Hospital birth - what's it going to be like?

[Katy44]

I'm pregnant for the 1st time and am 30 weeks today.
I'm curious to know what it will be like giving birth in hospital (I'm under midwife care, 'normal' pregnancy so far).

I've been doing a lot of reading about active births, staying mobile, and even giving birth on all fours or squatting. Although I won't know how I'll feel until I get there, it's something I'd really like to try, assuming everything is going well.

My DH imagines it will be like you see in films, woman lying on her back in hospital bed, lots of wires and drips etc. Although that's fine if it's necessary, I'd be really upset if that happened to me because it was the 'way to do things'.

How much does this depend on your hospital? How much say will I have in this (bearing in mind I'm not naturally assertive) - would I have to fight to be allowed to do this, and then feel as though I'm causing a fuss?

Thanks for any advice!

[Iklboo]

Chat to your MW. Hospitals vary but most these days realise that the woman has the right to decide how she wants her labour to go ahead. You should have a 'birth plan' in your medical notes that you can complete and take with you to the hospital.
Don't rule anything out. I was adamant I didn;t want an epidural but apparently my labour was coming on too fast and I was risking a prolapse. They gave me an epidural to slow down my "push" urge. I slept through most of the rest of my labour, it lasted 5 hours and DS popped out after 4 pushes.
Tell your Dh to stop being a plonker roo

[chestnutter]

Hi Katy, I think every birth experience is unique. I think the important thing is to go in with a clear idea of what you want, and go in with a written birth plan which your DH is clear on too. No-one will think you're causing trouble and in my experience the midwives and doctors are really supportive of active births (although I didn't manage one myself). However I think it's important to keep an open mind with regard to pain relief. For example I thought I might want an epidural, but knew for sure I didn't want pethadine. But others may have chosen the other way round. Second time around I refused gas and air cos it made me nauseous, but others swear by it. So it's really a personal choice.

[taylormama]

can only tell you my experience which was fab & in hospital. Spoke to MW when i arrived and told her i wanted to me active etc and not lay on a bed ... i walked, knelt, lay down, stood up etc etc - MW just told me to do what felt right for me and i did. Had gas & air and 1 shot of pethidine. Remember at times just being in the room, dim lights and music - (some of it is a blur still) - no drip, no wires etc etc ... be assertive in what you want and get DH to back you up.

[julen]

Hi there,

I'd say try and have a good idea of how you want things done, and then ask/push/badger them as much as you can to have it done that way. Yes, you will probably feel as if you are making a nuisance of yourself, but that's just because most hospital staff, like most people in general, don't like changing their routines. Nothing wrong with that, but nothing wrong with wanting to give birth your preferred way either!!

[DaisyMOO]

It's impossible to say I'm afraid as it will vary depending on the hospital and the midwife. If you want to maximise your chances of an active birth and minimise the risk of unnecessary medical interventions have you considered hiring a doula or booking a home birth? Both are proven to do this.

[hippmummy]

Hi katy

Sadly it really depends on a) the hospital and b) the individual midwife you get.
Some are wonderful and some not so.

Although all the literature tells you the emphasis is on birth plan, mother being in control etc, if you get an unhelpful midwife, busy shift/staff pressures or anything not going 100% smoothly with with your labour, you may be pressured into doing things you didn't plan.

I found with my first, I didn't have the confidence to be assertive, and with hindsight there were things I could have insisted on doing to make my labour better.

However, this is not intended to worry you and there are many many women who have had great hospital births.

I think the best thing is to make sure your birth partner (dh?)is as aware as you about the birth plan so he can back you up and ask questions about why staff want you to do certain things.

But also it helps to be aware that things don't always go the way you planned, and always have a degree of flexibility incase they don't.

Good luck with it x

[Katy44]

Thanks everyone. Glad to know I'm not completely unreasonable then. I'm definitely keeping an open mind about pain relief / monitoring etc, but don't want it to be an assumption iyswim.
Will make an effort to be assertive (discussing birth plan very soon with midwife so can start then ) and I know DH will back me up as when he has to - he's just feeling completely out of his depth at the moment!

[rachelhill]

Hi Katy

I wanted a lovely natural birth with no drugs etc. I got a failed induction and c-section for Preeclampsia, you never know. So there is little point worrying but you can prepare.

Midwives care and do try and give you the birth experience you want but keep your expectations low and you may be pleasantly surprised.

However I found it helpful to watch some birth videos online and read birth stories to know what was involved.

Oh and don't forget, you can say NO to any procedure/exam at any time and they still have to treat you. Make sure your partner is also clear his most important job is to support and reinforce youur wishes.

Rachel

[FiachraFrog]

I found it really helpful to make sure DH was fully aware of what I wanted / didn't want, and then left it up to him to talk to the MWs etc, so that I could concentrate on the labour.
IME it is easier for the MW if you are lying down, but they certainly don't object if you insist on standing up and moving around, as I did.

[thehairybabysmum]

Hello KAty44...with my DS (now 14 months), i had hoped for a water birth in our local hospital, like you i had a straight forward pregnancy. I was also open minded about pain relief as thought i would just wait and see how i felt at the time but was v. keen on remaining active throughout birth (as had been drummed into me at pregnancy yoga!!).

When the time came i was induced by drip (waters had briken 92 hours previously with no labour), and was therefore continuously monitored. Although i then wasnt allowed a water birth due to increased infection risk the midwife still encouraged me to remain active despite monitor etc. But as labour progressed i actually only wanted to lie on the bed but in a sideways sitting up position, i didnt want to move cos it hurt too much otherwise!

In the end i went from 0-10cm dilated in less than 4 hrs and had pethidine, then an epidural (which was bliss), then DS heart rate dropped and stayed low (had been up and down throughout) so i was then whisked off for an emergency C section.

Despite all this i still found the experience extremely positive (and you probably can't get much more medically managed!). The midwives and surgical team were all fantastic.

I would second that you have your birth plan considered before you go but keep an open mind. Also even if you don't end up with the birth of your dreams it can still be a positive experience.

[lackofgravitas]

You might find you're more assertive than you'd expect, seeing as the circumstances of giving birth aren't much like everyday life! For instance, having overdone it on the gas and air I'd had to haul myself out of the bath in order to throw up, and was in a bit of a state, when the midwife asked what I wanted to do next. My normal self was about to say 'oh, erm, I don't know really, I think I'll just see how the next couple of contractions go ...' when someone completely different stepped in and said 'EPIDURAL!' Most unlike me.

[Katy44]

Thakns everyone.
lackofgravitas - I hope I do get more assertive and it continues after the birth!!

[Taz2]

Hi Katy, my birth plan also went out the window as my waters broke but I didn't go in to labour. Was induced a couple of days later (although think I had started a bit on my own as was 3cm dilated when examined). I had a drip as part of the induction but still managed to sit on a birthing ball having gas and air for a couple of hours. Then decided to have pethidine and a lie down! All in all it only took 3 1/4 hours from having drip put in until birth of DS, realise I was probably very lucky but birth not as bad as I expected. Midwifes lovely (I even had a shift change in those few hours)!

[deaconblue]

I think you should try to keep your mind as open as possible to what may happen. I had a very long labour which ended up as a failure to progress, syntocinon drip, epidural, and ventouse birth. Nothing like I wanted or expected but I didn't find any of it distressing at the time as was too involved in the moment iykwim. Ds was fine and that was all I cared about in the end.

[deaconblue]

also oddly, I turned from my usual noisy assertive self to being unable to speak, shout, swear etc. I just stood very still and silent for 27 hours