Realities of being at home post c-section with a toddler and a baby and no help

[BroccoliSpears]

I'm hoping that a couple of people who had c-sections would be kind enough to share their post-birth experiences.

I've been told I have a low-lying placenta. There's a very good chance it will move in time, but it would be silly not to think about how I might manage if it doesn't and I have a section.

DP will have a fortnight at home to help me, and then after that I'll be on my own during the day with the baby and my little girl who will be 2. Will I manage? I don't have any family to help. I do have friends in the area but all are either expecting babies in the new year, or they work.

I'm clueless about the realities of healing after a section. What was your experience?

[MrsBoo]

It will be fine - just take it easy, and dont be a supermum. I recovered very quickly both times, and didn't have any help at all. DH had knee surgery the first time, so was on crutches and no help, and didnt get any time of the second time.
Positive attitude will help, rather than thinking you wont be able to manage (IMO)

[karen999]

I was absolutely fine after my C-section. Hardly any pain and was back to normal within about a week. I was only in hospital for two days with my second c section. I had dp helping me for two weeks also and by the time he went back to work I was doing all the normal things...

[lisalisa]

Message withdrawn

[3JinglesandnoBells]

Broccoli, it really depends on the individual of how you will feel etc....!
Whilst I hated having a C-section with my 3. child and it was more painful afterwards, compared to natural Birth, it wasn't THAT painful at all. And aslong as you try to take it easy, you will be fine.
I had ys when my ms was 21m old and he was an active Tot...I think you just manage!
However, if you can afford it, maybe you could get a Postnatal Doula, to help out a bit.

[lisalisa]

Message withdrawn

[ivykaty44]

I was 25 and two weeks after my c section I was walking 2 miles into town with baby in the pram.

[lisalisa]

Message withdrawn

[lisalisa]

Message withdrawn

[TuttiFrutti]

Go through all the times you lift your toddler during a normal day and write them down. Then, next to each one, write an alternative way of doing it without lifting - so, for examply, you could change nappies on the floor instead of lifting them onto a changing table.

I bought one of those low wooden chairs so that my ds could sit in it at mealtimes, so I wouldn't need to lift him into his highchair.

The only one I couldn't really manage was the bath, so I had help at bathtime (my dh or my mum) for the first 4 weeks.

[3JinglesandnoBells]

Hm, I was 34 when I had the Emergency C-section and well, we were living on top of a hill, and I had to push a doublebuggy up that hill everyday pretty much straight away...must admit, I really didn't find the physical side of things to bad...but I do have a very high painthreshold, I think...

I do have a friend though, that had a C-section with her first and she was only young and it took her a long time to get over it, but she does admit that she is a bit of a wimp with pain, etc...so, it didn't come as a surprise to her that she would find it difficult.

[LiegeAndLief]

lisalisa - FIVE c-sections?!! I've had one and thought that was enough

I think lifting your daughter might be the hardest bit. I lifted a four month old baby 2 or 3 weeks after my cs and really felt it, it was quite painful. Also vividly remember making cheese on toast on day 7 and having to sit down for half an hour because I was so exhausted! Was definitely not back to normal after 2 weeks and was 27 so not that ancient... If you really can't get any help lisalisa is right, you need lots of forward planning. You don't know how your cs will go - hopefully it will be great and you'll be back to normal in no time, but you can't rule out the possibility of infection or just slow healing.

[karen999]

I think it is like most things - everybody's experiences will differ. Some will take longer to get over a section than others. The main thing is that you take it easy and try and look after yourself. For me personally my 2 sections were fine - quick recovery and hardly any pain. I just made sure that I took my time with things. And let the housework wait!!

[shortshafe]

I was 26 when I had my CS and couldn't walk to the end of the road for the first 3 weeks!! I came out of hospital on day 4 and could walk around the house and up and down stairs slowly without pain! The physio advised me not to lift anything heavier than the new baby, so you definately need to work out alternative ways of dealing with your toddler. I used to start off feeling ok then feel progressively worse as the day wore on - I found prepping lunch (sandwich usually) just after breakfast really helpful - so all I had to do was get stuff out of the fridge. I also froze loads of evening meals during my maternity leave! Definately rest whenever you can and forget the small stuff - housework etc. Keep yourself and the babies rested and fed - everything else can wait a month. After the first month I started feeling loads better, I managed a couple of hours gentle pondering round the shops when lo was 4 weeks old. Take it easy, prepare and get as much help as possible from anyone willing ot give it! Good Luck

[BetsyBoop]

I'm there at the moment - a 4wk old DS & DD who is 2 on Thursday.

