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Children's health

Selective Mutism

4 replies

twotimes · 03/02/2010 14:19

My little girl is 2 (3 in April) and after watching the bbc programme on Selective Mutism on Tuesday, I'm worried that she may suffer from it. I know what this sounds like "over enthusiastic mom pinning ailments on her child" but I've been worried there were issues before this.

She has been at nursery since september and hasn't spoken to any of the staff. She won't even tell them if she needs the toilet or has wet herself. At the most they have said she points at the toilet. I know she likes nursery because she always runs in and whinges about it on her day off.

She has never spoken to any of my friends although has spoken in front of them (as long as they are not looking at her). She has never spoken to my aunty even though we see her every sunday although she does speak to and play with her children (again as long as she is not aware of my aunty looking at her). I could go on but it's pretty much the same. However, she won't shut up at home! Her language is excellent for her age and she talks the most out of everybody. She will speak to her grandparents, her friends and some other children.

Does anybody else have any experience of selective mutism?

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RatherBeOnThePiste · 03/02/2010 17:30

I had a selective mute girl in my reception class many moons ago and I used to dream about her talking to me. She never spoke to anyone including the other children. At register time we came to an arrangement where she had to let me know she was there, so she would make eye contact and smile. It was an extraordinary situation, even if she fell over she didn't cry with any noise. Once she had a cold and a cough - and that was the only time in school I heard sound from her. Her family once secretly taped her speaking at home, and until that point I had no idea that she couldn't pronounce her rs properly, and used to call her best friend wobert

It was so weird but I used to 'listen' to her read, she would read in her head, but somehow she was very able to communicate how she was getting on, and if she got stuck. When she went up to the Junior school which in essence was a separate school, she spoke from Day 1 grrrrrrr, but we were all delighted too. She never looked back. It was though she need a fresh start, and looking at those girls on the television prog, I am so glad she did.

At present I know a girl who is 3 who also started nursery in September, and hasn't spoken up till very recently, but her general communication skills are good. She is beginning to speak if she doesn't think about it, and it was marvellous to hear her voice, albeit a whisper. I think she has felt very shy, and needed to build up strong relationships with other adults before having the confidence to speak, it was too personal for her to open up. She is very happy at school

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BlessThisMess · 03/02/2010 20:22

TwoTimes, it does rather sound like it. The diagnostic criteria are something like "speaks in certain situations (normally home) but consistently fails to speak in others, has been going on for at least one month, and the situation is affecting the child's social or educational functioning". I would say your DD falls into those criteria, but how absolutely fantastic for you to find out about it while she is so young. The prognosis is extremely good if you can start helping her now - I only wish I had intervened that early on instead of waiting till my DD was about 6, because I didn't know what the situation was.

If you go to the SMIRA website (www.selectivemutism.co.uk) you will find lots of useful information. The important thing is to print off loads of info, give it to the nursery so that they don't put any pressure on her to speak. The key is to lower her anxiety as much as possible, and then speech is much more likely to happen. There is more to it than that, but really with the right intervention things should sort themselves out in a matter of months. It might be useful for you to contact your local speech therapy department and find out if anyone's been trained in SM. Coverage is very patchy, but you might be fortunate!

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Veritythebrave · 03/02/2010 20:34

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

twotimes · 04/02/2010 11:44

Thank you so much that information is very helpful, I've just looked at the simra website and it has helped immensely. I've contacted my health visitor and she is going to speak to a paediatrician about it. But I think I will look for a speech therapist in the area and have a word with sure start also.

Lots of help, don't feel so down and hopeless now . Thanks guys x