Question for those who had positive VBAC after bad CS experience...

[asur]

did the positive VBAC give you any regrets or bring back any bad memories of your previous CS?!

I had CS which I really didn't want and the whole experience was awful - I am slowly getting over it but I do still go over it in my mind a lot.. DH and I have spoken about more kids (in the future, not right now!) but I'm just not sure if I could do it. I think that if I ended up with another CS, I would have serious depression. BUT, I also think that if I have a good VBAC, I'll end up feeling really guilty that I couldn't have had that with DS IYSWIM... Don't know if I'm just being stupid...

Would like to hear some of your experiences...

TIA
xxx

[Jimjams2]

Not quite the same but I had

1. OK emergency c-section
   
2. Dreadful elective section
   
3. trial of labour followed by very positive c-section.
   
   Experience 2 meant I was a basket case when I found I was pregnant with ds3. I had images of dying in theatre. My trial of labour helped a lot- we'd agreed an early switch to c-section- although I was very scared- the anesthetist stayed on for an extra 2 hours to get me started as he knew how scared I was. It was fine, a very positive experience- best of the 3.
   
   I did examine my reasons for the dreadful elective and a lot of it was to do with my perception, and poor communication rather than anything particularly horrendous.
   
   Different hospital for number 3 as well which I think helped.

[kslatts]

Hi, I haven't had a vbac, however had dd1 by emergency CS which was an awful experience, fell pregnant with dd2 a couple of years later and desperately wanted a vbac, as it turned out she was breach at 38.5 weeks and I was booked to have another CS, I was really worried about it but it turned out fine.

[lulumama]

asur.....i could have written your post.

i am pro VBAC..having had a wonderful one 17 months ago, that healed the trauma from my emergency c,s and i felt reborn myself afterwrads, it was the best day of my life, without a doubt....i had no guilt about my first birth..if anything, it made me realise, that the way my first birth went, was not my fault.

it allowed me to lay all that to rest finally.

my experience could fill a book! the empowerment i felt after, changed my life..so much ..in so many ways. the power of birth to shape a womans; life is vastly underestimated by many.

my biggest fear during my pregnancy was the prospect of another c.s and i knew 100 % if i had another one, i would be depressed. i also knew 100 % if i didn't have more children, i would be depressed....so i had to go for it and make sure that i had a better birth.

i spent the entire pregnancy researching birth , how to make it happen, how to be in control, how to maximise my chances of a vaginal delivery.....

and i did it !

my c.s was after failed induction, and being stuck in a bed for 6 hours with an epidural and a synto drip after an ARM....baby too high and not ready to be born.. i didnlt dilate past 2-3 cm...

looking back, all the things i wanted and had written in my birth plan...no epi, dim lights, mobile etc..none of it happened..i had no idea at all what induction meant in terms of medicalising my birth and taking away my choices.

i had to educate myself about the best way to birth.....

anyway , enough about me..!!

[lulumama]

asur.....you could contact either

sheila kitzingers birth crisis...google it ( can;t do links on laptop, can do a link tomorrow!!)

or

birth trauma associtaion

to get some closure and debreifing on your birth

how long ago was your baby born?

[lulumama]

asur.....you could contact either

sheila kitzingers birth crisis...google it ( can;t do links on laptop, can do a link tomorrow!!)

or

birth trauma associtaion

to get some closure and debreifing on your birth

how long ago was your baby born?

[Jimjams2]

Oh I'd recommed Michel Odent's book "the ceasarian" as well. I followed his advice really and felt that I'd ended up with the best possible c-section.

[chatee]

Not quite the same but I had

no 1: @33 weeks a horrendous night where midwives were telling me i was definetly not in labour(waters had broken @9pm)and at 04.00am they decided that i needed an emergency c section.......

no 2(i was absolutely petrified btw) had a good chat with consultant(in a different hospital to where no 1 was born as we had moved house)and she said to do a trial labour but under no circumstances would i be left alone from entering the labour ward.....she was true to her word but again had an emergency c section BUT it was so so so much more positive than the first ............and



yes i still have the niggling demons in my head of the 'what if's' but you have to get on with life and not dwell on the what happened's.........

hth xx

[chatee]

sorry 4 new posts since i started mine

[asur]

Thank you all so much for your answers... I have debated about whether I should put this question out or not but i'm so glad I did... Your responses have made me feel much better and I know I'm not the only one to worry in advance!

