Random varying cycle, negative OPKs - wish I'd never started with the damned things!

[BabyValentine]

Bit of background: DD conceived first month, 'normal' 30 day cycle, no random peeing on sticks (apart from the HPT).

Now TTC#2. This is our first month and I'e turned into a raving lunatic...

Over the last year my cycle has been 31, 33, 36, 34, 28, 32, 29, 30, 42!, 35, 33. Although I often feel ovulation pains, I decided to get the OPKs - both ClearBlue and wee sticks from eBay - due to my cycle being a bit random.

I clearly have no idea what is going on - according to the sticks I did not ovulate from CD13 to CD28. (I did a practice fum last month and ovulated on CD19 of a 34 day cycle (I think!) )

Today is CD29 and being more than a little obsessed with weeing in pots, I thought 'Ha! Last ClearBlue stick! I will use you up and get you out of the way and forget of your exsitence, you mean little fella!'. So I weeed. And I now have a smiley face.

What is going on? Am I ovulating at this late stage? Or were the sticks from eBay a bit dodgy? It certainly felt like I ovulated earlier in the month, and some EWM - but -ve OPKs. I'm sure DH won't mind a bit of shagging with intent when he gets home from work, but I'm a bit sick of all the sex, TBH. And well and truly confused. Wish I'd never bought the bloody things.

Can anyone shed any light on anything? I have a sneaking suspicion I should be ditching the sticks and relaxing with some regular sex!

[GeekIsGood]

No idea either but hope someone does as my cycles have been very similar to yours since my mc last March and still TTC no.1! I've just had a 40 day cycle, the longest one yet. But I've been going up and down - my last one was 28 days.

I think really long cycles (35 days+) may mean you're not ovulating during those cycles.

[BabyValentine]

Hi Geek, sorry about your MMC .

Hope you're wrong about the long cycles. I'm sure I read somewhere that your time from ovulation to next period is always the same (but differs for different women) - which means that if I ovulated on CD19 last month with a 33 day cycle, and I am ovulating today, then this month will be a super long cycle!

I also read that stress can delay ovulation - perhaps that is the problem. Must stop Googling. Hopefully someone with a bit more knowledge will be along soon...

[pinchmeimustbedreaming]

hello there crazy lady! yes i am in the same boat. my first child was concieved first month and my dh and i have been ttc for 8 months now. at about month6 i thought enough was enough and bought opks all negative too, left it another month still not pregnant. i then chatted to some very helpful ladies on here and they recommended fertility friend website, iv never looked back! you can chart everything from cm to temps. i only started half way through so havent seen a ful month yet but it really gives you a good indicator of whats going on. unfortunatly i was 11 days late this month, as you can imagine i was climbing the walls but hpts were negative.

not sure of the facts but i have read somewhere that it isnt so great to have sex all the time, apparently once a day or even every other day is better. more concentated if you like. like i said not 100% but suppose it makes sense. my dh is on strict instructions not to see to himself, i need his best swimmers!!!!!

[ShowOfHands]

It is normal for your cycle to vary very slightly sometimes and to have occasional anovulatory cycles. You are also right about the luteal phase remaining pretty much constant.

The sheer variety in cycle lengths you are seeing isn't characteristic of a 'normal' cycle especially if you've had a previously relatively predictable cycle. 28 at the shortest and 42 at the longest is a big difference. I'd pop to the GP just to see what's happening with your hormone levels at various times of the month.

OPKs alone aren't reliable as an indication of ovulation.

It sounds v frustrating!

[BabyValentine]

Pinchme - Glad to hear I'm not alone! I've tried the fertilityfriend website this morning and it won't let me log in. I did take my temperature every so often just out of interest. No discernible pattern though - do you know if a C thermometer is accurate enough, or do I need a Farenheit?

Thanks SOH - I guess I'm just a little concerned with the doctor laughing me out of the surgery seeing as it is only my first month...

TBH, I thought that a 30 day cycle and pregnant first month was pretty freakish for DD and assumed that most other women had pretty varying cycles, especially after being pregnant.

[BabyValentine]

Okay - I've managed to log on to FertilityFriend. Hurrah!

Should I put in all my cycle dates for the last 12 months, or not bother?

