How can we help 16yo DSis?

[HomeSkillet]

16 (nearly 17yo) DSis has been suffering from depression and tried to overdose on paracetamol a few days ago, she ended up in hospital but thankfully her physical health was not affected. She has also self harned several times in the past by cutting her arms and legs, though we don't think she has done this for a number of weeks now, but we can't be sure.

She had been referred to CAMHS last year after an awful time at school which culminated in her leaving mid-term. She refused to go to appointments at all beyond the first one and mum had to just let it go. DSis decided to go to college and things seemed to be getting better (though not perfect).

A couple of months ago things started to get worse again, we know she went back to hurting herself and she asked to be referred back to the psychiatrist, which she was only this time they are seeing her as an adult because she is over 16 and at college- so my parents are completely out of the picture and no-one is really telling them anything or offering any advice.

She has agressive mood swings, she can be laughing with us one minute and then swearing at us and slamming doors the next. When she is "on a downer" she spends alot of time in her room and in bed and wont really speak to us. She says that she has felt this way her whole life/has never fitted in/hates herself/ is shit at everything/ is never happy or ok.


She was in hospital this week following attempted OD and had an appointment with psychiatrist the following day (previously arranged, just so happened she tried to OD the day before) but now has to wait another four weeks to see someone again. Parents and I both feel this is too long between appointments given recent events, but parents are unsure what they can do since she is being seen as an independent adult.

Can they ask ger psychiatrist for some help or advice themselves ( they have no desire to invade DSis privacy or find anything out) about what they can do to help? Are they still in a position where they could insist she is seen more frequently in the short term, or does this have to come from my DSis? She still lives with them and is under their care, if she had stayed at school would still be under CAMHS so mum feels like she should still have a bit of an insight. DSis would clam up completely and would absolutely not request being seen sooner herself- she wont really say much about it at all and we don't want to put her off going altogether by putting pressure on her to talk.


sorry, very long post but if anyone has any advice about what we can do to help her, or where my parents can seek some advice, and where they stand in terms of how much input they have with DSis care, we would really appreciate it. Thankyou.

[KiaOraOAotearoa]

I am sorry you are going through such hard times.
I have no first hand experience or qualifications, but I was researching how to best help a person dear to me in similar circumstances. I came across an idea I am stil mulling over. It explained that in order to start caring for/about themselves, people with depression might benefit from looking after something/someone else. The only thing I could think of is a rescue puppy.
I am sorry, it is a half baked idea, I just didn't want your post to rain unanswered till someone with more expwrience comes along. But I was just thinking about it.hope she gets better and that you find the strenght to cope.

[HomeSkillet]

Thanks Kia, there is a family dog who lives with them and she does seem to find some comfort from him sometimes, i think she likes the affection she gets from him. I will mention to my mum that it might be worth encouraging DSis to be more involved with caring for the dog (walking him, feeding him etc). He is actually our DB's dog but my DSis seems to really love him.

Thanks for taking the time to reply, I hope your loved one is feeling better soon too.

[KiaOraOAotearoa]

:) thank you, you too.

[HomeSkillet]

Anyone?

[anthropology]

Until she is 18, your parents should be able to get information and push for better services as long as the patient gives permission (once over 16). Its really important someone outside camhs fights the patients corner if they feel there is not enough support. If your parents feel she is at risk, they should tell the duty psychiatrist and know all the people involved in her care and how to reach them . Usually adult services begin at 18, . it shouldnt matter I dont think if she is at school or college to be under camhs and eligible for inpatient adolescent care, as it is age based ? . If adult services begins at 16 in the area, maybe ask the gp for the nearest camhs to 18. Adult services are much more difficult to access regularly, so its important that as much help as possible from camhs before her 18th birthday. Parents can also go individually to the GP and ask for CBT therapy for themselves, which can help them support her, by supporting them.

Young minds offer a callback service for parents from experts, where they can ask what they should be expecting and their rights . They can always ask for family therapy, even if they might not get it. Camhs is stretched and it is focused on the patient, but staff can change in camhs, and its family who are constant are most involved in recovery, so I suggest keeping a written record of dealings with camhs and notes of treatments/therapists etc, in case you need to approach anyone higher in the trust to push help. Im afraid I fought extremely hard, as mistakes are made sadly, and with recent additional cuts. there are also NICE guidelines available online and I needed to remind services and involve a local councillor to get my DD the help she was entitled to....best of luck. She is lucky to have a supportive sister.