First 2 were so easy, why are we struggling to conceive number 3?

[LJ29]

Hi guys, I was on the August thread but have a had a bit of a break from posting recently but have been lurking, congrats to all those who have their BFPs.

I have only been trying for 4 months but honestly and maybe naively didn't expect to still be trying. DS was a 'welcome surprise' and DD was conceived 1st month of trying. 3 years later I find myself struggling. I am only 28 so don't think age is an issue, I am carrying more weight but trying to lose it. My cycles are incredibly variable (28-42 days) but we have been having frequent sex and so far this month have bd'd every other day between CD 8 and CD27 (today) which is similar to last month. Hoping for a BFP this month but just wondered if anyone has any similar experiences?

[gigglewitch]

we had this with ds2 - got ds1 (with a little scan help tho) straight away, and dd was another one of the welcome surprise variety. DS2 took us 10 months of doing everything we could think of and resorted to ovulation tests, temp charts and everything. Apparently 12 mo is what they call "average"....
try to chill out and erm enjoy the erm ride so to speak

[LJ29]

BUMP!

[LJ29]

Anybody else in the same boat?

[SugaryTits]

I conceived DS1 and 2 first month of trying. Began TTC number 3 and took 4/5 months to fall pg. I had MC at 7 weeks, then had two cycles before I conceived again, then MC at 11 weeks. Just had my second period since MC...the waiting is driving me mad! I don't want to start ovulation testing and everything else just yet as I think it makes it more pressured but if it takes longer than a couple more months I think I will change my mind about that! Good luck for everyone waiting to conceive!

[JumpingJellyfish]

I'm also in the same boat- and recognise your name LJ29 from a few of the previous TTC threads! I'm 29, like you my first DC (DS) was a welcome accident (well, sort of trying but not really) and DD (DC2) was conceived within first month of trying and again that time I didn't even think about ovulation timing etc. I'm now on cycle 7 of TTC #3, and like you it is getting quite wearing. And also like you part of me is looking for reasons why it's taking longer (both physical and philosophical)- but deep down I think I know the reasons: DD is a poor sleeper so I'm always up at least once in the night, I go to bed late as I'm trying to write up my PhD in the eves so I'm really tired most days (and a bit stressed too). I think tiredness can have a big impact on fertility (cleverly). Also I'm vegetarian and read somewhere anaemia can affect fertility so now starting to take spatone (iron supplements) in addition to prenatal vits as think I haven't been eating as well as usual which could also affect fertility... And I'm also carrying an extra stone from DD (still!! she's 18mo!!) even though I'm not technically overweight I'm not my usual "fighting weight" as DH would put it! . Plus just don't think in our case we BD quite enough (although have tried this month). So my plan is:
(1) sleep more (but might have to finish thesis first)
(2) eat better / take iron
(3) exercise more to lose a bit of weight (not sure when...but trying to work out something!)
(4) BD more!

If we're still not pregnant by May I might go to the GP, but know the usual stats of needing to try for at least 12 months etc etc...

I think the most frustrating thing is that I'd assumed we'd fall straightaway, and so held off TTC until I knew we'd be ready for it in terms of age gaps etc. Now the age gap will be a bit bigger than I wanted ideally and more than 2 school years (because of how the birthdays will fall)- but such is life- we have been lucky so far and I think it just proves that having kids is always full of surprises and impossible to predict...
The annoying thing is we're supposed to "relax" while TTC but as soon as it starts to take more time than expected it's feckin' hard to not become obsessed

Sorry that was a loooong ramble!
Good luck LJ29- will keep an eye out for you xx

[cikecaka]

I had 3 children under the age of 3, so when after a break, we decided to go again, I thought it would happen instantly, took over 6 months before dd3 was conceived, My advice is relax, forget about trying and enjoy the trying.
Gave the same advice to friends of ours who were trying for nearly 18 months, they thought I was mad, their baby is due in a fortnight.

[AttilaTheMeerkat]

LJ29

I would seek medical advice sooner rather than later as your cycles would be seen as irregular in nature. A blood test can be done to see whether there are problems with your thyroid and this can also be done to see if there is a condition present called PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome). I am no expert heaven knows but these two problems are indeed causes of irregular periods.

With irregular cycles like this as well it is less likely that you are ovulating regularly if at all.

A blood test can be done according to calendar days - your LH and FSH levels can be done on day 3 and your progesterone can be measured on day 21. LH and FSH kickstart the ovulation process; if these two hormone levels are awry then ovulation will also be affected. Problems with the thyroid and PCO can be treated but you should be seen by a gynae. These are not problems for your GP to try and treat.

If you are also finding it damn nigh impossible to lose weight as well PCOS may be the root cause. You need to find out what the root cause of the irregular periods is.

Do seek medical advice. You will need to be persistant though in order to get answers.

[yellowflowers]

Hi LJ29 - welcome back.We're still here if you want to join us again here

[yellowflowers]

Ah - see you are also on other thread I mentioned this on LJ29 - not stalking you.
x

[LJ29]

Hi there ladies. Sorry to have deserted you but my mum has been here all weekend and she doesn't know that we are TTC!

Thanks Yello, I've been lurking and keeping up to date with everyone's stories. On CD 30 now so if I don't catch this month I will be joining the October thread and booking a visit to DR's as per Attilas advice.

[LJ29]

Well ladies, I just couldn't resist the urge and went and did a test.... its very faint but came up quickly!!! I really hope its a BFP so going to do another one in the morning!!!

[LJ29]

Thanks Annie, I know its not long at all and I did feel incredibly guilty even writing about my frustrations. I just hope its a correct result and that its a sticky bean!!

[Ilovebeingamummy]

Congrats LJ29 - I am for you and too as your first post could be written by me (except the irregular cycles - I am bang on 34 days even post mc) I have been ttc since sept, had 2 mcs in 3 cycles and now waiting til fri 9th to test to see if I have got pg this month.

DD and DS conceived easily 05 and 07.

I will be if bfn and scared of another mc if bfp. can't win.

Enjoy your BFP x

[LJ29]

ILM, I'm sure you will get your BFP soon. Easier said than done I know but I think I did a couple of things differently this month that may have made the difference. I took Agnus castus for the 1st half of my cycle to try and sort out irregular cycle, we only Bd'd every other day between CD8 and 27, which made such a difference to trying to get it in everyday. It really did help me to relax as we didn't feel any pressure at all.

I know how annoying it is when people say relax but they really are right. As for your MCs i really am sorry for your loss and hope you get all your wishes granted.

I am still in shock. I know is gross but I am sat here with the test on the arm of the sofa and just can't stop staring at it!! DH had just left for work when I did it (didn't want him to be disappointed if BFN) so have rung him at work!!

[Ilovebeingamummy]

LJ29 - don;t feel guilty about writing your frustrations - mine are incredibly real and very scary...I think the whole process is tbh, however long it takes.

Congrats again!! x