anyone facing labour where DH may not make it in time?

[Gemmitygem]

I'm due on 12 Oct with first baby. DH and I are both based abroad in Central Asia, so I've come back to Belgium to have the baby (for complicated reasons!), DH will be working in the UK and basically on standby to come over.

Now I know there are lots of eurostars and flights every day, but if I had a precipitate labour he may not make it. This is starting to worry me in case he doesn't get there and I'm in labour on my own.

Did anyone else have this situation and how did you cope with it?

[3andnomore]

Hi there,
with ms there was a chance that my dh may miss the Birth, as he is in the armed forces and was in Northern Ireland at the time (Firefighter strikes), I arranged to have a friend with me and it was great, I had female support throughout my labour and , just as I had been telling the m/w's...ds waitied for dh to return...within the hour of him arriving in the delivery Unit ds was born!
Even though it was my most drawn out and "slow" labour, it was the most pleasant one...and I am really sure that my body was holding back to wait for his arrival
Is there anyone you could ask to come with you until your dh arrives?

[staceym11]

i havnt been in the situation but i too think asking someone close to be with you till dh gets there will be best, then at least if he doesnt make it you arent all alone.

[misdee]

ask someone to be your birthing partner if dh cant definatly make it.

my dh was in hospital when i was due to have dd3. after i transferred my care to the hospital he was in, they moved him to harefield. my sister was my 2nd in command so to speak, as it was dh was discharged 2 days before dd3 was induced.

[foxinsocks]

dh nearly missed the birth of ds (grrr). He was in the US and had just got back when I went into labour around 3 weeks early.

I always knew there was a chance he would be travelling (does a lot of last minute travel) but I hadn't made a plan as to what to do if he wasn't there. I always thought if I had turned up on my own at hospital here (in London) that the midwives would probably be quite friendly and helpful if I was on my own!

Could you find an independent midwife or a doula type figure if you don't know someone well enough to ask them to be your standby partner?

[moondog]

Gemmy,you're in Kyrgistan aren't you?

My dh didn't make it home from Eastern Turkey in time for our ds's birth in Britain (prob. because he had to take an insane 24 hour bus ride to Ankara as all flights full.)

It was fine,labour was fine,MWs lovely and he got there 24 hours later.

[mum2monkeys]

Hi there, this happened to my best friend - I was gutted I couldn't be there for her have 2LO's and dp also works away. She called another friend who drove her to the hospital and hung around til the morning(she then had to get back to her kids), but another friend swapped shifts, so she was never on her own....
Another idea and this is a bit controvertial - would you consider being induced? My 2nd was due end of august, had my mum coming over for the month of august to help with DD, so my dr suggested inducement, providing all was going well, she gave me a preliminary date too.....
Waters broke end of June so as it turned out dp was here, so afraid can't tell you how that worked out!
Hope this gives you some ideas if nothing else.

[moondog]

I thought of asking to be induced but MW wasn't keen at all. Glad really.

[Gemmitygem]

thanks for replies,

moondog, I'm working in Kazakhstan, but come back to Europe for the birth...

Wouldn't really want to induce as I understand it carries an awful lot of risk..

My inlaws are here, and v supportive, but feel uncomfortable about asking them to be birth partners!

I think it's just nerves as 38 weeks approaches... as DH could almost certainly get there in time, especially as first babies usually take a while..

thanks again for advice!

[3andnomore]

Aww gemmy, you never know they might surprise you, those inlaws.....see how they would feel about it...you can always toss them out if they aren't helpful;)