C sections and Dads

[ImPinkThereforeImSpam]

My bf is pg with her 3rd.Having had the previous 2 by CS she's been advised to have this one the same way. She knows what to expect. However it's her DHs 1st child and he doesn't know what to expect. She has only experienced it from the female perspective. This situation is not covered in any of the literature/pre-natal classes as CSs are only touched on briefly, most childbirth classes seem to assume that a CS will be as a last resort. Can anyone point me in the right direction for something that might help them?

[pollyblue]

I had a section, I don't remember coming across anything written or designed specifically from the partner's point of view but i know my dh found the chat we had with the anaethetist just before my section very useful as he explained in a blow-by-blow way exactly what would happen, when and how. Perhaps her partner could go along with her to see her consultant and ask him/her to explain the process?

[jessikart]

My SIL had an elective section and my brother was totally in the dark about what would happen as no one seemed to think to involve him! I lent them my copy of 'What to expect when you're expecting' and he said it was great from the POV of the male as it gave lots of detail (although nothing really about the emotional side of things).

I guess a combination of the technical (ie what really happens during a section) and a chat with your friend about how the emotional side of it should cover it? Also what polly said about attending any consultant appointments!

[beautifuldays]

tell him not to look up at the big metal light above the operating table. he may see somehting he wish he hadn't

[pinkyminky]

I've had an emcs and a elcs with DH present. He said they explained very carefully what was going to happen (whilst I was having the canula and spinal put in), and what his role would be- he was given the baby straight sfter they were checked over, passed them to me for a bit and then he helped with bathing and dressing etc. whilst they stitched me up.
Could he attend her 36 week appointment, where they book the section with the consultant- he could ask lots of questions.
jessikart- I feel really sorry for your brother. My Dh was given lots of support and had a definite role (as explained above). I think it was very important for him, emotinally to be involved, as he would have been had they been 'normal' deliveries.

[bigcar]

I had an emergency cs, so no time to prepare! Dh did look rather panicked when they handed him a set of surgical scrubs and told him to get changed, he wasn't expecting that. He did later comment that he thought he looked like George Clooney , made all the theatre staff snigger!

[SquonkTheBeerGuru]

I had an elcs, which should have all gone to plan as far as dp was concerned, but went a little bit pear shaped.

I had my pre-med and dp was told that he couldn't be in the room while I had the epidural, but they would come and get him as soon as I had had it. Unfortunately, there was an emergency and I was kept waiting for half an hour or so. But nobody told dp, so he was worried and panicking that something had gone horribly wrong.

When they did let him in, though, they did the op, and asked if he wanted to go to the other side of the screen to see ds being born (he didn't) They handed ds straight to dp and left him to bathe him and dress him whilst they stithced me up.

It was a lovely time for dp, as I wasn't even there, so he got to spend some really nice time on his own with ds.

Obviously, as it is your bf's dp's first, they may not give the baby straight to him, and he may feel uncomfortable dressing and bathing the baby, etc, but it's something for them to think about.

Dp did feel that after that he was ignored again, though - I was in the hospital and he was a "visitor" rather than a part of what ds and I were (iykwim)

[Poledra]

I would be surprised if they didn't give the baby straight to your bf or her husband. My (our) first baby was born by emergency c-section and I also had to have a GA. DH was hustled back out of the room when they decided I needed a GA, but they brought the baby straight out to him outside the theatre (a midwife waited with him, btw, so he wasn't left alone to stress!). They did say to dh 'Don't put her down, she's not tagged yet'! DH then sat with baba for the next hour or so while they stitched me up, then while he waited for me to wake up.

[ImPinkThereforeImSpam]

Thanks for the feedback peeps. I'll share it with her.xx

[Buckets]

I had my sister in for my elective CS (first was under GA so DH kicked out anyway.) This time he thinks he's brave enough to come in so Sis is off the hook (unless she fancies it in which case he's happy to back down!)

[whomovedmychocolate]

Well he can watch one online if he thinks it'll help!

anatomy.med.umich.edu/surgical_videos/cesarean.html

NB we both got a good look at my innards as they lowered the screen for delivery and it slipped off (oopsy). Luckily DD's screaming distracted us from the worst of the gore

[calsworld]

I was an emergency CS and DH was fascinated! He watched everything, including the knife going down..he would have watched the whole thing if bump hadn't been in the way and I hadn't been throwing up at the other end !

I think they (DH's / DP's) just cope..and that the theatre staff look after them quite well - by the time I got in after having the epidural (or whatever it was) he was best friends with the lot of them!