other kids when giving birth

(21 Posts)
sophia17 Sun 17-Apr-16 13:42:45

I don't know where they will go?
My mum lives in another town about 30mins drive away.
DP parents are hopeless and never help us out.
all friends have work, families of there own etc.
So I've I go in to labour spontaneously I don't know what we will do with them ?

DartmoorDoughnut Sun 17-Apr-16 13:44:31

Well if there is no one to have them they'll have to stay with your DP whilst you go to hospital and then hopefully your mum can drive over and your DP can join you in time?!

cheapandcheerful Sun 17-Apr-16 13:47:21

30 mins drive away isn't far. I was in labour for HOURS with both of mine...

sophia17 Sun 17-Apr-16 14:22:03

I don't know if my mum would come down to look after them..

Gizlotsmum Sun 17-Apr-16 14:23:47

My dd had a sleepover at her friends when I had ds. I was very lucky that I had friends willing to do that.

DartmoorDoughnut Sun 17-Apr-16 14:24:47

Just watching OBEM and one couple has taken their son with them and he's being looked after by the nurses/HCAs, probably something to ask about at your next midwife appt though!

AliensInUnderpants12 Sun 17-Apr-16 14:30:40

I asked my neighbours if I could have them as reserves to drive me to the hospital if needed. I'm sure if you ask friends/neighbours someone will be happy to help out, if someone asked me I would be more than happy 😊

GunShotResidue Sun 17-Apr-16 14:34:56

I only moved here a month ago at 7 months pregnant, so there is no one here I know well enough to have DD. All my family are 2 hours away.

When I go into labour my MIL and/or sister will drive down, if they don't get here in time I'll give birth alone and DH will have DD.

katienana Sun 17-Apr-16 22:19:14

My mum is an hour away and I'm counting on her to come if I go into labour. It would be nice if it happens when ds is at nursery though!

Peyia Mon 18-Apr-16 10:49:39

Is a home birth an option?

I have family nearby who will help but I don't want to leave my DD and would like her to be involved. Unfortunately my H said no to a home birth.

Good luck!!

kiki22 Mon 18-Apr-16 10:53:25

Do you have facebook? A girl I know posted about anyone having any ideas about child care for labour and she ended up with loads of offers from people she wouldn't have asked but where happy to help. I offered my neighbour to look after their child until family arrived if needed. I think you would be surprised at how many people are willing to help out.

Fourormore Mon 18-Apr-16 10:54:55

Home birth doesn't mean you don't need childcare. I've had two home births and I couldn't have had my other children around!

Jenijena Mon 18-Apr-16 10:55:52

Just had DS2. My overnight childcare lived 6 hours away. However, a number of friends/acquaintances/people I hardly know offered to have DS1. I would certainly do it for 'random' people.

As it was, contractions were overnight, dropped ds1 at nursery in the morning, and inlaws were able to pick him up at about the time I was giving birth...

MyBreadIsEggy Mon 18-Apr-16 10:56:55

As a pp said, is home birth an option??

I laboured VERY quickly with DD, my parents and DH's parents love an hour and a half away, and we don't really know anyone here yet that we could ask to look after DD - so home birth it is! I also love the idea that DD can meet her new brother or sister as soon as he/she is born smile

Peyia Mon 18-Apr-16 11:03:32

Fourormore true but I would be comforted by hearing my partner and child in another room rather than be alone in a hospital. Also some parts of the labour might be manageable to be able to engage with a child and get support from the partner.

Just an option but perhaps not viable for all.

Fourormore Mon 18-Apr-16 11:09:31

I always liked the idea of it. Last time though, my gas and air canister ran out during transition and I let out three huge blood curdling screams before it was changed. I am so glad my kids weren't in the house to hear that - I sounded like I was being murdered!

Peyia Mon 18-Apr-16 11:15:03

Hahaha oh dear yes the possibility of long term trauma on the other children should be considered.

I must admit I'm a romantic. An childhood friend and all of her siblings where birthed in the family bath. In reality I would scream too if I didn't have enough gas and air....

untinctured Mon 18-Apr-16 15:43:57

Have you thought about using a doula? I might for my second labour so that my husband can look after DC1 if we can't arrange alternative childcare. That way I would have someone for support but would know that my son is being well cared for. It also appeals because I would get continuity through the labour and many doulas have complimentary skills like massage or aromatherapy.

LumpishAndIllogical Thu 21-Apr-16 10:12:05

I have the same problem! This is my Second and DPs first so he def wants to be present at the birth.

However most family live about 2.5 hours away, so if everything happens in the night I could call for hours before anyone could drive up. First labour was less than 12 hours, and my Mums and Grandmothers second, third labours were all 2.5-4 hours long, so I will want someone asap. Hospital is only 20 mins away.

My neighbours are DEFINITELY not someone I would leave my five year old with, I have a few friends who work 9-5 who may be asleep/not pick up phone or get here quickly (we live in London so they could be hours away to get to my house).

So not really sure how it will turn out! My Mum has offered to have ds the week around my due date, but this may not work out if baby is early/late.

For some of us childcare in Labour is a nightmare, so I completely sympathise!

zoomtothespoon Thu 21-Apr-16 22:04:55

My son was upstairs watching ninjago whilst I have birth in the living room blush

Frazzled2207 Thu 21-Apr-16 22:20:37

I was fully prepared to go to hospital in a taxi by myself in the hope that husband would come
as soon as someone came to look after ds1. As it happened I had another fairly slow labour and all was fine.
My mil had her 2nd and 3rd by herself because there was nobody other than fil to look after the other kids. I don't actually believe it though, I'm sure a friend would step in if required. Don't do what the obem family did and bring them.

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