Purple Aptamil supplementing BF??? Sorry - long post...

[Paranoid1stTimer]

MIL has been trying to get me to give up BF from the start and has been recruiting as many female members of her coven as possible to help.

I don't have many people on my side and my mum died a few months back so I am feeling very unsupported. The only thing that is really keeping me BF is DH is trying to be as supportive as possible.

MIL told DH to give LO purple aptamil from a 4 hole fast flow teat (we havent as this teat she bought us is for 6months on). Also, turns out the bottles she bought us have stage 2 teats and I am now worried this is what is causing bad wind with LO as he takes his bottle of EBM pretty fast. MIL says he would get worse wind and fall asleep during a feed with the newborn teats - I tried LO on bottle of EBM using newborn teat and he did get really bad wind.

I have been expressing so DH can give last thing at night feed to help me so I can go to bed early and then I do all the night feeds by BF. However, LO has gone through another growth spurt and I couldn't express enough milk for a full feed so DH said he would just give LO blue aptamil. Unfortunately, he SAYS since it was late at night and the lights were low he picked up one of MILs purple aptamil and gave it to LO. As a result, LO slept all through til 5am but seemed to have terrible pain trying to poo and was farting a LOT during the night.

I have read lots of positive and negative info on giving 4 wk old baby purple aptamil as it can (allegedly) cause kidney problems (?!?) - do you think it is ok maybe 1 carton a couple of times a week when he is super hungry? After all, it does say from birth and "extra hungry" which LO is at the moment.

I think I am just looking for some advice as he is feeding so often just now, I am really struggling to express enough milk for him so the purple aptamil last thing at night seems to help but I dont want to upset his wee tummy or (allegedly) give him kidney damage!!! I know this might not be true - and DH has only been giving him this once a day or once every couple of days...

Please help - I feel so guilty not exclusively BF already and I do not wanna give up but it is so hard just now when he just wants to feed constantly...

[OracleInaCoracle]

no advice, but your mil sounds like a nightmare! well done for persevering, there are loads of fab and knowledgable women on here who can help you!

[tiktok]

Paranoid, do give one of the breastfeeding helplines a ring. They may not be able to talk with any knowledge of the difference between purple and blue aptamil, but you will be able to discuss ways of standing your ground about what you want to do with regard to infant feeding.

'Hungry baby' milk is casein-dominant. Purple Aptamil is, therefore, casein-dominant, which means the protein in it has not been modified very much from the original cows milk. This leads to thicker curds in the stomach which take longer to break down. Some babies show no effect from this, and others seem to suffer the sort of discomfort anyone does when their system has to work hard to digest something. There is virtually no decent research on this - this is observation and experience from mothers. Nutritionally, it is indeed permitted for sale for babies from birth. I have not heard the kidney thing anywhere.

It sounds to me that simply bf your baby with nothing else would be easier for you...if you had the confidence and support to do it. Expressing for a whole feed is hard for anyone to do, especially with a young baby who doesn't give you a lot of time to use with the pump. Most women at your stage would prob have to have 2 or even 3 sessions to get a whole feeds worth.

It's not good for babies to go a long time asleep - and it's not good for your milk supply. I'm assuming that when your baby slept until 5 am, you might have gone 8 hours or something without breastfeeding or expressing - that's not a disaster as a one off but regularly, it would mean less breastmilk, because it would reduce your supply.

Really, your MIL should stay out of this, and your DH should put his foot down! I mean, having strong views on the milk, and on the teats, and working against your bf, is OUT OF ORDER ...that's not support, that's bullying.

[OracleInaCoracle]

phew tiktok, was hoping you'd see this thread!

[tiktok]

More important that Paranoid sees it

[Paranoid1stTimer]

tiktok Thank you very much for your advice. Sometimes I hate myself for not sticking to my own mind and letting other people's (MIL)'s views affect me. I am going to contact BF support line just for some encouragement as I am starting to worry that maybe LO isnt getting enough or I am doing it wrong when I am feeding him myself and I am pretty sure it is directly from all the negativity from the in laws. I suppose although you think you are letting it wash over you, it must affect me deep down on some level. I sometimes feel like they would like it if I wasnt around at all so the BF thing must really bug them as it means the baby needs me more than he needs them at the moment. Sorry to sound so pathetic.

