2 negative tests but still 8 days late - help!!!

[moin]

Hi, I need some advice from somewhere as I am going potty not knowing what's happening.

35 yrs old, have been off the pill and trying for a baby (number 2) since Sept 07 since then cycle has been 28 days until March (26) and April (30). This month thought we had got everything timed just right and was ecstatic when period was late but have now tested negative on day 29 and day 36 of cycle. Still no sign of period. Have never missed a period yet apart from when pregnant. Last pregnancy showed up on tests straight away.

Am really very tired, only want to eat fruit, and am crying every time I see a baby on the telly but am thinking this might just be wishful thinking. I am not under huge stress, Have I just convinced myself I am pregnant because I want to be? Hubby goes away for 4 months in August and I really wanted to pregnant before he went as I am worried it will be even more difficult to get pregnant when he gets back, due to my age! Worried I will suddenly go into the menopause while he is away!!! Can someone talk some sense into me please????

[lostittoday]

Hi
moin try not to worry you would be very unlikely to go into menopause.
Its not unususal to miss a period once in a while, or for it to be delayed, and it does tend to happen more when your ttc.
My doctor thinks the stress of ttc can do this to you.
Test again in a few days, if still no period and if its still a bfn do go and see your doctor and see if they will do a blood test to check for pregnancy.

I do know how stressful it is believe me I myself am having a terrible time with this ttc lark.

[moin]

Hi lostittoday. It's pants isn't it? I am trying not to worry but it's so hard. I intend to ring the docs tmrw and ask his advice - ironically he'd just prescribed clomid to get things moving and I was waiting for my next period so I could start them. Why do I have to miss a period now? By the time the next one turns up and I can start clomid my hubby will be going away and the whole thing will have to wait until Feb next year

[ScaryHairy]

Don't worry too much. I know it is crap waiting to get pregnant, it always seems to take me forever...

A simple explanation might be that you didn't ovulate this cycle. This is perfectly normal and happens to every woman once in a while but can mean that your cycle is longer (since it takes your body a bit longer to realise that it needs to bleed).

It does not mean that you will have to wait for ages for your period to come. You might just have a slightly longer cycle this time.

I think that if it hasn't shown up in a week I would go the GP and get them to check for pregnancy just to be sure.

[lostittoday]

Oh god how frustrating but don,t worry you still have plenty of time.
I have ben ttc for 9 months and if you have seen any of my other posts you wil see what a loony I have turned into.

My periods have been all over the place making me think I am pregnant a few times.
I now look on pregnancy tests has pure evil due to so many bfn's.
I am currently on cd 41 and no period, have tested up to cd 40 nothing but blasted negatives.
I am supposed to have a day 2 test done, but no period so not sure what I should be doing, and I have to wait until the 27th of june for my appointment at the fetility clinic to find out what to do next.
Its so crap.

[moin]

I keep hoping the negatives will miraculously turn into positives and am constantly fishing them out of the bin to check!! How sad is that!!! It just seems to take forever and I want to get on with it. My poor dh is getting a bit fed up as all he hears on the phone is me moaning on about not being pregnant. He works away a lot and I don't want to put him off coming home.

Does anyone know how I work out when I will be fertile again? I normally count forward from my period and allow a few days either way but without a period how do I know? Will I need to wait until I have a period again to ovulate?

[ScaryHairy]

Hm, I don't think that counting days is necessarily the best way to work out when you are fertile, as presumably you are assuming that you ovulate on, say, day 14 of your cycle, which might not be the case.

A good way instead might be to wait and see when you have cervical mucus that looks like egg white - stretchy, clear and very slippery. This is fertile mucus that sperm need to survive and it is a good sign that ovulation is imminant and that you should have sex.

I know it doesn't really help for forward planning, but "they" do say the best thing to do is have sex every 2 or 3 days through your cycle and then a bit more if you see fertile mucus.

Sorry not to be of more help. I can usually pintpoint my own ovulation to a day or two, but can't count forward to work out, say, when I will ovulate in August and be sure of being accurate.

[lostittoday]

moin your as confused as me I am feeling exactly the same with the same sort of questions.
You could try using opk's I suppose they may give you some idea of when you ovulate.
I myself although my periods have been irregular, and I have sometimes missed 2 3 months at a time have continued ttc despite no period hoping that I will strike lucky somewhere.
Why did you go onto clomid have tests showed your not always ovulating this could be the reason for no period because you haven,t ovulated.
I have had a day 21 progesterone test done on this cycle, and it was very low suggesting no ovulation so maybe thats why I have not had my period.
Whats bugging me is that I have to wait until the 27th of JUne to discuss the result.

[elkiedee]

moin, lots of people have babies your age and older. It took me 9 months with dc1 starting in October 2005 at 36, and I wasn't even trying in the way that you and lostit are - it was more a case of not using contraception. The stress could be a factor.

I've a friend who this happened to at about your age with dc1.

We've both conceived dc2 since then almost the first time we tried!

Also, this time round, I tested negative on day 34 and then positive twice on day 41. (I have an irregular cycle and first time round it took me a while to realise it was 6 weeks since my LMP).

If you're not already pregnant, and it's possible you might be despite the tests (it's still quite early) you've got two months to keep trying and then again when your dh comes home. While you're waiting to be able to start Clomid, you can always keep trying in the meantime.

