TTC 10yrs since last baby!

[mummyharvey]

Hi everyone!

My husband & I recently discussed planning to expand our small family. We have a 10yr old daughter together & during that time have been quite content with having it as just the 3 of us but recently we've felt ready for another. I never thought I'd have another after such a long time. But the thought of planning one is so exciting to me. It's still early days but I am already taking folic acid & currently on a high dose of it because of other medications I have to take.

I guess what i really want to ask is, has anyone else had another baby with such a large gap from the first one? Do you have any tips on making sure our daughter doesn't feel left out? What were your experiences like having an older child & a newborn?

[MouseLove]

Hi there. There's a 10 yr age gap between me and my younger sister. And I loved having her as my "doll" I got a cd when she was born and bragged to all my friends it was from MY new sister. We shared a room until I moved out aged 20 however my mum built a conservatory so I could have my own space while doing my GCSE's - never easy with a 5yr old around your feet. It worked for us and we are so close now we are older. The age gap is almost closed as we get older now.

[jimijack]

10 years between mine.
In some respects it's easy because my now 13 year old does his own thing, demands little in terms of attention but has well established interests that baby had to fit in with.

Unlike previous posters, my two do not get on.
They bicker constantly, and I mean CONSTANTLY. The huge gap is so showing and I'm not going to lie, the continuous refereeing s fucking exhausting.
They just don't get it, their needs are poles apart.
At 13 nearly 14 the teenage years are a huge challenge, at aged 3 nearly 4 the toddler tantrums & lack of sleep are a huge challenge.

Both kids were miracles, both were long awaited with multiple miscarriages (7 all in all) so to feel as Fed up as I do most days is sad.
Be warned, it's not all happy little families with 2 10 years in between, it holds unique challenges.

[MouseLove]

Just wait another few years and I'm sure they will be closer. We used to bicker too. My mum learnt to give us our own space and recognised that I needed more time while in high school.

[mummyharvey]

Now that I think about it while reading all your replies, I'm closer to my brother (7yrs apart) than I am my sister (2yrs apart). I love my sister obviously but we don't talk as often as my brother & I do & we used to argue all the time.

[jimijack]

I'm sure that you are right, "own space" is my survival. I separate them, it's the only way of having 2 minutes peace.

Feel dreadfully guilty that I don't have as much 1:1 with ds 1 as he had me & dh to himself for 10 years, now is never possible. Feel like a week goes by and I haven't spoken to him beyond barking orders at him to get him out of bed, showered, dressed and to clean up his stuff. Feel horrifically guilty all the time.

The strange attitude of people, I feel that they immediately think that it must be different fathers for each. I have been asked LOADS if it's the same dad.

[meganlousha]

me and my brother have 12 years apart. best thing.. you feel so much more closer. sounds odd but it's perfect x