homebirthers - tell me your lovely stories

(85 Posts)
littlemonkeychops Mon 13-May-13 08:47:15

Hi
I'm planning a homebirth for DC2, 38 weeks now. Had a straightforward birth with DC1 at MLU and only 5 mins from hospital if i need to transfer.

So, about 90% of the time i am excited and positive but for the last couple of days i've felt wobbly, not about the homebirth side of things i'm confident it's shat i want. Just suddenly nervous about the "argh i actually havd to go through labour again" aspect! I guess this is normal for a second birth?!

So please shard your positive homebirth stories, for some reason reading positive stories makes me feel less wobbly!

Thanks

Loving these stories! I'm not due till end of August, but planning hb. Only thing is DH doesn't fully know about my hb aspirations yet and might have a bit of a worry - the sort of "shouldn't we be where all the expert help is" kind of worry - is there stuff to reassure him on homebirth.org.uk? It's not that I haven't mentioned it, I have, but he doesn't like to think about things like that till it's actually time to make those decisions/choices.

DS was 9lbs 5 born at 42 weeks in the MLU, VB but took hours and hours and seemed quite difficult but was probably well within 'textbook' definition. I just don't fancy all the logistics of having someone come and look after him, would love it if he just woke up in the morning to a new baby brother or sister.

TerrysNo2 Mon 13-May-13 17:22:42

This is NOT a shameless blog promotion as I don't blog much these days but here is a link to my homebirth story in part one and part two.

I have the best memories of it and can't wait to have another one grin

NightLark Mon 13-May-13 17:28:25

DD1 HB - born in the birthpool, in the corner of our living room. Quick, easy, needed just TENS and the pool. Was bizarre to feel her head descend after DS's birth where I had been all epidural'd up. Loveliest thing was the run up to the birth, pottering around my own house in the nighttime, timing contractions, filling the pool, totally at ease in my surroundings. Didn't go near a hospital until her hearing check, weeks later.

DD2 HB - a bit trickier, blisteringly hot day and a far more uncomfortable labour, plus she was positioned badly. Laboured in the pool but birthed on dry land as she got stuck and the midwife wanted me out, now! Had to transfer to hospital afterwards, but was all done very quickly and then I got to come home again. But still, the DC came down the next morning to new baby. Again, the best bit was the labour time - all in my own surroundings, so much nicer than my hospital experience of just feeling in the way all the time.

luna40 Mon 13-May-13 17:30:33

Am 38 weeks and also planning a HB! So eagerly watching this thread and really enjoy reading all the positive stories

Ihateparties Mon 13-May-13 18:05:56

I had 1 crap hospital birth, 1 lovely one and 1 lovely homebirth. It was great to be at home, in hindsight it was straightforward, which isn't a given. 2nd birth was planned to be home but ended up being hospital due to staffing issues and you know what, it was absolutely fine and there was no need to be disappointed that it didn't happen at home.

Really glad I got to have at least 1hb but if i did it again i wouldn't get hung up on where it happened, in the end I realised that wasn't the important bit for me smile

MoonHare Mon 13-May-13 18:09:32

Yey! I love positive birth threads especially home birth ones when I get the excuse to share my stories again. Will be back later when I've got time to do exactly that.

themonstersmum Mon 13-May-13 19:20:34

If you feel comfortable in your own ability to cope, and are fit and well, then a HB is just fantastic. All 3 of mine were born at home and it is one of the best decisions I have ever made, and one of the things I am proudest of doing. My MW was very pro HB and supportive, and I had students at the two later ones, what with two MW, two students and a cat there was barely room for me!

For a straightforward birth, being at home is great, no panicky rush to get anywhere, your choices of what to do and where to be. If you want or need the extra support of a pool or ball etc, you have your own and don't wonder if all the facilities at your local hospital etc are in use. I loved sitting down for supper and a glass of wine (!) a few hours after DC3 was born whilst my 3 darlings slumbered upstairs.

Be prepared for some washing afterwards. I suggest dark coloured bed sheets and old towels. For no 3 the MW got soaked when my waters went in a gush she had to borrow trousers to get home!

