What's it all about?

[Dadthelion]

Not expected many responses in Dadsnet. But heh ho.

I read lots of threads where Dads are not interested in their children's lives after separation.

My son has lived with me for seven years, why would dads not want to be in their children's live? It's character building and good fun.

Anyway just a ponder.

[2Retts]

Hey Dadthelion, i think for a lot of 'dads', they have difficulty seperating the issues of ex-partner/wife and children IME. The waters get muddied in the parting of ways...every situation is very different. Sometimes dads do not get the opportunity to be such an active part in their children's lives for various reasons.

Well done in stepping up for your son and being the best dad. Does he still have contact with his mum? I only ask because my guys didn't have their dad on hand in formative years and it is so important they get the balance of role models...they eventually had loads of great male role models (it takes a village to raise a child).

Hopefully loads of fab dads will come along soon to offer their personal support.

[DioneTheDiabolist]

I don't think they get it Dadthelion. I think that they get scared of the idea of responsibility and they freak out.

They don't get that it's really a blast being a parent. You get to do all the cool stuff your parents wouldn't let you do. Without people looking at you funny (they totally would if you didn't have a kid to legitimize your Lego playing, cartoon watching, water fighting etc.).

I used to wonder if I was doing parenting right. I mean, I have so much fun, surely this was not what my folks were on about? They made it seem such a chore.

But I havent met anyone in RL who has ever regretted it, although you'll always get martyrs. Having kids is an adventure. And for me, it allows me to experience all the great bits of childhood, without actually being a kid! Which I hated.

I pity the fool who passes on their kid.
(I typed that in a Mr. T voice).

[BoneyBackJefferson]

"I think that they get scared of the idea of responsibility and they freak out."

this is far too simplistic a view.
I know too many dads that have to step around the mother to get information from the school.

far too many dads that have to "stay on the mums good side" to be able to see their child/ren.

Many of the men (not all but many) who "pass on their kid" have been beaten down in to that situation.

(awaits calls of F4J and MRA)