How to support son after horrible bullying at school

[Dreamimgofmyholiday]

My son was at a very small independent school until Christmas.He was subjected to the most awful bullying by three boys.He was beaten in the play ground under the nose of the staff who chose it ignore it.One of the boys mothers was spoken to was eventually spoken to when I insisted on it .It did not stop and she was spoken to on several more occasions.

The two other boys mothers were never spoken to(one has two sisters at the school so they didn't want to undercover I believe).We gave our notice to the school and started our terms notice in September.This was a hugh mistake.After one particularly bad beating by the three boys in which my son had to knock on the window for help.The headmaster told my son "There will be boys like this at all schools" he also told my son not to tell anyone about this.

I told the headmaster what I thought about his school as we were already leaving I never nothing would ever be done.The school has only 55 pupils and the children were allowed to behave as they wished as long as parents payed their fees.The school is family own with no board of governors.It had been issued a notice to improve by the is in 2014 parents were not made aware of this I know now they had an unannounced ofsted inspection in November which they failed.

My son left the school early and I taught him at home until after Christmas.During the holiday he told me of other events at the school.I spoke to social services ofsted and the isi.They would like to take matters further and I will do so as soon as my son is settled well in his new school.He is doing well now and beginning to make new friends.I an however finding it difficult to come to terms with failing my son to this place.His new school is light years ahead in all respects(the old school failed the children academically too I worked all along with my son and he is well ahead).

If anyone has any advise on how I can continue to support my son I would be very grateful as I know how this could effect him long term.

[Devora]

I'm afraid I don't have any good advice to give but I just wanted to give the thread a bump, and say how very sorry I am to hear this. It sounds absolutely horrific; your poor son, and poor you.

[Dreamimgofmyholiday]

Thank you.x

[Notenoughsleepmumof3]

Dear Dreaming. It is heartbreaking when this happens to children and it does happen at every school no matter what the demographic. Our DS was bullied and beaten up several times at his primary school. We have pulled him out and put him in another school and he is settled and happy now. I took him to a one day workshop called ZAP. It is run by kidscape.org and it was very beneficial to him and to me. Check it out. They have a few enters around the country. Support, Love and self-esteem boosting will help him heal. Good Luck.

[Dreamimgofmyholiday]

I will,it sounds very helpful.I am glad that your son is doing well now.

[Sallyhasleftthebuilding]

How old is DS?

[Dreamingofmyholiday]

My son is 9.

[Dreamingofmyholiday]

Thank you Notenough I have looked at ZAP and it's a great idea.Thank you.x

[Notenoughsleepmumof3]

Same age as mine when it became unbearably difficult. Our DS is doing better, but it is baby steps and it takes time to undo the damage and help them to move on. I hope your son is able to recover.

[Tamarandave]

Well there are a few ways you could support your son and this is by no means exhaustive. I am sure you do a lot already

1. Promise never to let this happen again and if bullying starts set a time limit of weeks not months or years for it to be fully stopped before taking him out.
   
2. Have him seen by a child psychologist
   
3. Give him jobs and responsibilities at home etc to help build his self worth and confidence
   
4. Get him out after school to cubs/scouts, cadets, sports, music, chess whatever his interests so he has an alternate group of friends who share interests
   
5. Uproot all anger from the home...if there is any...and make sure the home remains a happy, safe (emotionally) place to be