Episiotomy-How long til you felt "normal" again?Warning...tmi alert

[turtle23]

I had a rather large episiotomy 8 weeks ago(I know everyone says that, but even the midwife on day 4 said it looked rather nasty) and still haven't "put it to the test" as it were. I had two stitches pop on the vaginal end of it so it only stopped bleeding 10 days ago(the cut, that is). It is very lumpy along the scar and still uncomfortable to the touch. When will it feel better? Did anyone else have the fear of splitting with sex this long after? DH has been understanding, but is dropping not so subtle hints...eek

[JamInMyWellies]

Go see the doctors and get it checked out. In the meantime either tell DH to go and take a running jump off a very high cliff or give him a BJ.

[missblythe]

If it's still uncomf to teh touch, it's still going to be v. uncomf if you're actually having sex, no?

Buy him a jazz mag and tell him to hang on until the GP gives you the all clear.

[missblythe]

Actually, if you tell him that you are concerned that sex may cause you to split open and start bleeding, I think he might stop asking!

[turtle23]

GP has said it looks ok, and I know it probably wont split, just paranoid. Am going to have to bite the bullet sometime. Just wondered how long til the lumpy and uncomfortable bit goes?

[MrsTittleMouse]

It wouldn't hurt to get a second opinion on the scar. Most epi scars heal well, but mine didn't and I wish that I had pushed a bit harder earlier on when I was being fobbed off by the GP as there are more treatment options then.

[MegBusset]

Took about 9 weeks before I felt ready to try sex, and even then it took a few tries before we managed penetration and a few weeks until it wasn't painful. This is pretty normal, I think, but get your GP to check it out if you're worried. Otherwise I would get DH to sort himself out for now, take things very slowly and a glass of wine helps

[Minniethemoocher]

I had a nasty 3rd degree tear, it took ages to heal and it was 3 months before DH and I got "down and dirty"!

[turtle23]

Glad I'm not alone!

[Ambi]

After a bad tear and stitches it took til about 4 months until painless during sex. ( dd is only 5 and half months now) I remember thinking that it'd never heal right but seems fine now.

[EssieW]

took about 6 months I think before we did the deed. I'd felt normal from about 3 months after.

[funbags]

mine finally closed over after 6 weeks, the scar goes as far as my bum cheek. Did the deed after 8 week check - very gingerly with pently of lube and have to say I was shitting it. was not the best shag ever by a long stretch but felt a certain sense of acheivement that i had actually managed it -VERY GENTLY. the scar was raised and pink for a long time but has faded to silvery white and is much flatter over time (DD is now 2). It still aches a bit if i do a load of excercise or heavy lifting but not to the extent that I'm concerned about having anything else done to it. For a long time used to feel odd sensations - i think nerve endings growing back -HV said they take ages to grow and there are still parts of it that are numb now but again not enough to bother me. Despite all this pelvic floor in pretty good nick - I can feel a difference (slight), but DH reckons it feels the same as before form his POV.

[blondgirl]

I made my poor hubby wait 6 months!!! Had a rather nasty epesiotomy and really couldn't bear the thought of sex, but after going out on the works Christmas do and drinking a shed load of wine, I came home and jumped on him! Don't know why I was so worried, it was fine and didn't hurt a bit. Didn't make him wait quite as long after DD but I was still bricking it and had to have large amounts of booze beforehand!

[turtle23]

Thank god for mumsnet. Thank you, this has really helped.

[mellyonion]

only do it if you feel ready, not to keep your hubby sweet......

a little alcohol to relax and lots of lube, and a promise to take things ever so gently is whats needed..... be careful though...if your scar is still weeping or bleeding, you should really get it looked at again...

good luck...hopefully its not as sore as you may think it will be...

[FrannyandZooey]

Mine took a long time before I was able to try - I mean, several months, not weeks
however all well now and lumpiness and soreness gone
there are lots of other things you can do in the meantime, I would concentrate on those until it does not feel sore anymore
tell your dh if you try and it hurts it will probably put you off for ages! tell him to be patient for a bit longer

[laura032004]

I was in the months camp too I think. The first time involved lots of wine, a good dose of KY jelly and a very gentle DH. I made sure that he was 'well primed' so he didn't spend too long actually inside IYKWIM.

At 8 weeks, I know I felt that things would never ever be the same down there, and that I would have to have some corrective surgery. I had quite a long cut, which couldn't all be stitched as the skin kept tearing I was left with a 'gaping hole' (I will never forgive the MW that used that phrase when doing a check) which took a while to heal. However, at 6 months, it felt the same as it always had. There is a slight discomfort during sex, but nothing terrible.

[mellyonion]

wanted to add too, that all three times after having a baby, we waited MONTHS! and on speaking to friends about it too....the ones who waited days (wtf??) and a few weeks were very much in the minority....

[turtle23]

Days? There are people who did it DAYS after? Are these the same people whose babies "sleep thru" from birth and "don't really like chocolate?" (in other words...liars...)

[TeenyTinyTorya]

I took about 6 weeks to heal over roughly, but my epi burst and got infected a few days after birth. It was fine after about 3 months.