Dd in year 3 bullied by supposed 'friend'

[perceptionreality]

My dd is so upset that I have had to keep her off school about this. What is most confusing I suppose is that this is a child who was supposed to be her friend and who was here at our house at the weekend!

Everything was fine then, as far as I could see. Now this child, for no reason that we can work out has started actively trying to exclude my dd from games at break times and whispering to people that they should leave her out. She also shouts at my dd, snatches things off her and if my dd tries to stay away from her she goes up to her and tells her my dd is being mean and she's going to tell her mum on her. The class teacher seems to think it is not anything my dd has done and she can see what has been going on and has tried to address it.

Why on earth do children behave like this towards each other? And what can I do to help my dd? I know it's not a good idea to keep her off school for such a thing but it breaks my heart to see how depressed she is. She has psysiological reactions to things like this and is actually physically sick.

One more thing, are these issues easier to address in a state school where there are usually clearer guidelines these days about anti-bullying?

[hiveofbees]

How many days has this been going on?

Does the school not have any policy on bullying?

[perceptionreality]

I think they do - I'll see if I can find it online. It's being going on since Monday but has happened on and off before - I think a few weeks ago she was behaving in a similar way but seems now to have turned it up a notch.

Last term it was another girl doing exactly the same thing, but this was not a specific friend of hers and the teacher resolved it by talking to them. Both girls are relatively new to the school (within the last 8 months) and before they came dd was in a class with children she had been with at the school since she was 3 and there was rarely any conflict and no bullying that I'm aware of.

[perceptionreality]

I've just had a look - they only have one document entitled 'School Rules' and wrt bullying it just says 'bullying of any kind will not be tolerated'.

[perceptionreality]

reading some of the other threads on here I can see this sort of thing is common :(

[cammocklass]

My dd is going through a similar thing where a supposed 'friend' blows hot and cold all the time. Sometimes she is very friendly and other times she pointedly refuses to acknowledge dd. I have told dd to rise above it and ignore...easier said than done I know! I think sadly this can be girls.