d's bullied in Primary. Bully in same secondary class. Should I ask for move?

[staples]

My ds was bullied by several boys at primary. The ring leader is now in d's class at new secondary school. When the class lists were released another mother said she was really glad her ds was in a different class. She had specifically requested they not be together. She advised me to go asap to head to ask for him to be moved.

I spoke to d's who said he wanted to stay as half his primary class were in the same class together.

Parents evening last night I find out about all sorts of bad stuff already going on involving this boy Inc bullying my ds, one of d's new friends. This boy also took my d's book over the weekend (we had no idea and he couldn't do his homework as a result) ds said it was s probably an accident but I am .

Anyway spoke to ds this morning and he confirms this boy has been bullying him again both in and out of school.but says he wants to stay in the class.

I coincidentally have a meeting tomorrow with his class teacher. I will flag up the bullying of course. But do I ask for him to change classes. I found out last night that some of his primary classmates' parents did move their kids to other classes when they found out they were in the same class as this boy.

[GirlInASwirl]

I think you speak with the class teacher and let him/her know what you would like for your DSs education and also what he has said about class change. i think it should be discussed as a subtle, complex problem. Ultimately; your DS should feel safe and free to learn - whether that is by better management in school of the bullying or moving him. Good relationships with previous classmates can have a protection factor but it seems that this in itself is not keeping him free from harm.

Good luck with your meeting

[sandra]

It would be a shame if your ds had to move when he clearly wants to stay with his friends, and friends are known to be protective in bullying scenarios. The school has a duty here and should be working with the boy doing the bullying and either move him or get the behaviour to change. The school should be doing bullying intervention work across the whole school and intensively in the whole class. They should have trained peer mentors - older students who are assigned to your son and friends to help. Moving class does not help in these days of cyberbullying anyway - it simply could disrupt your son and still leave him open to bullying from this source. So the school need to liaise with the former primary sch and find out more about the bullying child's history and take steps to help the bullying child stop. Other parents in your ds' class would probably want this tackled too.

[staples]

There are 3 older pupils (say 17 years old) who are allocated to the class. Ds has agreed to move (there is another class which also has a few friends from his primary in but obi also several unknown kids, so yes, of course, there might be another child there with whom he has problems.

I am undecided.But it got pretty bad (self harm and talk of suicide) so I am anxious. Unfortunately, he doesn't tell me sooo much, and he can be challenging (he tries to ignore then just goes ballistic and is uncontrollable when enraged) then he is seen as the 'baddie' not the kids who have been tormenting him for weeks. :(