some more daft questions from a first timer

[sbear22]

hello again! i have a couple more questions i'd like to ask that i can't seem to find the answers to!

1. when does your milk come in? im 21 weeks and my mum seems to think that if i 'milk' myself now then i'll lactate but i'm skeptical!
   

1. if i did lactate now, would i then 'break the seal' and be unable to stop lactating til my baby comes?
   

1. when do other people get to hold the newborn? and who? and won't that just break my heart as a brand new mum? i understand this is subjective but i'd love some opinions
   

thanks everyone!

[HedgehogsDontBite]

1. Day 3 or 4 after the birth.

1. See above

1. When you say so. I made a huge effort to 'allow' DH and my adult DD to hold DS and bond with him but everyone else had to wait until I was prepared to give him over.

[Artifexmumdi]

I am not sure about your first two. IME, my milk besides colostrum didn't come in for a couple days.

As to other people, well, ther people get to hold the newborn when you and your DP agree they can.

And your feelings about people holding the newborn depend on the person. With DD1 (I have 3), FIL holding her was one of the nicest things ever because FIL is lovely.

Oh, one useful piece of advice if you want to BF, your DP should be responsible for all cooking, nappy changes, etc. Actually, even if you don't BF, DP should be responsible for all those as you will be recovering from birth. However, I found establishing bf significantly easier when it was my job to focus on that.

[GotToBeInItToWinIt]

1. Mine didn't come in until DD was born, not a single drop. Didn't stop me bf-ing successfully though! It's actually colostrum at the beginning, not milk. Milk comes in at around day 3 after the birth.

1. There are only tiny amounts of colostrum so even if you do leak it will only be a very small amount, you won't be gushing milk all over the place (not until baby is a few days old anyway!).

1. Entirely up to you! DH obviously held her straight away. DM visited after 2 days and DF after 3, both held her. Friends started visiting on day 4 and to be honest I was perfectly happy for them all to have a hold of her. Some people find it difficult to let other people hold their newborn but some don't. I was breastfeeding so she was always given back as soon as she cried anyway!

[WishUponAStar88]

1/2) I started leaking drops of colostrum at about 28 weeks. It was literally only drops though until after dd was born. For some people it comes in earlier, some after bsby is born. All is normal and has no bearing on being able to breastfeed.
3) completely up to you!! Dh I would be been happy to hold her straight away but he said she looked to comfy on my chest to disturb lol so he held her when she was a couple of hours old. I was more than happy for parents/ siblings and inlaws to come for a cuddle over the first few days but waited for a week or so before friends came over just to give us some family time. I didn't feel heartbroken in the slightest - was pleased and proud that everyone wanted to come to see our little girl.

[WishUponAStar88]

*Would've been

[GotToBeInItToWinIt]

On 3) after a couple of days I was also glad of a bit of a break when other people held her! It can be very intense having a baby attached to you constantly, however lovely the snuggles are

[Memphisbelly]

I didn't breastfeed but my milk didn't come in until day 5, I didn't leak any milk at all but this is different for everyone, I had a friend who leaked from about 30 weeks.

Holding the baby, whenever you want people to hold them, dh held ds before me, then to me and then my mum all in first 10 mins then We had people at the door when we arrived home, people didn't stay long and peole just seemed to want a quick cuddle, I had him in my belly for 9 months I felt happy to pass him round for cuddles straight away, although I admit before he was born I expected myself struggling to hand him over, I felt very proud to show him off to family

[ImperialBlether]

I found the milk came in properly on the third day, along with tears which lasted the whole day! I wish I'd been warned about it.

[Uphigh]

You don't need to milk yourself! You might find you leak a bit when you are pregnant so wear a bra with padding to avoid wet patches in parts of your clothes you really don't want to have wet patches. Milking yourself would actually be a bad thing (if it is even possible) as the first milk that comes in is super nutritious stuff for little new borne before the white milk.
It is up to you when anyone else holds him, well apart from dh. It is just as much his baby as yours, so he gets to hold the baby after he/ she is born too. I was quite happy for friends to hold ds when I was still in hospital. In fact I liked seeing others hold him. But I know some women don't like others holding their newborn. I think it is a hormonal thing so you will just have to see how you feel after the baby is born

[CheeseEMouse]

I had a little bit of colostrum in the few weeks before birth. My milk came in on day 3 and as Imperial said I too was properly hormonal. Sobbing. It passes, but I was a mess! You will also know your milk has come in as your breasts will feel really engorged and huge. That too will pass!

I was ok to hand my daughter over for a cuddle. Though I did spend the first night after I had her awake and just staring at her. Not to be recommended as I was so so so tired the next day.

[sbear22]

oh lovely, thank you so much everyone. i feel very reassured!

[BackforGood]

1. Day 3 or 4 after birth
   

1. Absolutely no idea - sounds weird to me
   

1. From when your parents/PiLs come to visit you on the ward - it's lovely to share your joy, and no it doesn't break your heart. In my case also my sister and dh's sister, then, other people close to me over the next few days.

[geekaMaxima]

For a first child, milk can't come in until after the baby is born because its production is triggered by the placenta coming away. It's a whole hormonal upheaval after birth.

Colostrum is different in that the breasts start producing it during pregnancy and keep doing do until your milk comes in. Colostrum is available right from birth for baby to feed on and is super-concentrated so even tiny amounts are valuable. There is no need to express colostrum in advance of birth unless you have certain medical conditions (such as gestational diabetes) where a stockpile might be useful.

Milk typically comes in 72 hours after birth. Baby sucking frequently in that time can speed up its arrival, and a c-section or difficult birth can slow it down. Baby can usually get by fine on colostrum until milk comes in, even if it takes several days, but postnatal care will be keeping an eye on baby's weight anyway.

When your milk does come in, you may not notice it. If baby is feeding often, the milk can be removed too quickly to build up and cause engorgement, and your first clue is finding yellow poo in the nappies. So don't necessarily expect massive or uncomfortable boobs!

[Tranquilitybaby]

Colostrum is thete immediately after birth and milk comes in 2-6 days after birth depending on if its a natural birth or section.

Milk can leak slightly whilst you're still pregnant but there's no need to encourage it.

You can allow people to hold your baby whenever you feel ready, that's your perogative.

[HoldenCaulfield80]

After those first cuddles I LOVED watching other people holding DD, especially parents, just so I could see what they did. I was like some kind of anthropologist taking notes: if she cries they do this and she settles etc. As a first timer who had no experience of babies, it was incredibly reassuring.

Having said that, if you don't want to give baby over, then it's your choice. You did all the hard work after all!

[Thisisimpossible]

Re: 3 It depended on who it was. DP fine. DM and DstepF fine. In laws and other relatives I struggled with for a few weeks. I thought I'd be totally unconcerned about handing him over but I felt absolutely desperate whenever anyone else had him for a cuddle. Really panicky, especially if he cried. It passes in time so just go with however you feel.

The one thing I really couldn't bear was him smelling of perfume or aftershave. My MIL arrived on day 2, promptly whipped him out of my arms without asking and covered him in her perfume. I was absolutely distraught after she'd gone and spent ages trying to wash the smell off him with cotton wool and water. It's definitely a hormonal thing. I'm normally quite laid back!

[eckythumpenallthat]

I too leaked colostrum from about 27 weeks. Milk came in 5 days after having my daughter but I had an emcs and I've heard that's normal.

DH got to hold dd first. By the time I got her she was about 4/5 hours old and was dressed and I only had her for a quick feed before she was taken off me. Absolutely gutted by that but having had a general anaesthetic and I was I. A pretty bad state afterwards what can be done