And also, should I put in the negative OPK results, or will that mess things up? Is it possible that I did ovulate, but still got negative results? However, that does mean that I have had false negatives earlier in the month, and a false positive today - doesn't sound likely does it?

[pinchmeimustbedreaming]

apparently you can get basal body thermometers from boots. i have a f one its actually my sons from his first aid kit.
you really should chart it most if not every day to see a pattern as you could leave it 3 days and not realise you've ovulated.
as for ff i cant remember what i did first think it was click on charting basic or something, think its the bottom coloured box to the right. i will check it out and let you know
my cycles have been crazy too varying from 26-56 days

[pinchmeimustbedreaming]

just had a look and yes on the home page to the right there are somecoloured boxes the bottom 1 is charting basics go through all the slides then it will give you the option to log in. thats how i did it, there probably is an easier way though

[BabyValentine]

Thanks, pinchme. I have entered all my data into the chart. And I'm off to buy a basal thermometer. I have been taking my temp. using DD's thermometer and from the FF graph, there was a recent dip - which correlates with ovulation today. Although that still doesn't FEEL right with regard to CM and Mittelschmerz, IYSWIM. Still none the wiser, but I feel better with my facts and figures recorded!

[pointsmakeprizes]

Hi there, I have the same problem with my cycles, they have been from 28 - 40 days in the last year. I think its possible that you are ovulating today, I did not ovulate until day 26 last month, the month before that was day 16 I think. I used the CBFM, last month I thought that it had just missed my ovulation as I was not getting any peaks and the latest i had ever ovulated was Day 22 prior to that. I thought that i had actually ovulated on around Day 17 last month as had all the ewcm, ovulation pains and a slight temp rise. Sure enough, i started to get peaks around day 26 and I did ovulate on day 26 (i got more ewcm) and my temps went up significantly more and stayed up. Unfortunately because I had thought i was going to ovulate around day 16/17 we had lots of sex around that time and in the build up. I was not expecting to ovulate much later and we got caught out and we only managed to have sex once the day before I actually ovulated. As soon as my period finishes the plan is to have sex every other day now. I am ditching the opks this month and just going with the sex every other day method and temping to confirm ovulation.

I def recommend FF and to try and take your temps every morning. Good luck with this month!

[pointsmakeprizes]

By the way, I went to the GP about my cycles and although we did a Day 21 progesterone test (in my case Day 28 as long cycle) which confirmed ovulation, he would not carry out any further tests until we had been trying at least a year. I am 34, but my DS took a year to conceive so I obviously have issues somewhere. At that stage we had been trying for about 5 months but I have to admit that I was a bit naughty and told him we had been trying for 8 months so that we might get more help.

[BabyValentine]

Hi Points, I don't blame you for telling a little white lie to the doctor.

DH and I have been having sex every other day moreorless this month, so I might start doing my temperature properly and give up altogether with the sticks. It seems that they are making things more complicated.

So, no OPKs, basal temp. and FertilityFriend, and sex every other day is my plan.

BTW, do you take your temp. as soon as you wake up before getting out of bed?

[pinchmeimustbedreaming]

yes and every morning, my poor ds doesnt like it as i dont answer to his early morning sreams asap any more, oops!! also it has to be after several hours sleep not justa cat nap

[BabyValentine]

Bleeding today

I bloody KNEW I didn't feel like I was ovulating yesterday. Stoopid sticks!

This makes this cycle a normal 30, and if I assume that December's OPK was correct (?) then my luteal phase is about 16/17 days (is that possible?), which meant I ovulated on about January 5th/6th - when DH was away with work...

Points - when will your year be up, so you can visit the GP again? I guess the GP is thinking that a year to conceive DC1, then possibly a year to conceive DC2... Not that that makes things any less sressful for you.

Also, how does the temperature work - it rises just before ovulation, is that right?

Thanks everyone for reading my moans. I feel much better writing it all down. DH is great, but it is just not the same for men I don't think.

[AttilaTheMeerkat]

BV

Ditch the OPK's as of now (these are problematic at best) and do not temp chart either, this method can also be fraught with difficulties. Also you can have a temp rise in the second half of your cycle when an egg has not been shed so charting as a method is not infallible either.

Personally speaking only I think you are well beyond using such methods now in view of the length of time you have been ttc.
If you have been ttc your second child for a year now a visit to the GP would be in order.