If you are confident around tiny babies, and having already had one you will be, then go for it. You get left alone two hours post-partum as the MW has to stay long enough to be sure you are both ok, then there is no other support. And you need to get baby checked by a GP or paediatric doc. My first two visited the house to do the check, the third had to be taken in to the hospital for this as it was the weekend.

I did get my two older kids to go to a neighbours for the actual birth for number 3 as I was concerned they would be worried at hearing my groans, I think this helped me relax and get on with it, I had clearly been holding back a bit with them in the house being concerned. But you decide what to do, it rather depends when you go into labour. Some people actually have their other kids present at the birth, but that was a bit too much for me!

Hope all goes well. Enjoy!

Handsfullandlovingit Mon 13-May-13 19:29:23

I have had two gorgeous homebirths. One 5 hour push, second refused to push and ds arrived under his own steam. I second the comment upthread about less unnecessary intervention. You are freed from the pressure to deliver according to a timetable. If baby and you are happy, the midwives quietly and graciously help and let you get on with it. Good luck.

AuntyDiluvian Mon 13-May-13 19:48:41

I have my 9-day old PFB sleeping on me. He wasn't actually born at home but was a planned home birth, and only the last 2 hours were in hospital - I want to chime in as someone who had to transfer to hospital in labour and am still totally delighted that we chose to have a home birth. I think I would have found that reassuring to hear before my home birth, especially as a first-timer.
My contractions started about midday on Friday - they were coming at 3-minute intervals but not that painful. Called partner, called midwife, then made a big batch of biscuits(!). Once Bloke got home we stuck the TENS on and went for a walk by the river, stopping for a bit of a lean and a sway with each contraction. Midwife came and examined me at 10pm - 2cm. Carried on labouring at home in my own time with the TENS until 1:30am when she came back and I was 6cm, so got in the birth pool and on the gas and air. After a couple of hours happily labouring in the pool, I was getting close to pushing, but PFB's heartrate dropped on two separate monitorings, so the midwife insisted we transfer to hospital - but the transfer was calm and smooth, Kid was born without interventions in spite of the transfer and his distress, and everyone was totally fine afterwards.
I felt so in control for almost all of my labour, which meant my partner was calm too, and the midwives just let me get on with it until there were signs something was wrong. I swore afterwards I'd never give birth again, but if I do, I will definitely have another home birth if possible.

Watching with interest. MWs are asking me to consider a HB for DC3 as DC2 was precipitate and we are 20 mins from hospital (an hour in traffic, twelve minutes when DH floored it to make sure DC2 wasn't born in a layby so not near).

Startail Mon 13-May-13 20:10:14

DD2 was a lovely absolutely straight forward HB. The only thing that wasn't to plan was we never got round to sending her sister to DFs.

DD1 was fast asleep and ignored everything until 3 mins after DD2 appeared. She wandered in, said hi to her sister and ignored me delivering the placenta.

As someone upthread said it just flowed, DD2 just instantly felt she was part of the family.

My favourite memory is of having a picnic lunch after the MWs had gone on our bed in a winter sunbeam and DD2 settling down to BF.

MoonHare Mon 13-May-13 21:02:23

Like you OP my first was a straightforward hospital birth, not easy but straightforward. The best part was the time I laboured at home with the lights down low doing my own thing. I used only TENS and techniques from JuJu Sundin's book "Birth Skills". I felt confident that I could have managed at home and decided to go for it with DC2.

DC2's birth was a truly wonderful experience, born at home after a 7 hour labour start to finish. Calm, relaxed everything we'd hoped for. It made such a difference to be in our own home, both me and DH felt more in control and being together with the new baby in our own bed with tea and toast afterwards was fab. I was so clam in fact that I told the mw twice on the phone she needn't bother coming out yet, when finally she insisted and arrived at 11pm I asked her to examine me and was 9cm! DD arrived at 1.15am. DD1 came home from an overnight stay at a friend's house to meet her new baby sister and the look on her face will always stay with me.

