I sense the problem, often, in dealing with bullying is that schools are more and more reluctant to take what parents would consider is appropriate action once bullying is reported. Concern that proof is difficult to obtain (bullies are smart enough to know to do their worst away from the eyes of teachers) and modern 'liberal' thinking around punishment combine to invariably mean that schools take the easy option and wait for the 'bullied' to move schools rather than confront the issue head-on. It doesn't seem believable, for those of us schooled fifty years ago, that schools these days seem afraid to say 'stop and don't do it' when bullying is reported. The additional problem today seems to be a general reluctance to actually punish-a sense that bully and victim are both 'victims' and need to be considered equally. As I commented on an earlier thread my daughter was badly bullied some years ago at Wimbledon High School-and we ended up moving her to another school (where she blossomed-she is now at university). We could never understand why very little action was taken and ,when it was, how ineffectual it was-despite the School noting that it had (and has) a strict anti-bullying policy. We ran into the 'if we can't see it happening then we can't take action' argument-even though we made it clear that the bullying was out of sight of teachers and much of it was via email and 'cyber'. Then we were told that the way to deal with bullies -rather than just simply telling them to stop-is to get bully and victim in a room and 'talk' to them together-which of course simply reinforces the bully's feeling that they will not be punished (and they never were). Of course frequent visits to the school only create in the school's mind the impression that the problem is with your child-again reinforced by your child becoming reluctant to go to school and isolating themselves which the school then say is why she is being bullied......For us we found ourselves completely unsupported and adrift (and we were paying fees for our daughter's schooling as well!) in a vicious circle. So we gave up in the end and moved her to a different school-where she was, thankfully never bullied again. Were we just unlucky or are schools failing in how they actually deal with bullying (as opposed to what they say they will do)?
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Bullying
for you and daughter. But glad she has succeeded so well.
Not in high school mode yet, but I have been v impressed by the stance taken at the infant and junior schools here
.....action taken on both personal and group level, pro-active in that there is an active anti-bullying message and focus on "good interactions" and "bad interactions" frequent assemblies focussed on empathy and standing up for others as well as yourself. Teachers prepared to listen and individuals talked to and parents involved...
Not sure about what direct 'punishment' could or should be involved for bullies but the approach above seems to have created a good atmosphere and there are 'quiet place' for children who are finding mixing a challenge (like one of mine) and buddies who look out for games turning against others as well as teachers and assistants who will step in.
Hope that Wimbledon High has upped it's game now.
Sorry to comment on an older post but I so agree with you OP.
In my son's primary school he was bullied relentlessly. I complained and complained, to teacher and to head. In every Governor's meeting the Head stood there and stated that there were no cases of bullying reported that month. I knew of at least three other parents in the same year group who had complained. In this situation the Head didn't want his school to look bad in the eyes of Ofsted etc, i.e. he didn;t deal with it due to pride. We moved schools.
In secondary school, DS had a great first year. At the start of year 8 a new boy (lets call him L) started and made my son's life hell. But not just my son, L was happy to stab anybody with a pencil, throw chairs at anybody, damage classroom stuff etc. As he found his feet in the new school he then became selective and picked mostly on my son. It came to a head when he brought in cigarettes and a lighter and was messing around with it at break, trying to set stuff alight. DS told me on the way home so I emailed the year head. L accused DS of telling on him - the yearhead told me that he had had several reports so DS was not the only one. L really hurt DS the next day. School did little, a lunchtime exclusion. DS became ill at this time. This was two years ago and DS is still ill. He is now home edded and thriving, he is still ill but the symptoms are manageable. Everytime L picked on someone he would then scream at them - "You can't touch me I have (insert SN here)" The Sn would be dyspraxia, adhd, asd etc. From other comments we believe he was expelled from his previous school. In this case the school did nothing apparently due to inability to punish him due to his conditions - i.e. they were too cowardly to do anything.
So ProtectiveDad, I wholeheartedly agree with you. Schools are too reluctant to deal with the bullies and would prefer the victims to leave. This, I believe, is down to the namby-pamby bleeding hearts brigade. Pupils do not have respect for teachers and until teachers can use real discipline pupils will never gain this respect. If pupils do not learn respect at this age, what hope do they have in later life.
Rant over 
Ds1 is being bullied and we went to look around another school, we're waiting for places, the heads response was that it would be classed as an unauthorised absence and a fine possibly issued. There have been issues with him being bullied for getting on two years and the school are refusing to deal appropriately or effectively with it.
The last week before half term ds was pushed over and jumped on so much his uniform was soaked through. My poor boy had to change into his pe kit and no communication given to me about why or how this had happened.
The schools answer is for ds to come inside with other child at lunch and breaks to stay out of the way of the others. 
the class teacher did say she will not be making examples of the bullies and isolating them for their behaviour.
Later that same week, ds was again pushed over and jumped on and had "X must die" chanted as he was being jumped on. Ds reported this to lunch time assistant, and told dh on the way home. So I called school immediately. They followed up with "midday assistant and child involved can't remember, so benefit of doubt that it didn't happen."
There have been several instances of name calling and other low level physical violence in the past and nothing is or has been done about it.
I am desperate for a place to come up somewhere else and strongly considering home ed until one does. I have lost all faith in the school and their abilities.
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