TO TTC or not to TCC

[Eve34]

Sorry I don't know where to put this and I know only we can make this decision but some advise would be nice.

I am 38. DP is 27. We have DS who is 4. We have been togethe for 7 years. DS as with all children was hard work but is a pleasure. We love him to bits.

I had terrible PND and it drove us apart for a while and it was a horrible time. We do not want to experience that again.

I really don't want DS to be an only child. I can't put it into words why.

I know we would be better parents and kinder to each other having seen the pitfalls before - arguing over lie in's/time off etc. We have finally found a great balance that works for the whole family.

I am not getting any younger, sadly.

DP blows hot and cold as do I. Life it great at the moment I don't want to put a strain on the family that we can't cope with but know we need to make a decison sooner rather than later.

HELP ME :-)

Many thanks

[weimy]

Hi there!

Were you diagnosed with pnd by the dr? If you were I'm sure that there would be more support for you this time & it might not even happen this time :)

I think going hot and cold is normal.

[Eve34]

Dear weimy

was under the mental health team and and Anti D's it was so hard, a mixture of new mum, unhelpful Dp and life. I finally got through it after 3 years. Not sure DP would cope if it happened again. Arhhhhhh if I was just a bit younger .....bum :-)

[weimy]

Ah,

I'm not sure then, my DH was not overly supportive with my mild depression but I can't imagine how tough it was for you. Does he understand what your fears are ?

[glimmer]

Is adoption something you would consider? - Just brainstorming.

[DreamingOfABump]

just do it. previous pnd is a sad reason not to have the family you dream of. Havig had depression you and partner have a heads u and will recognise if things are becoming a problem. Make sure ur midwife is aware and meet your health visitor early so u have a network in place,. keep close track on your mood during pregnancy. plenty of people go on to have subsequent pregs not affected by pn d
xxxxx

[Eve34]

Thank you all for the kind thoughts. Would love to adopted so maybe need to explore that as an option, but know how hard it is to adopted younger children.

Dreaming of bump thank you, that is what I think. We have leant so much with DS. DP use to g out fishing all weekend and leave me holding the baby, he has finally realised that he had to compromise and we have an excellent balance now.

I also know that if it happened again I would tell people to help me rather that suffer silently.

Thank you all :-)

[hopefulgum]

I don't know if it helps to know this, but I had awful pnd with my first, but went ahead and had another babe. The second was such an easy baby and I didn't have pnd at all. I think I was mentally prepared for it and got a bit more support around me.

I had to be talked into the second one by DH.It was such a delightful experience that I went on to have another three after that.

I hope that helps.

[Eve34]

Wow 5 children that is fantastic :-) Glad it worked out well for you.