We had no hesitation in deciding on hb for DC3. She was born at 41+5 after a sweep at 41+3. It was still a relaxed calm experience but much more intense at the end than DD2 as it was much quicker. 4 hours from start to finish, started with my waters breaking at 1am I hopped out of bed just in time! I had learned my lesson from last time and rang the mw more or less straight away. She arrived at 1.45 - I wasn't even contracting much at this point. Baby arrived at 5am. The last hour of my labour was very intense and much more painful than with DD2 but still an empowering and wonderful experience.

I had a little wobble occasionally before both home births but I kept focussing on the fact that I knew I could cope pain-wise and that there was no greater risk to the baby or me than if we were in hospital.

Amazing, fantastic experiences, I too feel a little sad that I'll never do it again.

melezka Mon 13-May-13 21:05:28

Was all sorted for a home waterbirth with DD but when in labour every time I got in the pool I was sick. In the end the cervix was dilating unevenly, our lovely midwife called an ambulance and a motorbike paramedic arrived (? - wha...?) and proceeded to ask if he could call his wife; we said yes; he told her all about how he'd be late home for dinner and left...a ride to the hospital in an ambulance sorted out the cervix but our midwife was furious when we got there - no birthing packs, the rooms not equipped, etc, etc. It was a comic farce and we were of course delighted to have our baby - but we really wanted to try for a home birth for the next one.
Birth of DS was at risk when i was +13 - I went for a long walk (waddle) and labour began. 8 hours - same as the previous - but a whole other thing. Keeping walking was key for me and of course I had experience to know that. What was really lovely was that our lovely midwife from DD's birth was the second midwife, arriving in time for the delivery. DH and I often say that DS's birth was one of the most romantic times we've ever had. We just felt so together, strongly linked even when more grunting than speaking was happening. Both midwives just let us get on with it and then joined in the celebrations afterwards.
Have a fantastic time. DS is 13 now and he loves to hear what a lovely time we had bringing him into the world.

PickleSarnie Mon 13-May-13 21:08:22

I had a homebirth for my second. Most awesome decision ever.

Contractions started at 4am. Called midwife at 8ish. Blood pressure was 2 points over their limit. Reluctantly agreed to go to hospital and resigned myself to a hospital birth. They hooked me up to the monitor and my blood pressure was slap bang in the middle of average. I was 4cm, they said I could go home. A combination of the "sport suspension" on DHs car at the time and the potholes in Leicester really ramped things up on the way home. Both of us were thinking at the time but didnt say to each other that it was an utterly stupid thing to be driving away from a hospital.

Waters broke on the drive home (sorry to the person who now owns the ex company car! ) , staggered in, slumped over ball, midwives arrived just before pushing. Four pushes later, ds2 was born. Well before DH had the chance to fill the pool up.

It wasn't as planned. It certainly wasn't lavender candles and whale music. I pooed in the living room floor which DH still takes great pleasure in reminding me of. But it was fecking awesome and, dare i say it without sounding like a hippy, ridiculously empowering.

I had a shower in my own shower, I slept in my own bed, I didn't have to eat NHS toast and drink crap NHS tea. If I was ever crazy enough to have a third, I'd do it again.

dogrosie Mon 13-May-13 22:01:09

YY, loved mine too. Two midwives, both my mum's age having a good old gossip about their colleagues whilst working their way through the box of biscuits and all the tea in the house.

Sent DH upstairs, "well you're not much use here love, but the baby'll need you when it's born so Rosie can have a kip." Woke him up (yes, he had actually dozed off!) when it got interesting and DS was born while I leant over the sofa. Then they helped me get cleaned up ("no need to stand in the shower straight away, it's four in the morning ha ha". We went upstairs and they shouted ta ta! We came down to find they'd tidied up and taken all the mank with them.

Still laugh when I think of it now, and DS is 10! Lovely lovely and I wish you well.

themidwife Mon 13-May-13 22:10:27

I'm a community midwife & have also had 2 home births as well as 2 hospital births. You'll do great! Have faith in your own amazing ability to get through it & dare I say it even enjoy it (in a painful kind of way!) Good luck!!

littlemonkeychops Mon 13-May-13 22:12:27

So glad i started this thread, so much positivity :-) Feeling all excited now! Thank you to everyone for sharing your stories, planning to read this thread whenever i feel wobbly!!

