Hey lovelies! I'm absolutely thrilled to say that baby is still doing well! Just amazed, this morning was awful as had a tiny bit of browny red discharge which totally freaked me out understandably and made us feel completely doomed, Dh & I drove there & sat in the waiting room in complete silence, totally expecting the worst, what an amazing & brilliant feeling to see our big healthy looking baby with a nice strong heartbeat! I literally got on my knees in thanks in the chapel afterwards! Think the spotting maybe to do with my ongoing constant thrush, aggravated by my twice daily progesterone pessaries tmi sorry! A small price to pay, but so irritating and sore..
Anyway, just to thank you all for your collective positivity, love you! An extra bit of good news is the midwife called this afternoon to say they checked my bloods and I've got immunity to chicken pox so another weight off my mind...! Finally my gorgeous girly is also much improved thank god, not 100% , but nowhere near as poorly as she was, so another big anxiety alleviated! Sounds likea lot of our little ones have been poorly over Christmas, poor babies, tis not fair, but at least there too young to really realise what their missing out on!
Anyway, sorry again for yet more 'me' posts! Will make up for it asap! xxxx
DH is working today and his 2nd job tonight So E and I are off to my mum and dads. Takeaway and film, record the hootenanny for DH. Decided the only NYear resolution I'm making is to do something that's been floating round FB for the last few days - get a jar and everytime something lovely or funny happens write it down and put the slip of paper in the jar. This time next year you can open and read about the last 12 months nice memories.
Hope you all have a wonderful evening whatever you do
That's a lovely idea Buddha. Think I might do that too. My resolution is to try to be less of a control freak and stop worrying about how I'm going to manage things before they happen - like going back to work full time in August. We're heading up to my brother's this evening for as long as DD2 lasts. We'll probably be home by 9pm! I don't mind as I get a bit maudlin at the bells anyway. I've been suffering from a very itchy skin rash for over a week now. It's driving me crazy. Was at the docs on Thursday, but stuff he gave me isn't helping and it's still spreading so I'm going back today. Not infectious cos none of the rest of the clan has it, but has really got me down and put a dampener on our longed-for 10 days family time. Fingers crossed for an itch-free New Year here.
Hope you all have a good time whatever you are doing. I wish you a healthy, happy and emotionally-stable 2013!!!fgrin]
buddha that's a lovely idea I may steal too! Have also seen the idea of writing different types of date night (ie movie night, dinner, etc) on lolly sticks in a jar then picking one out each wk to do with sh..quite like that idea. My resolution is to read more..actual books not my phone as have been really slack this yr. Also really want to learn crochet so YouTube here I come!
neeko sorry your hols have had a dampener too hope docs can sort you out. I had a horribly itchy rash all over my legs after having ds1 & a steroid cream plus masses of e45 cleared it up. Wow to going back to work full time.. will H be in school then? My ds1 starts playschool 2 morns a wk in Jan.. I'm looking forward to it & dreading it all at once
4ever brilliant news lady just so happy for you you've so nearly reached the magic 12 wks (though of course I know u still won't relax then)
We're majorly in the throes of sleep deprivation here been getting steadily worse over the last few weeks now I can barely see straight when I'm awake sh has this wk off too so we're now officially switching to formula & tackling a bit of tough love! Wish me luck..
Happy New year to all lovely ladies, hoping it's a very blessed one!
Rumours enjoy hootenanny & hope things are looking up for you now lovely?
Ongoing drama in the 4ever household, my poor girl took several steps back in the recovery process, seemed much improved on sat, emough for dh to take her to a friends ds birthday party, which she was exhausted from but enjoyed, and yesterday we went to my nans in worthing, a long day out, too much for both of us, knew she wasn't right but was so distressed and poorly on way home, and a terrible night, made all the worse by the fact I started spotting again yesterday afternoon for several hrs, I was sobbing my eyes out in total despair, was gonna go straight to epu this morning, but Summer was so so ill, holding her ears through the night as well, so we had to get her to the gp, thankfully my spotting seems to have stopped, please god, but gp checked me out too, cervix is closed thankfully, might be caused by my bad thrush, has taken swabs as well, epu are gonna see me on thurs for a scan so fingers xd, gp was fantastic with my poor Summer, who is just really suffering from this awful virus doing the rounds, no ear infection, but its a respiratory thing so everythings inflamed... So, we got home at 10am both went back to bed & slept on & off til 3pm... More cancelled plans, meant to be getting takeaway at mums but there you go... Roll on a happy healthy 2013!
