TTC a third baby

[jaype]

Hi - I'm currently thinking of ttc number three, have a dd and ds already with 23 months between them. I'm just interested to know the pros and cons of having more then two, and how easy people found coping with 3 as opposed to 2. The pros to me are - When no3 comes along (presuming we start trying now), ds will be starting school so it won't be so knackering as I'll only have two at home at once mostly (except holidays but hubbie is a teacher so not a problem). We can also afford it, especially as when maternity pay runs out, dd will be old enough for nursery grant to help with the fees (I work from home 2 days a week, so not too strenuous in terms of nursery runs and commuting). I'm one of 4 so love the idea of a big family. also, hubbie's uncle just died, his mum is one of only 2 and is very lonely at the moment now she's siort of on her own, which I don't want to happen to my children. The cons are that I hate pregnancy and birth and husband is not desperately keen on sleepless nights as he has just started his own business and also works full time / is trying to write a research book. Busy man! I suppose I know all the childcare will fall on me so want to know how it will be. Thanks in advance... Any advice on logistics such as how you fit 3 in a car also appreciated - we have a VW Golf at the miment and I don't want to have to get something much bigger as parking will be a complete ar@e!

[LynetteScavo]

Don't do it.

[MUMOFDJandP]

really??? Im going to watch this with interest too!

[Broodymumof2]

Hi i just wanted to add that i'm a mum of 2dd....ttc #3 and a stepmom to 2 lovely teenage girls..i think that having 3 wont be much different to 2..you sound pretty settled and the baby would prob fit in i think you are just having pre baby nerves that i think everyone suffers...after all having kids is a huge life change..(for the best in my opinion).

When i had my first dd i was a stepmom to 2 girls (age 3 and 5 at the time) who live with us on and off on or whenever there mother cant cope (whole other story)...then when dd was 5 months i found out i was pg with my second dd there is only 15 months between them..... it was hard work but i love being a mom and even with the 4 girls i still managed to work (in a school) part time and go to college which is 2hrs away from where i live.

Only you know if you can do it..and you are on here hun so i bet you already have a good idea of what you will do xx good luck xx

Ps i can highly recommend a zafira for larger families so easy to drive and park!

[McDreamy]

I'm also trying for number 3 although nothing has happened yet I have days when I can't wait to be pregnant and days when I think what are you doing woman!!!

[jaype]

Glad I'm not the only one having nerves... Have decided to wait a couple of months now as h's cousin is getting married abroad at the end of September and if I'm too big we won't be able to go! I think it will also help get rid of another problem in that i was scared that if I got pg this month I'd end up in hospital with all the other New Year conceptions. Accordign to my last midwife, there's a bit of a peak of births at the end of Sept / start of Oct owing to all the unprotected drunken shenanigans at Xmas and New Year coming to their natural conclusion... It was busy enough normally, so that would truly be hell.

[spugs]

im pregnant wih #3 (due end of march) think its going to be very different to having 2 as i had a 5 yr gap between them so dd1 was at school and could dress herself etc. this time theres only going to be 23 mths between dd2 & 3 so more of a shock to the system shall we say

[jaype]

It's fun watching them play together - and ds has just suffered a shock today as he's finally twigged that his little sister can now tell on him for pushing or thumping her, as in 'mummy, hurt, hurt' (pointing to offending brother and wounded body part) Ha ha.

[carmenelectra]

i am gonna try for 3rd at at of yr too and i have thought about pros and cons a lot. I work part time but cannot afford to cut hrs. Eldest is at school and Ds2 will be just over one when i try.

have thought about the car thing(for dp, i dont drive)and i would have to manoevere a double buggy! hOlidays more expensive plus need two hotel rooms or big SC Apartment(holidays a luxury i cannot live without!).

As for coping im not too worried really, I think first couple of mths the worst and i would be off work then which makes it miles easier. its just when you have to go back isnt it?

[AussieSim]

Gotta go with your instincts I reckon. I am 20weeks with DD1 and have a DS1 who is 5 and a DS2 who is 2.5. My DS's have been a bit of a breeze and now they play so brilliantly together. I have been clucky ever since I had DS2, but my DH especially agonised over going for no.3. I will be 39 when this one arrives and I know a lot of people think we must be mad, but I couldn't face looking back with regret and time having run out for us. I still have days when I think I must have been a bit nuts, but it passes.

I think you sound quite fortunate with your DH's situation. Mine is gone from 6am till 7pm, so I have already had discussions about what kind of support I am going to need in those first few months with the new baby. I reckon I will get a mothers helper in for a few hours each evening to get me through the dinner/bedtime routines.

On the car situation - no happy news I am afraid. Even my Subaru station wagon won't fit 3 child restraints - one of which is a baby capsule - in the back. I will be swapping my husband for his car which is a bit roomier in the back seat initially, but can see my way to larger car eventually as friends have explained that as the kids get older you need to be able to cart around their friends as well. HTH, sim

[3andnomore]

I must admit, that whilst I love ds3, I sometimes wish I never had a 3. child....because 3 seems to me so much more hard work than 2 ever were

[Broodymumof2]

3andmore really?..i find the more kids the better as they help to keep each other amused..when the 4 girls are together they play brilliantly and there is a 8yr age gap between the oldest and youngest!

[3andnomore]

you are lucky then...my Kids do nothing but fight...admittedly the 5y and 3 year old now have times where they do play nicely together, but they still fight a lot of the time, lol!

[3andnomore]

Oh, I found it really easy to adjust to 2 Kids, which many people find more difficult, so, I have heard, but then there was 6 1/2 years between ds1 and 2....

[jaype]

Found it very easy going from 1 to 2. Going from zero to one was my personal nightmare - ds never slept through the night till he was 20 months, but dd did it from 5 weeks (well, 12 - 7am). perhaps I've forgotten how bad it can be?
The car seats thing sounds a nightmare. Might post elsewhere about that?