It is certainly not unknown for people to conceive their first child readily but have problems conceiving the second (this is called secondary subfertility). It would be in both your interests therefore to visit the GP and have some tests done on both of you. Generally speaking as well fertility does decline with age.

[BabyValentine]

Thanks Attila, you seem to know what you are talking about (I have spotted some of your other posts) .

I feel a bit of a fraud as this is only our first month TTC#2 (Pinch and Points have been trying longer). I guess I'm a bit of a worrier and had concerns about my cycle being all over the place, having been so regular prior to DD. I'm 32, BTW.

The sticks are well and truly ditched. And although I might do my temperature just out of interest, I am planning on sex every other day for this cycle. Sounds like a plan, no?

[AttilaTheMeerkat]

Sorry I thought you had been ttc longer than a month (read the list of previous cycles and used that) but even so I would say make love instead when you both feel like it. Do not go down the route of timed intercourse as doing that can put pressure on the relationship.

If you do temp be mindful that this method is not infallible either.

Good luck!!.

[bluefootedpenguin]

BV I just wanted to say that in my experience - strange cycle over a few months, unpredictable in length and regularity - that using OPKs are a waste of time if you do not have a regular cycle. I used these over a couple of months and never got a positive result then 4 in a row which was actually the opk detecting HcG as I was pregnant. Just try and relax and enjoy some slightly less pressured sex. Temp and CM charting are more reliable as you can easily miss your LH surge with OPKs. Good luck!

[BabyValentine]

TBH Attila, I am furious with myself for being so stressed about this. Last time I never in amillion years expected to get pregnant first month, and wasn't even aware of the 2ww. This time is a differnet story though.

Making love is good advice. Shouldn't be a problem, DH seems up for it! Thanks for your sensible advice, much appreciated

[BabyValentine]

Wise words Penguin. The last stick has been used up (random positive day on CD29 of 30 day cycle?) and I have well and truly given them up.

I'm sure that I wouldn't have been in this silly state had I not started using them in the first place IYSWIM. Oh, well, a lesson learned. New month, new start and all that. And lots of sex

[pinchmeimustbedreaming]

glad those horrid sticks are in the bin baby, dont get bogged down with temping, you will only end up winding yourself up like this month. it is however a nice little way of seeing each month at a glance, not just temps but each phase, cm and exactly when you do have sex. ff will put a whacking great big red line through when you ovulated but only 3 days after.

i have found that having sex because of ttc has actually helped us and not put pressure on, as after my first born my sex drive dropped dramatically. the more you have sex the more you want it. i am aware thought hat this isnt the case for all couples.

[BabyValentine]

I know what you mean about the decreased sex drive after DC#1 - and the last few weeks have been rather fun

I'm giving myself today to be anxious about this, then tomorrow is a new day and a new month. And God knows I feel so lucky to have DH and DD and I AM BEING RIDICULOUS!

[arionater]

I am not ttc but I use fam (fertility awareness method) for contraceptive/general awareness purposes, so I know my cycle well. Just wanted to say that I have cycles of very varied length (26-46 days in the last few years) but I always ovulate. So erratic cycles does not necessarily mean there is any problem with ovulation (though obviously it can make it harder to predict when you're likely to be fertile in advance). Interestingly, my mother also had very erratic cycles but was highly fertile and conceived very easily.

[pinchmeimustbedreaming]

arionater i know what you mean my mother is the same, we joke and refer to it as her crate load of mega eggs, like i said my ds was conceived not only first month but first day of ttc! heard it can take a little longer second time around so not worried at mo.
babyv i felt like that first month too, like youve said before a bit of a fraud. people say to you relax it will happen and try to forget your even ttc to get the pressure of you both, i hate all that! how can you forget that your trying? its exciting time in your life and we are all bound to be a little crazy about it. after all we are women hahahahaha

[BabyValentine]

Arionater, I was a little worried about complete lack of ovulation so that is reassuring. I'm sure if I hadn't used the sticks, and just trusted what I felt, then maybe I wouldn't be so anxious about it.

Any way, feeling much better today. The thing is pinchme, I was completely relaxed last time (although I did get pregnant straight away) but I never expected a BFP - wasn't even going to do the test, I only did it so that I'd know I wasn't pregnant and be able to have a glass of wine! Mmmm....