Hey everyone <group hug til we go red in face from over-squeezing>
4ever what a week with illness, poor poor Summer and then some spotting to add to it, you must have been beyond despair. Glad GP was helpful and put you at ease. I'm sure it is just your thrush, the cervix takes a bit of a hit during pg and can be sensitive to the littlest of things. Staying home and cosy is probably best for you all xx
cupcake - you sound like me from May 2010 the relentless night feeds and bottle refusal. Good luck with transferring over, you'll feel like a new woman . I too have made a note to read more next year along with more cooking and taking up sewing .
neeko I should take a leaf out of your book to and not plan everything to wthe nth degree. We need to embrace our inner hippies man
Buddha - what a great idea, need to look out an empty jam jar. Its so easy to focus and dwell on the bad stuff that happens when in reality good/lovely things happen every day
rumours - Happy Hogmanay . We're just staying in and DS1 is hoping to see in the bells. We have our body weight in crisps and snacks laid out for the evening, bring it on .
Big waves to Barbie, Sabs, LBM, louey, monkey, moon and all our Emmsy's past and present
My desire for 2013 is to continue to be thankful. For my DH and boys, my family and my D friends who stood by me, stuck up for me and reassured me and I include all of you in that. Love you all xx
Happy new year blue, leaving a crappy one behind for you! Here's to New starts! Thanks, I hope formula will make a difference but I'm not sure.. time will tell. He is just such a lovely lovely baby though, everyone kept commenting how chilled & happy he is over Christmas so mustn't complain that the nights are tough..small price!
4ever you poor thing, sounds awful. Just horrible seeing our little ones suffer, hope she can sleep it off now. Ds1 is over his now but for 3 or 4 nights woke up soaked in sweat crying bless him hope go has eased your worries a bit but bring on Thursday!
Right, oldie here is off to bed, yaaawn.. happy new year to all, especially our missing ladies, we all think of you often x
happy new year lovelies - dh is back to work and dd2 back to nursery tomorrow. Christmas 2012 is feeling a bit over which is v sad as we've had a lovely one. DH had been majorly grumpy for months up to Christmas which was really starting to get me down but he managed to relax and not get cross which made for a lovely Christmas for all of us - long may it last. Most of the smiles were caused by our beautiful BB - babybelle or bonusbaby who is just so lovely and been so good.
I now have 2 days with the older dc's to chill which should be lovely and then we may go away for a night at the weekend - i'm keen to try a family room at the YHA in the new forest.
Hope 2013 brings us all we desire - for me, it is for DH's happy side to stay .
Happy New Year girls! Thought Id pop in to say hello and wish you all the best for 2013. Hope you all enjoyed Christmas and New year.
Sorry to have been awol for so long, I tried a couple of times to post but I never know what to say. Thank you to those of you who sent me private messages, and sorry for not responding to them, and thank you to you all for still thinking of me when Im not around. I think of you all every day and I lurk when I feel brave enough to.
I owe you an explanation of why Ive been gone so long, a lot has happened so I will try to keep it brief .. (!)
When we went back to the consultant in September, we were told that the next stage for us was ivf, but that the nhs couldnt fund it (dont want to go in reasons why, hope you understand). Obviously we can have the treatment if we pay for it ourselves. Was a bit floored, totally unexpected, but the honeymoon wasnt far away so we just focussed on that. Had an absolutely amazing time on honeymoon, was just what we needed, got spoilt rotten by the hotel staff, dh and I just enjoyed each others company without worrying about anything or anyone else. Got back and I made an appointment with the gp in despair to see if they could help. Saw a lovely lady who took complete pity on me, wrote a letter to a fertility clinic on our behalf to see if they would consider funding or part funding treatments still waiting to hear, need to chase that up. She offered me anti-depressants which I declined, but she referred me for counselling. Have been on my assessment which was horrible, and am now on a waiting list. Need to chase that one up too.
