i feel like a terrible mother

[PavlovtheCat]

DS had his first lot of injections today. And I feel terrible. He cried so badly, and now he is unsettled and his cry is pitiful and desperate. i have never seen him in pain and i feel bad. He has red rosy cheeks and wants to be held constantly.

I feel like i should be protecting him from pain and distress and what i have actually done is the opposite. I watched on while he had a needle and liquids inserted into him. He is only 8 weeks old .

I know, i know, it is for his own good, it is protecting him from harm etc. But how do we know it is? We go along and do things like this because we are told it is good for us in the long run and we do it without question (mostly), like lemings off a cliff. Or look into it a bit and read some research that we do not know for sure is not fixed to get us beleiving we are doing the right thing.

Oh, rambles. I obviously am not prepared to take the chance, hence he had his jabs. But i feel rotten. Absolutely rotten.

[BrokenBananaTantrum]

You are a brilliant mother. If you were a crap mother you would not be worrying like this. Don't beat yourself up

[BelleDeChocolateFluffyBunny]

We do our best for them, it's all we can do. I'd rather my son had 1 innoculation then 100 injections because he caught measles or Hib. Ds had pneumonia when he was 8 months old, I had to hold him whilst they put a cannula in his foot, it was so hard not to cry, it was what he needed though. I had to trust that the staff caring for him knew what they were doing. The research into jabs is all over the place, especially on the web. There's arguments for and against. I work for the NHS, they don't do anything unless it's necessary though.


Did you get your foot sorted out?

[daisyj]

Oh, Pavlov, it's horrid, isn't it? And you can't win, because even doctors don't agree on what they'd do for their own children. I genuinely believe you have done the right thing, though, if that's any help, and it's what I did for my dd, but it feels awful to cause them pain. No real advice here, but just wanted to offer sympathy. All I can say is it was some comfort when I realised how much dd loves Calpol . Have you tried any? Also, our nurse suggests a pre-emptive dose - maybe worth trying for the next round of jabs. And also, if you didn't do it this time, breast or bottle as the needle goes in can be a really good distraction. Hope your ds settles soon.

[psychomum5]

aww, don;t feel rotten. tis really horrid when we do what we feel is the best thing for our babies and then they react like this. us mummies feel guitly so much of the time anyway, and this is another guilt-fest right here.

give him calpol (he is allowed, I know my HV always recommended it), and lots of TLC. that is all he needs and wants.

I had jabs just before xmas, for various reasons, and I have to say, the soreness around the site of the jabs was horrid, I have every sympathy.

[Zoonose]

I am sure, as most others I think will say, the diseases you are protecting him from are potentially far, far worse - fatal, in some cases. I am one of those to be vaguely suspicious about what we are told to do etc and it is horrible having to hold them and let them have their immunisations (my DS is 22 months so I have been through lots of them in the past 1.5 years) but it is the right thing, he will settle down and it is simply your maternal instinct to protect him conflicting with a necessary evil - one that you are forced to comply with as a mother. If we did not have these immunisation programmes I am quite sure infant and child mortality would be far higher. Try and see it in the big picture. We had lots of jabs when we were little: we are fine. But I do feel your pain!

[PavlovtheCat]

psycho when his leg is touched he squeals and screw his face up and cries so yes i would agree that the injection site is sore for him too. He had a real tear earlier! He now has calpol in him, (more artificial things to cross into his blood stream!) and he has now passed out after a milk fest, tummy down on my chest, hands on boobs protectively!

You would not guess this is my second baby would you? DD is 3.5 now and i forgot it was like this and as soon as i watched his little face crumble as the needle broke his skin i remembered and it was just like he was my first. It does not get easier!

I feel like i do not want anything not milk related in him. I do not want wetwipes on his bottom, or product on his skin, or virus' in his blood, or medicine either! just good ol' milk.

Thanks for the sympathies everyone! I shall get over myself!

[psychomum5]

am glad he is settled for the moment.

you are so right tho, it very definately does not get easier.....even baby #5 getting jabbed was no easier. if anything, it gets harder each time as you carry the memories of all the others with you for each one, so I rememebered 4 others with DS2's jabs!

[BelleDeChocolateFluffyBunny]

Pavlov, how's your foot?

[winnybella]

Can I suggets Emla patch or similar? You put them on an hour before injection and it doesn't hurt them at all or much less depending on the shot.
I did that for second and third round and the difference was huge- dd screaming first time, and at the later times- none or slight wince and whimper for few seconds.
We all feel bad! DD was in hospital when 3 weeks old, had blood taken three times, I was crying, it was so horrible. But in the end it's necessary.

[PavlovtheCat]

Belle get this. My foot is absolutely fine how weird is that? !! It is so weird i almost want to go see the gp anyway! I half expect it to be painful again with no warning, but i have also stopped wearing my welly boots. I have no idea if it had anything to do with it at all? But for some reason my brain has decided it has! Thank you for asking.

winny oh i shall look out for those...do you put them onto the leg where the injection goes? Sounds like a magic patch!

Well, DS eventually went to sleep at 11pm, after the calpol settled him he was awake for ages smiling and being himself again! He slept until 4am (5hours lovely!) and from then on was grimbly and unsettled, and threw up at about 7am. But think that is largely to do with wanting comfort feed all morning. He is now asleep and much more peaceful. Think we have broken the back of it.