Yet ANOTHER bleeding period!

[billysitch]

Well we have been trying for over a year now and two mc's later and we still have nothing to show for our efforts.

Starting to think the boat has sailed and our gorgeous boy 3 will be an only child after all.

Anyone else feeling sorry for themselves? Nope, just me then.

It is unlike me to be honest, I am a very optimistic bubbly person, but kind of blue right now.

Friends popping all over the place with gorgeous babes and feeling envious.

So annoyed, dont do jealousy or envy usually and hate self pity but right now it has got the better of me and have had enough.

Gorgeous doting hubby, fantastic little boy, great life and never even wanted kids until
I met my hubby 11 years ago.

Woe is me! Someone slap me and tell me to get a grip.

Sorry needed a moan.

[lostittoday]

So sorry billysitch it stinks I know.
I myself have been ttc for 9 months and its now starting to feel like crap.

I am 37 so feel time is running out.
I already have 1 ds of 7 and I am worried to death he will end up an only, and I beat myself up daily for not trying sooner.

It must be particularly hard for you because of the mc's.
I know what you mean about friends having babies it really hurts doesn,t it.
Hang on in there there is always somebody on here in the same situation to talk to.
Fingers crossed it will happen for you soon.

[nobodyputsBBinthecorner]

can i join too? i have no DC's yet... feeling very sorry for my self too i had a mc last year too x

[billysitch]

Hi lost, thanks. I am 37 too, hey ho. Just gets a bit much some times, kind of want to stop trying so that dont feel so crap every month it doesnt work.

[nobodyputsBBinthecorner]

gawd your just like me, wen i fell pg last year i hadnt discovered this place and it all seemed so easy

[billysitch]

Hi BB, sorry to hear about your mc too.

I kind of put my first mc down to bearvement due to losing our nephew suddenly who was 2, but the second came as a bit of a shock and now just feel like it must be caus I am overweight, or because I had a glass of wine, or because I cant sleep or somesuch rubbish.

Gets hard when people (esp family) say 'oh not having any more then?) what do I say, well actually..... but kind of dont want the pity or questions about have you tried this or that..

Gets harder each month now.

[nobodyputsBBinthecorner]

oh billysitch, your sounding more and more like me! im overwieght too, and i put my mc down to the stress of being made redundant

so sorry to hear of you loosing your nephew my parents both died suddenly but i dont know how that would compare to a little one

ive told a few friends but not many, luckily no one asks if im trying cos im only 21, but its all i can think of x

[billysitch]

21, a lovely age, I remember it well, at more sober moments!

Good luck and keep thinking calm thoughts, I am a buddist and meditate regularly, it usually keeps me even, until now.

But blimey you have time on your side, so dont worry, although you obviously will, like us all you are only human.

During my career (early retirement from HMF) I was given 12 years of depo, so think my fertility took a severe bashing which I doubt is helping.

Do not want to go down the route of being poked and prodded, kind of want nature to do its thing, but wish it would get a bleeding move on!

[lostittoday]

I concieved my ds within 2 cycles last time and I knew nothing about trying at the right time, ovulation, etc never gave any of it a thought.
I just started doing the deed regularly.
It feels so differnt this time and I find all the literature out there on trying to concieve over 35 very depressing.
They even say its difficult for young people making me think what chance do I have.

I do have thyroid problems so I realise that may have an impact on my fertility.

I am now under the care of a gyno I have only seen them once though and I am in the process of having blood hormone tests.
They want to check all of my levels to determine if I need their help to get pregnant or not.
I also dread ending up with unexplained fertility.

[nobodyputsBBinthecorner]

i know what you mean! people seem shocked when i say im only 21, but i just feel so much older, i was orphaned at 17 so feel ive grown up fast, (mum died when i was ten, dad at 17), been with DP for 5 years.

sorry im a bit novice is depo the injection or implant? im on a conception thread where the ladies are lovely but with like you said friends havign babies and ladies on there getting bfps, you cant help feeling sorry for yourself can you??

did you have any trouble with concieving DS?