I am going to BF him myself all day today and not express or let him have formula and see how it goes. One day at a time maybe for this week anyway??? I feel a bit more determined again!

[OracleInaCoracle]

that sounds like a good idea, can you contact LLL? there may be some bf groups near you, sounds like you could do with some rl support!

[tiktok]

Good for you, Paranoid....and lissie's suggestion of meeting bf people in real life is excellent. You need good friends around you to support you

[OracleInaCoracle]

have you tried netmums? their local meet-a-mum board is vv good.

[Poohbah]

Dear Paranoid,

It is really normal for a baby to feed alot and it won't be long before all of this settles down but if you start fannying around with expressing and bottles it makes everything harder.

The next time your mother in in law says anything say " There is a huge body of scientific evidence which supports my decision to breastfeed for as long as I can and using bottles undermines that so I would be very grateful if you would support me to beastfeed as I know you want the best for your grandchild" if she argues hold up your hand like Margaret Thatcher and say "please respect my decision" An open palm literally pushes any opposition away.

[tiktok]

Poohbah, that's a great tip, seriously...love the palm up and the words about respecting the decision.

Paranoid - I'm just thinking again about the hassle you are having with the expressing and the bottles and the teats, and your baby is only 4 weeks I honestly don't think the formula and the expressing is helping your life in any way at all.

Make custard or something with the Aptamil - having it in the house is undermining you!

[OracleInaCoracle]

thats great poohbear, and agree with tiktok re expressing, making bottles etc undermining you. you are doing a great job and you deserve support!

[weasle]

hi there. i have been there with the in laws! made to feel selfish for feeding baby so no-one else could 'help'. constant 'do you have enough'?

i would strongly recommend stopping expressing and formula and just feeding. i got so stressed about expressing so that i could 'prove' how much milk i could get (not v much at all). there is so much pressure on you. it is normal for a 4wk baby to be feeding loads, in fact all the bloody time it seems, but it does get better.

how about your dh bathing with baby to do some bonding, and they can have that special experience together (doesn't help with your mil i agree, but it really helped us as a family and dh feel more involved)

good luck

[lulumama]

if they are concerned you don;t have enough milk, smile sweetly and say that the best way to guarantee supply meets demand, is for the baby to feed at the breast as often as he/she wants to. end of !

very sorry that your breastfeeding is being sabotaged

[oiFoiF]

Can you distance yourself from MIL a bit? She sounds lieka complete pain in the arse

[Clydesdaleclopper]

Expressing is a complete hassle so give yourself a break and just bf. If you're knackered and need more sleep try co-sleeping. Also agree with tiktok to get the formula out of the house - if it isn't there you won't be tempted to use it.

[emma1977]

As well as supporting you, can't your husband have a word with his mum and tell her to butt out?

[Ineedacleaner]

You have my sympathies. I know my MIL thought I was mad for bf I know some of her reasons were because she was woried about me struggling as ds had horrendous reflux so for a long time it was a round of feed, baby scream, baby sick, baby scream, feed...constantly. But my MIL knows me better than to actually come out and do or say anything against it directly. There was a day she would have done, and I put a stop to that. She did come out with the odd snide helpful comments though.

You do what you want to do. The feeding will settle down from my esperience of feeding my 2 you have got past the worst bit and got him feeding well.
Good Luck

[Trolleydolly71]

Message withdrawn

[susie100]

Well done for getting this far and it is great your DH is supportive. I would suggest you take to your bed with your baby and DH for a whole day and just feed, eat and drink, watch DVDs and coo over your baby.

I used to love feeding lying down with DH behind me having a big family cuddle, he also says it made him feel much more involved. Good luck and hope your MIL leaves you alone!