DH took 2 weeks off work & then I was on my own from Mon am to Fri pm & we've been doing ok. (like you no family close & friends either have their own toddlers/babies or work)

Some things slip - eg baths for DD are confined to weekends at the moment, but it's not the end of the world.

Just take things easy & only do what you feel comfortable with & you'll be fine.

[BroccoliSpears]

Thank you so much everyone for your thoughts, particularly lisalisa for all your experiences.

It's encouraging to read the positive stories from those of you who were cheerfully playing volleyball the next day (!) and it's particularly helpful to hear from people who found things harder - all advice regarding planning (food / toddler) has been duly noted. I'll get myself prepped up to the eyebrows. Will also be quite craven about accepting any offers of help, should I get any (if they don't mean it they shouldn't offer!)

I've found this thread so useful, so if anyone else has any thoughts to add, please do.

[manamana]

I'm having an elective cs this time around and was worried about coping with toddler (ds will be 2 and a half). I have actually been suffering really badly from spd and been signed off work which has bizarrely helped a lot with preparing ds. I haven't been able to lift or carry him for the past 2 months and haven't been able to play properly with him/go to the park etc. I would avise starting to stop doing things for your toddler before the baby arrives so that they have a chance to get used to it and don't associate it with the arrival of the baby. Ds climbs up into his high chair/car seat on his own, climbs up/down stairs with me behind him in case of slippages!, climbs in and out of bath, we watch more tv than normal but also read more books and do more drawing, he understands that mummys legs are poorly and i can't do things like normal. He tries to 'help' a lot which is v sweet. Luckily he goes to nursery which means he gets his running around time and when his dad is home and not DIYing at the weekend he takes him out to the park but his life has changed a lot and he seems to be fine with it - makes me a bit sad but its not for ever.

[lisalisa]

Message withdrawn

[snowleopard]

I was an idiot when I came home after mine - after 5 days in hospital I fancied I could take brand-new baby in the pram and pootle along to a friend's BBQ down the road with DP. We should all have stayed at home - I was exhausted and shellshocked and could hardly walk back. Great advice on here - prepare, prepare, prepare, let the house go to rack and ruin as far as possible and go to bed any chance you can get. Ask DP to give you a good start by arranging for you to have as much rest as possible for those few days tha he is off - that will set you up for a good recovery.

[vitomum]

my toddler ds was still sleeping in his cot when i had a c-section. i had a 3 step step-ladder for him to climb into his own cot with.

also, resign yourself to the fact that your toddler will watch more CBeebies and eat more fish fingers than usual and do NOT feel guilty about it.

[icanneverhavetoomanybaubles]

everyones different. I've had 3 x cs and had no problems with recovery and childcare.

Important to note though you can feel well and pain free and carry on as normal, really easily overdo it and then pay the price for hours/days afterwards. Do the bare minimum for a few weeks at least.

Also STAND UP STRAIGHT!!!! afterwards it will be bit sore when you do it first ( give yourself a couple of minutes to ease into it when you get out of bed, shoulders back, buttocks in, head up ) but gets those muscles back into shape, if you hobble around it really doesn't help in the long run

[GloriaInEleusis]

I had a two year old when DS was born by section. DH took two weeks off,and then he was back at work and it was just me and the kids in the house. And DH works away Mon-Thursday so he wasn't home for evening help either. I was fine. I managed to refrain from the urge to drive while he was home. But that 3rd week I was soooooo bored and so got in the car and went to a day time meet up with my ante natal class from when I had DD. I was fine. I maybe wasn't running up and down the garden. But I was certainly walking around, pushing the pram, getting both kids in and out of the car, and so on...

How far are you? If you are only say half way through your pregnancy the chances of the placenta moving up are very good.