Thanks for the links Lulumama - I have been on the birth trauma site before. DS is nearly 8months now and I am getting over it - I made a complaint to the head midwife who had caused a lot of trauma to me and that made me feel much better! It still just sneaks up on me sometimes though - I know time will heal all!

Thank you all!

[lulumama]

glad to be of help asur.

.VBAC is a pet topic of mine...if you want to discuss further, please CAT me or start another thread.. i always home in on VBAC!!!

all the very best to you... i truly hope that you get over the trauma of your first birth . it sounds like you are, and that you are able to fulfil your wish for more children, and that your birth expereince, whatever form it takes, is a positive, fulfilling and empowering one

xxx

[twoplusone]

I had a vbac 2.6years ago... cs was an elective in 1996 i was 36 weeks no bad experience though.

I had to put my foot down with my consultant to have a VBAC as she wanted to cs me again, I am soo glad I got my way.. it was an experience I wouldnt have missed..preparing to do it all again in 28weeks

TBH I was very proud of myself after the VBAC

[TuttiFrutti]

Asur, why did you have a cs the first time? I am convinced that the reason for a cs largely determines the woman's feelings about it.

You say if you have a good VBAC you would "end up feeling really guilty that I couldn't have had that with ds". Why should you feel guilty? Did you actually have any choice in the matter?

I've never had a VBAC so can't answer your question by the way! Friends of mine have, with mixed results, but nobody has mentioned bringing back bad memories of the first cs.

[monalissie]

i had a vv traumatic crash cs during which they v nearly lost me twice coz i got to 4cm after 3 days in labour. when ds was born it took 3 docs to dislodge him from my pelvis coz he was big and im v tiny. id asked mw about a cs coz i measured 42w at 38w and she dismissed my fears. next time im having a cs def but i would love to experiance a vb, just now know that its not my fault that ds was born the way he was, and a cs is not a sign of failure. lulu is prob the best person for you to talk to about this tho

[asur]

TuttiFrutti - TBH, I can't give a reason for the CS... Was given 3 different reasons by docs afterwards and notes give totally conflicting details... Basically, I'd been in labour for 57hrs, was fully dialated and had been pushing for 2hrs, ended up getting transferred to a hospital (was in midwife unit) Was flat on my back in the ambulance which made the pain so much worse - by the time I got there, I didn't have the energy to fight them...

I know I could've had a vaginal birth if they'd been willing to let me but they jumped at a chance to do CS instead. I know why DS got stuck and I know how it could've been resolved but as I say, I didn't have the energy to think about it at the time... the whole thing was just awful...

I think it can be worse looking back though as hindsight means I can see what I should have and could have done...

I know it can't be changed though so I just need to concentrate on the future - who knows what it brings, eh?!

[foxtrot]

asur sorry to hear about your experiences. I had emergency cs with DS1 after being induced due to pre-eclampsia. Having been in and out of the antenatal ward from 32 weeks, i was half-expecting labour to end with a cs anyway, having seen the way the hospital worked, so when it did happen (cord wrapped twice around his neck - he wasn't going anywhere) it was a good experience. After care was awful but that's another story. Anyway 13 months later i went for VBAC (at a different hospital), the midwife was very supportive and all went fine with DS2. I did have a line put in just in case, used a birthing ball, can't remember if i was continuosly monitored but i don't think so. 15 months later i popped out DD as well without any intervention.

I know lulu agrees with me on this, an important part of having a 'good' experience is to have knowledge, and as you have been a long way through labour before you know now what to expect and can think beforehand how you can manage your labour in a positive way.

[asur]

thanks for that foxtrot... I think it's true about the knowledge part... I was pretty clued up on what I wanted/needed and I was sure I would be able to get it; hadn't planned on it lasting quite so long though and being so tired. Hadn't thought to get DH trained so that if I wasn't in a state to keep an eye on what was going on, he could... Definately know for next time (if there is one!) and he will be fully educated beforehand

[lulumama]

think about a doula too..if there is a next time..they come ready trained!

[sexkittyinwaiting]

Asur I had

1. em section,very scary and led to pnd
   
2. elective sect led to pnd
   
3. vag birth, absolutely fantastic, no drugs at all, did it all myself, got a HUGE sense of achievement
   4)vag birth, another good birth, no intervention
   
4. vag home birth, really good experience, no intervention
   
5. due march, hoping for a home water birth
   
   My positive vag birth experiences really helped to lay the ghosts of my c sections to rest. They made me feel like a woman. My issues I know, but important ones to me. I can't imagine that a good vbac will make you feel anything but really positive.