Dh lost his job in November and hasnt managed to find anything yet. Am worried about my mum who has left her partner and started a new job, has been staying with us every other weekend since November. I had a major run in at work last month with my old boss (now doing a different job in the same business) who is a complete cow and we have always hated each other, but she tried to get me into trouble and bizarrely everyone took her side, when I thought I was trusted and respected at work, Ive been there for 7 years! Final straw for me, so am looking for a new job too. Its been horrible for the last year now if Im honest, but out of loyalty and probably stupidity Ive stayed, but I cant do it anymore. They absolutely take the piss, and I dont get anything in return.
Then stupidly, am ridiculously upset at my laptop having stopped working on Monday, sounds silly but its my escape from it all, and dont really have spare cash to be throwing at a new one. Also lost some photos and some other documents, dh managed to rescue the majority of it, but am kicking myself for not backing it all up, so my message to you all is please please if you havent done so, back up your precious memories and anything else important to you.
Lots of little things really I suppose, on top of trying to deal with the bigger things, feel like Ive lost the plot and everything is against us. It will be 5 years this year since we first started trying, and I cant believe that we are still in exactly same the position. Really struggling to just maintain a kind of normal life when nothing seems to be going our way. I dont expect an easy life, but a bit of a break occasionally would be nice. So I find it very hard to come on here, at one point I found it helpful and it kept me sane and I dared to wish and hope, but now its all gone out of the window, I feel completely isolated, I cant join in with any stories, I cant reassure the medium panters, I cant even reassure the small panters because its a job and a half to look after myself these days. I hope this makes some kind of rambly sense and you know that I dont stay away because I want to, its because I have to.
Wishing you all happiness and health for 2013 and more bfps where required.
Oh moon so to read your post and what a rough time you've been having what with work and losing precious memories from your laptop, on top of what must of been the most almighty blow hearing you couldn't get Ivf on the nhs, I so so hope your part funding comes through, hon if I was rich Id pay for you myself, my heart bleeds for you that much, you've been through such a long hard battle these past 5yrs, if there's any justice in this world you'll get your funding, and your much deserved dream... So glad you posted, you're always in our thoughts and wishes for your dream to come true, totally get needing to stay away to preserve your sanity, but we are all here whenever you need us.. Xxxx
Waves to everyone else... I've a scan tomorrow at 2.10pm, will officially be 12wks, very nervous after the spotting and stuff... Please send some collective positivity south London way if you could? Much appreciated as always... If all goes well (please god) will be last scan at Epu as Nuchal scan is booked next fri at Fetal meds <gulp>
Baby is still doing well thank god! Absolutely thrilled, jumping for joy & pinching myself in disbelief! 12wks today! Thanks so much for all your lovely tx & support as always! Nuchal scan next Friday, as said to Buddha, that's my last big miscarriage memories milestone cos only Summer got past the 13wk mark.... eek.. Xxxx
Moon Goodness me I'm not sure how you have remained sane through all that has happened over the last few months. I really hope you can get somewhere with the part funding, and fingers crossed you can both get amazing jobs, you two deserve a break in 2013 x 4ever Congrats again on another happy and successful scan, roll on next Friday
Oh my gosh moon I'm so to read your post. I can't believe what has happened with your work, the ivf, the laptop...everything. I'm so sorry. Just want to say thank you so much for sharing that stuff with us though; it would be the easiest thing to just disappear and not want to talk to us but thank you for taking the time to write all that stuff down. I hope it helped in some small way. Completely understand you feeling out of place here...I'm sure we'd all feel the same in the same position. I just wish there was something we could do to make it easier on you somehow but I know it will always be hard for you to hear about babies and pregnancies there are just no words for how bloody unfair this all is but I want you to know I'll still keep praying for your miracle.
4ever just so pleased for you. Bet you can't believe you're graduating away from the epu. Have you started telling people outside of family now or are you waiting a bit?
Anyway, also wanted to share with you all this amazing video. A good friend of ours from church made it - he is an incredibly talented wordsmith. It's a spoken word/poem on infant loss and really quite moving. Hope you like it. I may post it on the miscarriage boards too as I think it's amazing.