12 wk scan showed failed pregnancy...gutted.

[boodleboot]

hi

i had my 12wk scan last week only to discover pregnancy had failed at 6 wks but i hadn't miscarried spontaneously...very, very shocking and devastating for me and DH obviously as figured all would be well having passed 12wk mark. Had ERPC last thurs and now finished bleeding. docs said no barriers to conception presented

Am i mad to start trying again straight away?

[chequersmate]

Oh I'm so sorry.

I have no experience or advice but hope that you are bearing up ok.

[Idranktheeasterspirits]

I'm so sorry for your loss.

As long as the doctors have said it's ok and as long as you and dh are ready i can't see any reason for you not to try. x x

[sweetheart]

sorry to hear of your experience.

We were told to wait until I had 1 period before TTC but as it happened I fell pregnant immediatly (not through actively trying). It was fine, no problem at all and ds is 3 now.

[proudestmummyever]

Hi boodleboot, first of all, hugs and kisses to u, I know JUST hw u feel, having had 3 mc's, 2 mmc, where I went for scan and was told the same as you, it is devastating, I had a "straightforward" mc first time, when my dd(prev relationship) was around 2 and a
half, then another mc about 4 mnths later which was the mmc, went for 12 week scan same as u, expecting all 2 be fine, sadly the bby had died at week 8, had a d&c then got pregnant again early June 06 and had a beautiful bby boy March 07, bled loads thru tht preg, and always thought I was gnna lose him too, but we didn't! He does have a genetic disorder, by some horrible twist, a one off, as me and my dp of 6 1/2 years have bn tested, we are ok, so less than 1% chance it happening again, but we do go thru a lot, or rather my son does, th worst thing is severe epilepsy, he cant walk yet either and won't for a while, then Jan'08 another mmc, but despite all this we are nw on 2nd mnth of trying for #3

So pls do not lose hope, life is really really shit sometimes, and cruel,as I knw only too well, but pls pls keep yr chin up and stay strong xxxx

[boodleboot]

i love your moniker proudestmummyever that is lovely - best wishes for your son i am sure he is a great blessing to you.

it was a shit way to find out but its good that i am not alone [although not good too IYSWIM]

i am very sad as was really looking forward to this little november baby - its the 1st for me and my new DH - i have two happy health children with my XH. I think i will just let nature take its course and get back on the horse [so to speak....not that my DH is a horse....that would be wrong....]

let God decide when and if it happens for us...

[proudestmummyever]

Hahahaha!! Loved the horse thing!!! , I know it is shit, sooo shit, but hoping after everything we have bn thru something good will happen, My son Jack is a little star, always smiling, despite everything he has went thru in te 2 years he has bn here, so if he can come up smiling so can I

He has really made me realise a lot, and changed all of our lives for the best

And you def ar not alon, thts hw I felt too, I see things the same as you, leave it in god's hands, what is for us won't go by us iyswim...xxx

[proudestmummyever]

Sorry bout the missing letters on last post hehe

[boodleboot]

i certainly hold my kids a little bit tighter since last week and really really appreciate how amazing it is they are here...the journey from conception to birth is certainly a miracle - so much can go wrong. still like you say i'm glad i dont have to understand why these things happen.....just accept that they do happen. Often the things we would never choose for ourselves are the things that shape us for the better. x

[louisesh]

Hi BOODLBOOT Soo soory about your loss.

I too went through the same last October [13th] myself and my DH went for our 12 week scan expecting to see something when i was informed our baby had died at 7-8 weeks.Again no signs or symptons.

Total devastation and shock i opted for the medical management and proceeded to have 2 weeks of bleeding.

Our first childs due date was tomorrow, 8 th may. Like you we started trying asap , well 2 months later by the time all had settled.

Still nothing... Now being investigated for secondary infertility in light of our ages i m 38 and DH 37.

Tomorrow we are going to commerate the day i m now attending counselling to help me move on but i will never forget....

Good luck to you.Life really stinks sometimes...

[PacificDogwood]

So sorry for your loss, Boodlboot!

If you have been told physically there is no reason you should not start trying again, AND you feel mentally/emotionally ready, then go for it!
It took 6 weeks for my period to return after each ERCOP (had 4 MMC), but conceived v quickly again after each.
So good luck!

[Higglepig]

Boodleboot - so sorry, it's so heartbreaking.

I conceived straight away after MC in 2007 - wasn't actively trying, just happened. Did have quite a lot of bleeding early on but it was never suggested that it was linked to conceiving directly after MC and DD is now 16 months

[boodleboot]

louisesh - thats really horrible for you - i hope the tests show nothing is wrong and i really don't think that 37 is very old in this day and age to conceive. fingers crossed for you. please let me know how it goes...life does stink sometimes but i always like to think that sometimes it stinks of the roses and others the manure they need to grow...

thanks for all your posts...

[louisesh]

Thanks for your kind words boodleboot hope things also work out for you....

At least its a nice sunny day for us to commerate our lost baby....

Take care and good luck

[amyboo]

Just to say that I just went through something very similar just last week, with my first ever pregnancy. Scan at 13 weeks showed I had miscarried at around 12 weeks. Had an ERPC last Thursday.

I was told to wait 1 month before TTC, as the doctor reackoned my body needed a bit of time to recover, and that the pregnancy might not be viable if I conceived straight away again.

[boodleboot]

sorry to hear your news amyboo its a shocker being there in that scan room expecting the best and getting news like that isn't it.

you are probably right about waiting a month too....i'm sure the doc said something similar to me but i was in a bit of a head shaking uh-huh huh-huh mode without actually really listening to anything....our local day hospital in Sidcup is really not a place you want to focus on [although staff were extrememly kind and gentle...]

[HappyBump]

Sorry to hear your news boodleboot I recently went through the same thing. MMC at 13 weeks baby had stopped growing at 9+ weeks. It was my second mc. My first mc was prior to having my DS 2 years ago.

I found the mc section under body and soul talk area very helpful. sorry am not clever enough to link it .

My doctor told me to wait one cycle before ttc again mostly for dating purposes. After my first mc, we waited one cycle and lucky enough to conceive straight away.

We are just ttc at the moment, so fingers crossed we are as lucky again.