[moin]

Thanks for the advice ScaryHairy. I usually cound 14 days then start trying in earnest from day 11 through to 17 just to be on the safe side! I have heard the sex every 2/3 days thing but it's not really feasible as dh is away 2 wks out of every month so I consider myself lucky he's been here on the 'right' days for the past few months! We only have until August and then that's it until next year as he's off with work so am praying my period turns up soon then we can get on with it

[ScaryHairy]

I know how you feel.

My DH is away from Mon - Fri every week, so i is not unusual for him to be away at the right time and it drives me mad!

I know it is hard, but try not to stress (although what right I have to say that to anyone I do not know as I am a committed stress-head).

At least your Dr is on the case and 35 is really not very old to be ttc, as elkidee says.

[lostittoday]

Its so confusing with a irregular cycle.
I had a 3 month absence as soon as I started ttc August 07, it was horrendous I carried out test, after test, until I finally came to the realisation that I wasn,t pregnant.
They checked my thyroid function and I was diagnosed with a undercative thyroid commenced on thyroxine and periods returned in December 07.
However they have been all over the place ever since.

[moin]

lostit...the doc suggested clomid and I jumped at it! I haven't had any tests yet but things are a bit complicated by the fact I live in Germany. I daren't use the local doctor as she speaks no English and wants to do very weird things (I picked this up from her sign language before I ran out of there in tears!!!) so have to drive 2 hrs to see an English doctor instead. The doc seems to think that as I know things work anyway (baby 1) it should just be a case of kick starting things with the clomid. I am hoping he is right as not sure how I would access fertility treatment here!

[moin]

elkiedee, thanks! You are right, I am not quite the wrnkled old prune I am feeling like at the moment! I just keep reading all these stories about fertility falling rapidly after 35 and I feel like one of those egg timers where the sand is running out!!!! I am crossing everything that I might still be pregnant but will keep trying for fun till I know for sure! Dh is home again after yet another week away tmrw so will be glad to get jumped on without me checking the calendar first!

[lostittoday]

I'm not sure if they would just put you onto clomid here without assessing your fertility state first.
Of course I am all new to this so I could be wrong.

[lostittoday]

I can relate to all of the feelings and thoughts you have described.
I myself am quite depressed atm I feel old, shrivelled up, and I am scared that I will run out of time to concieve.
Your still only 35 I don,t think you will have a problem.

[moin]

Lostit, I do think I am quite lucky going straight onto clomid so am not arguing with the doc Bad luck having thyroid probs as well, if it's not one thing it's another....The worst thing is you don't even think about this sort of thing unless you are trying for a baby and then you realise just how hard it can be and how your fertility can be affected by all sorts of bizarre things.

[lostittoday]

I am so scared it won,t happen for me and I am worried to death about early menopause, and keep wondering if thats the reason for why my periods are all over the place.

I have been playing with my nephews one year old today, and I looked at us in the mirror together and imagined that she was mine.
I feel so desperate thinking that I will never have one of that age again to enjoy.

[moin]

I know exactly what you mean lostit. It seems that everyone is pregnant except me at the moment! My friends who had babies when I did are have just had or are just about to have number 2. I'm happy for them but keep thinking why can't it be me! Everyone keeps aking where number 2 is and I keep making excuses about dh being away too much...I am also convinced I am about to start the menopause too because my cycle is now a bit erratic and now this missed one...and I'm sure my hair is falling out in handfuls. I keep looking at my little boy's baby things and wondering if I will ever use them again. I just want to do it all again.

I always wanted lots of children and if I can't have more I'll always feel there is something missing. I am so grateful for my little boy and feel so guilty for feeling that he is somehow not enough but I can't help wanting more.

[lostittoday]

My worries about early menopause are not helped by the fact that my mom and 2 sisters went through theirs early around the ages of 38 and 40.
I always wanted more children but my dh never has, and its always been a difficult subject to bring up with him.
However now he has agreed to have another I am thinking its probably too late.
I can,t bear to look at pregnant women atm I feel so sad.
I know its not guaranteed but I would love a daughter to shop with, go around with when I am older, and I feel awful when I think that I may never have one.
Despite being 37 I am still wanting to expand my family.

[stuarts]

Moin - I would be EXTREMELY wary of taking Clomid without having the necessary blood tests first. It could be disastrous in terms of TTC.

See this earlier thread

[lostittoday]

Yes I was abit surprised that moins doctor gave her this without tests first.
Can it not also result in multiple births.

[moin]

Now I'm getting worried...what blood tests should I be having and why? Stuarts, why would it be 'disastrous in terms of TTC'?? Do you know this for sure? I can't find any research on this as a side effect and believe me, I have looked.

[stuarts]

See the link to the thread above.

I know from my gynae of instances where Clomid has been given without the proper blood tests and the effect has been to completely shut the ovaries down (Clomid works the opposite way to how you think and if it is not suitable for you, it can have the reverse affect and shut the ovaries down). You need to have blood tests to check for levels of FSH and LH and then a decision should be made as to whether you are suitable for Clomid

I would be very wary of taking it without having blood tests first, I would see a gynae

[jamescagney]

Hi moin, I just wanted to chime in because your story is so similar to mine! Haven't had period since March 24, periods were regularish but when 9 weeks had passed and had negative pg tests I went to the Doc. She did bloods ( i was sure it was menopause, am 33!) everything came back ok wasn't pg, or menopausal or have thyroid problems.
Started going to acupuncture for the past 4 weeks,still no sign of period and discovered 5 days ago I am pg!
Can't believe it. I would honestly say forget about luteal phases etc for a little bit (can I say relax?) and bonk for fun.

Please mind yourself and try acupuncture if it suits you before going on Clomid. My sis says it turned her into a cow