Scared of what's to come...

[cockermum85]

Hi everyone, so I'm firmly in the TTC category, and am currently in my two week wait.

Thing is, I've just started an all consuming panic. The whole idea of being pregnant is frightening the life out of me. For no logical reason - and I feel daft because I might not even be pregnant yet. I can't put my finger on what's bothering me but I'm just so unsettled.

Getting ready to conceive took a long time because I was on anti-depressants for 5 years and it took me around 6months to come off them and I feel like I'm slipping back into my old ways.

To be honest I don't even know why I'm on here talking about it. I just can't keep it bottled up but i think people would think I'm being daft for feeling like this.

[nataliefruit]

Bless, you shouldn't feel daft at all and please don't think people will judge you because they really won't. Coming off antidepressants after quite a long time is a really big thing and having a baby is a really big thing too so don't be too hard on yourself. If you feel like the depression is starting to seep back in then speak to your doctor to see if there's anything they can recommend while you're pregnant because it's something so many people suffer from I'm sure they can do something to help.

Also, youre not the only one that is terrified of pregnancy - the whole idea freaks me out especially the kicking and moving around. I've just taken my last pill this morning and not even starting to ttc for a couple of months and I'm scared! So you really aren't on your own. Take care chick and don't be so hard on yourself! xx

[cockermum85]

Thanks for the reply! Unfortunately my doctors is rubbish which is why I ended up on such heavy medication to begin with. I suffered from anxiety and stress and the pills were the easy option. I'm so glad I'm off them. I think I might try to go back to yoga, deep relaxation was better than any of the drugs!

Good luck on your journey, I came off the pill in October and my first cycle was normal but was a little irregular after that... But seems to have settled again which is good.

Its really odd because when we were planning to start TTC I was really excited but now it's here that's disappeared. I just wish i had a crystal ball! 😁

[Junosmum]

We started ttc and I had a similar experience, even to the point of telling DH we were going to put it off for 6 months and booking a holiday to Peru, applying for a new job and making a drs appointment for contraception. 2 weeks later I found out I was pregnant. I was so happy! So it's normal and when your period turns up (if it does) you'll know if you are ready or not.

[AliceScarlett]

I had something similar the first day I came off contraception. Having a baby is a stressful time and you can control very little of it. Google "tolerating uncertainty"

[cockermum85]

Junosmum I think you are right, if I know either way I could probably settle better.

I say with my husband and a good friend last night and talked it all out. My friends dh was just listening quietly and right at the end said "are you just over thinking everything?" And you know he's spot on. Which seems like the tolerating uncertainty that you mention alicescarlett. I've never heard this term but I've googled a little and it's a bit of a light bulb moment. Can't believe od never thought of it like that before.

Thanks everyone

[AliceScarlett]

Glad it helped :) the unknown is scary and its easy to get into a habit of worry in the mistaken belief that that will give us more control but actually it just contributes to anxiety.