Give me strength

[SWK70]

Was on here the other day about my 15yo DD. she hasn't been at school most of the year& is attending CAMHS with no success. I think now I just want a rant!!
I want to grab her & give her a shake. People are willing to help her & she just doesn't give a shit. I really feel like I could slap her! I'm afraid to push her on anything as she has self harmed before.
I am really at the end of my tether. I am sick of crying over this. I don't know what to do anymore. I keep telling myself this is just a blip& can't last forever, but it's been 18 months now.
Just wanted to get some things off my chest!

[LaMamita]

I am sorry you have to go through this. Just some phrases I believe are true and may cheer you up:

• no, it will not last forever
• you are entitled to you rant/s- as needed
• she is her own entity
• shaking her will probably not help at all, so don't. write that off your to do list
• you are your own entity and can make decision that will change things for you
• make them
• look around and find help for you (a friend, a pastor, a counselor)

I will be praying for her and you next Monday 2nd at 7pm ET. Just in case you want to join me. Prayer has never harmed anyone and has done miracles for so many ...

[SWK70]

Thank you so much for your kind words. Knowing it can't last forever is what's keeping me going. Thank you also for your prayers... I hope they help. Xx

[LaMamita]

I am sure your are a beautiful person going through a tough time. I am sure you have been of help to people in your life in the past... let someone help you get through this. I pray this comes to pass soon.

[SWK70]

Thank you so much for your kind words. Knowing it can't last forever is what's keeping me going. Thank you also for your prayers... I hope they help. Xx

[anthropology]

for many of us, it lasted a long time, but not forever, and when things do move forward, you feel very different , but you are right, she needs to engage with professional support to change her patterns of coping. I think one positive aspect of my DD being an inpatient was being around other young people who understood her.
Please get yourself support. Your GP should offer you CBT. It will give you a place a rant and also help you handle what you are unable to control. You must look after yourself and try to get a break.
Your DD may be too scared of letting go the control. She is probably very stuck in a coping mechanism and her not caring, may be not being able to care.
CAMHS can be really helpful, but therapy is also subjective. is there a reason she wont speak to them, have they tried different ways/different therapists to engage her ? My DD responded best to younger female therapists closer to her age .
If she wont talk, has she had an full WISC 4 educational assessment, which might illustrate some of her strengths and weaknesses. as its not talking about feelings , she may do this 3 hour assessment. Some dyslexia charities offer bursarys and the information can help with support too.
its also helpful for her and you to remember her strengths . Does she cook, ride, go to gym, like anything at all , however little which can remind her and you that there are things she can do and help create structure in the day, and give you a break too.

[anthropology]

just seen your other post. yes, ask robustly for pupil support or the hospital school, LEA have a responsibility to provide age appropriate education. if she wont leave home, maybe just take a couple of subjects she likes and get a tutor in. Realistically, like my DD when she is stronger she may need to go back a year so its less about academic progress, more creating structure and confidence and if possible helping her socially. If she is stronger in September, I wonder there are other school options, smaller and more supportive the LEA might pay for.