Scared of TTC after really tough pregnancy 5 years ago.

[vintagewarrior]

I just wondered if anyone else felt like this, and if so was your second pregnancy any better?

DS is 4.5, and the light of my life, I didn't think I would want a 2nd child, but it turns out I am quite good at this parenting lark, and would love him to have a sibling after ll.

DP is the most supportive partner I could dream of, no problems there.
I have just turned 40, so need to make my mind up pretty quickly.

0-6 months of my last pregnancy were text book, even enjoyable, no sickness or anything. Shoulder pain started around then, and just got worse and worse over time, to the point I struggled to eat, slept 1 hour per night if at all, became so desperate I spent most of the day in tears.

Saw doctors, who basically told me to get on with it, no pain releif possible except paracetamol which didn't even touch it. I was admitted into hospital 3 times and given gas & air (twice) and morphine (once) just to give me a break from the excruciating pain, and allow me to grab a little sleep.

I am so terrified of this happening again, I can't seem to commit to pregnancy.
Yet I am so broody I can't let go of the idea either.

FWIW I found giving birth a walk in the park compared to constant pain for three months!

I have investigated, limiting weight gain in pregnancy, bump bra's, any other pain relief available, but am still terrified. To add to that, I would also hate DS to see me upset like I was last time.

Has anyone experienced anything like this? Or had a better time 2 nd time around?

[BridgetandtheHairyBrigands]

Hello vintage I am sorry to hear what you went through during your pregnancy. It sounds like it was absolute hell on earth.

I had a textbook pregnancy and, what seemed initially, a textbook birth but I was left with a prolapsed uterus. Whilst, it isn't the same as your experience, I can relate to having deep fears over embarking upon another pregnancy and the physical consequences.

Unfortunately, pregnancy and birth - even in this day and age, and even if you've had problem-free experiences in the past - are inherently risky and it is up to each couple/woman whether the risks are worth it.

Like you, I can't let go of the desire to have another....even if it would be 'sensible' to stop at one from a health point of view.

[vintagewarrior]

Ah thanks Bridget, horrid isn't it?
Might speak to my G.P about my last experience, see if they can offer any advice.

My best friend had been TTC for 3 years, so I also feel a bit greedy and ungrateful!

[BridgetandtheHairyBrigands]

Hello vintage - I think a trip to the doctor is a very good idea.

It doesn't sound like you were ever given a proper explanation for the pain. If you know what caused it (for example the baby pressing on a particular nerve) you may have a better idea of the chances of it happening again.

It isn't greedy and ungrateful to be considering another child or to be scared of pregnancy. I'm sure you are very grateful for your DS. As you said in your first post, he is 'the light of your life'.

[Hoophopes]

Hi - you could also ask to see a more senior midwife when pregnant if unhappy with care.