/2006 09:31

i would be worried about having drugs and children in the same house

anorak · 06/12/2006 09:34

I'm curious as to why you have asked for men only replies. Do you measure yourself only in terms of whether you seem like a 'whingy bitch'? Don't your own feelings as a woman have any value?

wheresmyfroggy · 06/12/2006 09:34

You may not think he is a dealer in the conventional sense but in the eyes of the law he is going out with intent to supply drugs, people know they can count on him to score for them. This is worrying as he obviously has a family to think of.

wheresmyfroggy · 06/12/2006 09:35

I am a man btw .

anorak · 06/12/2006 09:37

allegedly

Tortington · 06/12/2006 09:40

just becuase the drug is normailsed in society - everyone you know has done - is doing it - doesn't make it a good thing.

if things are pissing you off before you move in together

imagine what it will be like in 5 years time.

aDadOnTheXmasSherry · 06/12/2006 09:53

I think you answered your own post - you dont mind him smoking late at night, but it's the other stuff that goes with it. Maybe that's what you should tell him.

If he isn't dealing on a larger scale than you think, but just getting some for the odd mate and himself, I dont see why he needs to be running round so often. In fact it's a pretty silly way of doing things. Sounds quite teenage to me.

fwiw I am a man. (clue's in my name!).

DumbledoresGirl · 06/12/2006 09:57

Anorak!

DumbledoresGirl · 06/12/2006 09:57

(That was to anorak's second post btw)

wheresmyfroggy · 06/12/2006 10:02

I won't be proving it live on mn Anorak

DumbledoresGirl · 06/12/2006 10:35

Could you?

GlennCloseAsCruellaDeVille · 06/12/2006 10:39

well he is buying drugs and selling them on to other people whether he is profiting from it is neither here nor there really, more fool him for carrying the can for others..he is the one acting like a mug with a deathwish.

I don't see any future for you or the children if he carries on like this and certainly wouldn't be planning a life together until he changed his habits.

batters · 06/12/2006 10:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GlennCloseAsCruellaDeVille · 06/12/2006 10:51

I suspect he gets a buzz from this role but it will be a rocket up his bottom if he is caught with quantities of drugs..he is likely to pay the price for his haha cool is i image

hoolagirl · 06/12/2006 11:03

Just had a serious talk with him.
Under no circumstances is he to do this running around anymore for other people.
Its not my kind of lifestyle and yes he is more or less acting like a dealer even though he is not profitting from it.
It is putting our future in jepordy, in fact we won't have a future unless it stops.
If either of us had any kind of caution or conviction we would lose our jobs because of the type of work we do.
I think this has sunk in, he seemed visibly shaken!

OP posts:

anorak · 06/12/2006 13:51

I think you are right to lay down these ground rules before moving in together. Stick to your guns.

I know wheresmyfroggy is a man, honest, I was only teasing

poppiesinalinewithtinsel · 11/12/2006 14:07

Thought this thread title said

Men and soft rugs

UnquietDad · 11/12/2006 15:11

for poppies

poppiesinalinewithtinsel · 11/12/2006 15:40

rofl

fredip71 · 28/12/2006 17:13

I am a woman and I was married to a bloke like yours. People used to even knock at the door at 11.30pm until I told someone to p off. To cut a long story short, he is a drug dealer and things will not get better.
I am now happily divorced!Good luck and think about the consequences for your kids.

nothercules · 28/12/2006 17:22

You don't have to make a profit to be a dealer.....

Skribble · 28/12/2006 18:09

Not male and I know the OP was a while ago, but perhaps he should consider how the police would veiw it if he was caught with enough drugs on him to supply freinds.

Saying oh I am just dropping them off will not get him very far. Having enough drugs for personal use only is treated very differently than having larger quantities, "intent to supply" would be the first assumption.

Flip

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