LynetteScavo Mon 13-May-13 22:15:38

My home birth was lovely.

I had two horrible hospital births, and wasn't going back there again.

I spent a couple of hours bouncing on the birthing ball in the dark (had sent DH to bed) had a bath, got him to call midwife, who came an hour before DD was born. 2nd midwife turned up minutes after DD was born.

DS2 woke up just before she was born...DH went up to him, and I called that they should both come downstairs. (I really didn't wan't DH to miss the birth) so 2yo DS saw DD being born.

I would like to say they have an amazing bond to this day, but that would be lying. grin

themidwife Mon 13-May-13 22:18:23

And yes, we do pride ourselves on leaving the place spotless when we leave! smile

LynetteScavo Mon 13-May-13 22:36:15

Indeed, my house was left spotless. smile

The midwife did ask what I wanted done with the duvet I'd given birth on, on the floor, which had a lot of mess on it. I said DH would sort it out. I thought he would take it to the tip. He took it to the launderette. shock blush

BoffinMum Mon 13-May-13 22:49:08

3 HBs

In all cases a bit of labour, MW came, gave birth, quick shower, cuppa tea, other people cleared up the house!

Perfick.

wouldyoupleasemove Mon 13-May-13 23:05:42

Straight forward waterbirth at midwife unit for DC1. Home birth three months ago for DC2. Born in a birth pool in our dining room surrounded by candles, flowers and listening to Radio 4. Two amazing midwifes, DH, 4 hour labour, one push, not a stratch. Best of luck x

jennifersofia Tue 14-May-13 00:19:15

Had 3 HB's. All quite straightforward. Lovely crawling into bed with DH and new babby, and seeing how big her sibling was next to her the next morning! Two comments from DH (9 am - I am in beginning of labour) "It is the decorator on the phone, can he come at 11? Me: No! Later on, "Why is the m/w putting out all those pads on the floor? Ohhhhhh." (He is actually lovely, just gets a bit overwhelmed!)
Definitely one of the best things I have ever done, and no regrets.
Good luck!

Flyingtree Tue 14-May-13 00:59:21

I knew I wanted a home birth with my first child, but as it was my first and I was an'older mother (at 37!) they did push for a hospital birth, but they didn't get those straps and monitors on me, oh no :D I was adamant I wanted as least intervention as possible, in fact that was the whole reason I wanted a home birth.

Probably for the best, the labour was from 11pm until around 7.30am
I had way too much gas and air, so was violently sick.
I tried different birthing positions but found squatting most instinctive.

Waking up to a baby too far away from me in a cot and a cleaner honking the room out with bleach at 8am and not being allowed the windows open, was not even forgiven for the morning Yorkshire sunshine and views to distant moors around Halifax.

My second child was born at home. I nested up the front room but when I felt my waters were about to go, I moved upstairs to my bedroom, as if I needed that more closed in private space. The midwives had gone to lunch, and I lived on top of a moor by then so didn't expect them back quickly, and wasn't even worried. I was confident I could give birth alone, and my Mum present also wasn't fazed. The father of the child was downstairs playing on his computer. He certainly wasn't bothered either ... hmm Anyway. A couple of pushes and he was out. No pain relief. Born on my bed. I climbed into bed, and his first feed was whilst I gazed out over the beautiful Cliviger Valley. The whole thing was relaxed, fearless and beautiful.

It would have been about an equidistant 20 minute drive one way to Rochdale hospital or Halifax if there had been complications.

More babies are not happening for me ss my current partner doesn't want them, but I am grateful for having had both experience of a home and hospital birth. I would always HB again, unless the father was strongly in favour of hospital.

So, I recommend HB completely. It imbued the birth process with the magic and awe you read of.

LittleMissLucy Tue 14-May-13 03:50:13

well I was a home birth, to a 23 yr old mother. But as a mother myself - when I gave birth in my late 30s that wasn't going to be the right choice for me.

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