Mumsnet Talk

Hangover is by far the best excuse, too skint to pay for a taxi home so having to drive is second best. Third would be confiding in one person there and getting them to drink all your alcoholic drinks; VERY LAST is antibiotics as its the one everyone blames when hiding early pregnancy!

Alternatively eat stupidly healthy food, refuse anything fried, and say you're trying to lose weight on <<insert fad diet>>?

Two things. One, don't beat yourself up about the booze if you drink in moderation. I'm a long time ttc-er (yay me!) and have gone from drinking 3 bottles of wine a week to currently none. However, I genuinely have done dryathlon. And boy did it suck. I now allow (!) myself 6-8 units a week and I've cut down so gradually I don't miss it too much these days. I'd have found a dry January very hard once, but it's been fairly easy, except Friday nights. The evidence is mixed and boy have I done my research! Well, I've had two years to think about it. Some studies suggest that moderate (ie a bit) alcohol actually increases fertility. Others suggest less than 2 units boosts it. What studies don't show is that booze might get people in the mood for shagging and people who don't drink much are more likely not to smoke, probably eat more healthily and do more exercise. Such is statistics and research. It is difficult to see how a little bit of drinking could have much of an impact really. And in the case of my instant conception party hard friends - it really didn't.

Two. Excuses that have worked for me..
1) cystitis. No one ever questions that one.
2) dryathlon was a winner! No questions asked. Similarly, 'I felt I've been drinking too much' silences people
3) training for a run
4) blaming bikram yoga
5) saying I'd had the runs (I have no shame)
6) saying dh has bet me I couldn't give it up.
7) when all else fails, discrete binning of drink.

Trying to pass of non alcoholic drinks as booze and being designated driver and blaming antibiotics have all raised intense suspicion.

Now everyone knows I'm barren as a stone no one really cares!

Health kicks are good, but faking drinks is as well - I used to get lemonades and claim they were G&Ts when I was pregnant with my first.

My excuse is I've been doing dry jan and for feb I'm saying I'm going on a health kick!

Great minds think alike!

Oh sorry - Moomin got there before me! I look like such a copycat loser now!

Oooh - I just thought of another couple but they depend on the circumstances IYSWIM.

You could tell them you've been sick with a bug and are only just getting back on your feet (downside: people might avoid you and /or treat you delicately).

Or how about just saying that you were out the night before and have had a massive hangover all day and can't face hair of the dog?

Or that you've given up drinking? Eek!

Ha ha! Fair enough mycat but it's always worked for me. I guess I'm always so sick that people just believe me!

Hangover, dodgy tun, anti-biotics, health kick, lent, New Year resolution, training for half marathon... Or say nothing, drink lemonade and say it's a G+T.

Bearface has some good suggestions but I wouldn't advise the antibiotics one - it's a sure fire way to make everyone think you're pregnant. I gave myself away to friends using that one when I was pg with DS - hadn't realised it's the early pregnancy stock excuse for not drinking! I think the best way to avoid suspicion is to play on lightweight status or to accept drinks but dispose of them in the toilets etc so people don't realise you aren't drinking.

Yeah - I think you'll get away with it. And if all else fails, yes, I'd resort to pus and maybe even mention the word 'boil'.

Thanks Bearface!

I was suffering from Anxiety quite seriously just before we TTC which a lot of my friends know about, so I am tempted to naughtily allude to some mysterious medications (I was on beta-blockers briefly, and Diazepam) that have made me unable to drink - mwa ha ha.... and that might work, except all of my friends seem to be on some sort of mental health medication and might quiz me some more... Also if I were to pretend I were on Diazepam I think they might start backing away slowly (as it made me very 'high' acting when I was on it!).

I like the training idea actually... but might go simply with the old antibiotics for undisclosed unpleasantness, perhaps something about pus will make them cease questions?

Before I reply, I just want to point out I'm not in the habit of lying, but sometimes when you want to protect yourself from embarrassing convos and nosey people, there isn't really any other way.

I'd go for 'I'm on strong antibiotics' or steriod tablets (neither of these might be true, but no one has ever questioned it when I've used that excuse before).

I might also use the 'I'm in training' excuse. If they delve further I would say 'a marathon in a few months' - give me enough time to pull out in make belive world or get upduffed!

I also don't drink that much anyway, so I use the 'I'm a lightweight' excuse quite often. It is true that I am, but usually people don't question or push me further. If they do, I tell them that I'm likely to be sick on them after 3 drinks and they tend to lose interest then.

Good luck!

Right, despite the fact that science can't agree about whether it's okay to drink while TTC, and because I am now in the seventh cycle with no bun, I am seriously considering ruling out the booze altogether. Some people think that it cuts down your fertility, and if it turns out that DH and I are challenged in that area, then I'm willing to try anything to boost our chances.

The thing is, even though in previous cycles I have just cut down, all my friends leap down my throat if I refuse booze! Went to a house party a few months back, just had a glass of wine or two and then went onto soft drinks - knowing looks all around. Then a friend got the hump because she decided that I MUST be pregnant but was not telling her.
Q me having to go into the whole business with her, and feeling embarrassed and guilty.

Now I have TWO hen dos coming up in the next two weeks and wonder how the hell I am going to get away with not drinking, and fend of allegations of pregnancy. I don't want to talk about it to anyone, especially not in a group, on a big night out. The first, I guess I can just blend into the crowd and as long as I have a likely looking drink in my hand, no-one should notice.

The second hen is just me and one mate - What excuses can I give to be off the booze?

Any tips?