[lostittoday]

Sorry that should say infertility

[beaniesteve]

Count me in. I've been trying 7 months and can't bear the thought of going a whole year

am old, and trying for my first.
Like BB I never even thought it would be like this when I first joined this place for advice. I thought it would be easy but feel like I am trying everything and still not getting anywhere.

[lostittoday]

nobodyputsBBinthecorner

I wish I was 21 again.
I would love to turn the clock back and have more children.
Of course I realise that even though you have loads of time on your side, it must still be distressing to go month after month without it happening.

[billysitch]

Depo was an injection every 3 months, it basically stops or rather stopped everything for me, ovulation the whole sherbang, but then at 17 - 30 I had my whole career and didnt want any children.

When I met my husband, we had to wait for the periods to return, that took 3 years, then fertility took a further 6 months and we were trying for 6 months and fell pregnant, and have to be honest like you LOST,I didnt do any of the planning, not even sex that regularly during the right time, just kind of left it to chance and it happened 6 months later.

But now, it has become a whole issue, well for me anyway, DH is very supportive and loves all the extra attention but bless him, I can see he is lost every month too. It doesnt help that my periods are between 4-6 weeks apart so after 5 weeks he is asking if I have tested but I usually have PMT at this time and KNOW it would be negative but just dont want to dissapoint him.

He had to convince me to try for another baby after we lost James last year (nephew) and now it is all I want.

[nobodyputsBBinthecorner]

it is!! beanie you know what i find off , you cant get help round here till you can prove you've been trying a year!!

lost it, how many DCs do you have? i would like 3 but if theres gonna be trouble like this it seems unlikely!!

[billysitch]

BB, I met a woman in my antenatal with DS1 and she had unexplained infertility at a very young age and then found at 35 she was 6 months pregnant and overjoyed. She had her first son a month before my son and now has another! So there is hope for us all I am sure, but sometimes, just sometimes it all seems a bit of a hill to climb.

[lostittoday]

Hi
beaniesteve

I feel for you I have read a few of your posts.
I started this ttc business with just doing the deed regularly like last time.
However if I don,t fall pregnant shortly I will probably turn to opk's in desperation.

[billysitch]

Sorry beanie, missed your post, welcome.

[billysitch]

what is opk's?

I am feeling like a novice at this now.

I have looked at some other threads, and they mention clomid, but not sure what this is either and if it envolves 'procedures' before it is prescribed.

Also I find my doctor unapproacable and have been unwilling to go for a 'chat'

[nobodyputsBBinthecorner]

i did try temping but that upset me more, it all felt too clinical! its not helping that atm im convincing self im pg, as CD 31 and NO af, but my afs vary!! i worry so much tho you know? like is my weight an issue...am i too stressed (stressful job) etc

[lostittoday]

I currently have one ds who is 7.
I feel quite depressed about it at times.
I can't go out anymore without studying other children and their siblings, watching them play together, it makes me feel sick to think of my ds ending up an only.

[nobodyputsBBinthecorner]

lost i know what you mean, i sometimes feel myself becoming a bore as its all i think about, and worry ive jinxed myself by being on here, and having already looked at buggies etc

[lostittoday]

opk stands for ovulation predictor kit.
Basically they are supposed to detect the LH surge you get before you ovulate so you can do the business at the right time.
I am also a novice still getting my head around understanding all of the blood tests they do on you.
BB thats the reason why I have not done any of the temping, opk's as yet, I don,t want to make it any more stressful than it is.

My af also varies, currently on cd 23, with signs that af may be on its way.
However my af as been all over the place so I have no idea when it will decide to show itself.

[nobodyputsBBinthecorner]

its just so stressful isnt it, of late ive found myself thinking rather maliciously that all of the people who say i got pg by accident are either magicians or liars!

[lostittoday]

BB
Same here I am constantly thinking about it.

The only people I can share my feelings with is everyone on here.
I have not told anyone in my family I am ttc.
My dh is very laid back about it and its never on his mind at all, its a case of if it happens it happens,, if it doesn't it doesn,t with him.
He doesn't seem to understand my feelings, or desperation, which I find quite irritating.
I am in it on my own so I am very grateful to have people on here to talk to.

[lostittoday]

When I first started ttc I was really excited and started looking at prams, baby clothes, now here I am 9 months later nearing 38 and nothing.