please come and talk to me about weaning 16mo dd, or not, I don't know

[vonsudenfed]

DD is 16 months old, and just has two bf each day, morning and night, but they are huge. (And, unless I am imagining this, they are getting bigger.)

I've not even thought about weaning her until now, as she was intolerant to dairy, but that seems to be wearing off, so I could. But it does mean she's never had milk to drink.

But I am worn out by the bf; I've always found it a bit hard and have had repeated bouts of thrush (I'm on Fluconazole for about the sixth time right now) and I am knackered beyond all belief, get every bug going, and just want to go to bed after her evening feed. And I am fat with a giant bust. Basically, I am fed up.

So, how do I wean her from this? Do I just go cold turkey on one feed, and change, say the morning feed to a cup downstairs (given by DH!) or do I give her some milk to try at another time first? Or do you think I should carry on (I was v pleased to still be bf a couple of months ago when she had a bug).

I don't know. Does anyone else?

[Bluestocking]

I gave up BFing DS when he was 18 months old. It was cold turkey - I had to spend five nights in hospital. DS was at home with DP and woke up a few times in the night but DP maintains that it was all pretty easy because I wasn't there with the magic milkers. It took a week for my milk to dry up and it was pretty uncomfortable but I'm glad it happened then. It made convalescing much easier and I suspect if I hadn't stopped then DS would still be BFing at four years old. I suppose the point of all this is to suggest that you go away for a few days and let DH get on with it!

[vonsudenfed]

lapin - thankyou, I'm glad it's not just me I am torn between being selfish, or half-dead, and at the moment, selfish is winning.

And as for the suggestion that I go away for a few days, I am about to print it out and stick it to the fridge...

[whomovedmychocolate]

I'd love to be able to wean DD (also 16 months) - she drinks over a pint of cows milk a day as well as three feeds from me. Though I don't think I've got much milk left (I'm 20 weeks pregnant). I just keep hoping she'll go off it.

[Bluestocking]

Do it, VonSF - breastfeeding a huge toddler is absolutely exhausting, it's no wonder your body hasn't the strength to shake off these repeated infections. Honestly, you'll be a new woman.

[ibblewob]

My LO is allergic to dairy - at 16 months you should be able to go onto Soya milk (which has all the vitamins and calcium etc) and make up the fat part in other ways (i.e. avacados etc).

Good luck!

[duomonstermum]

Great! I thought I was the only one still feeding... at least my health visitor made me feel like it! DD's 16mths and has NO intention of self weaning. I didn't have any problem with DS but she's a whole different kettle of fish She refuses to go to sleep without her boobies. I tried going out before her bed time to get DH to put her to bed. Came home 4hrs later to frazzled hubby and bright red child. Tried it for a week then gave up for our own sanity Definately going to try it this fortnight cos DH is on annual leave so I can take the boobies away. Hopefully we'll crack it this time!

[Pannacotta]

Have to go against the grain here (fed DS1 till he self weaned at 2 so do have some experience).
I don't agree that breastfeeding a toddler IS exhausting, I think extreme tiredness is often down to other factors.
IMHO self weaning is probably less stressful than enforcing weaning.
But of course its your call whether you wean or not.

[busywheels]

I have just weaned 15 month old DD. She was still having a bedtime feed and 'snacks' during the day. I introduced cows milk at bathtime some months ago as DS1 has to get her used to the idea. With both DC I have waited until we go away on holiday (so I can guarantee DP will be around for every bathtime!), then I have disappeared at bathtime and not reappeared until DD1 is safely in bed. It has been an easy process both times, which did surprise me. I feel liberated - well perhaps not but at least now I no longer need to be around at bedtime.

[EachPeachPearMum]

I stopped when dd was 17 months.
She was down to morning and evening only. One day I told her 'no milk' in the evening, as I figured she would be tired and go to sleep anyway (she always ate loads at teatime so she wasn't hungry). She cried for about 2 minutes. The second night for about 1 minute, and third night, she didn't even ask.

A week later I told her 'Mummy's milk all gone' in the morning. I also wore a dress that day, so there was no access! She cried the first day, but accepted it without fuss. She is now 2 (early feb) and has never once asked for it since.

I was lucky though- she was ready to stop, and comprehended what I was saying to her. Also she had never been one of those babies that grabs mummy's norks all the time for a quick snack IYSWIM!

I think she has forgotten about it now (sob) but there is some residual memory.... the other day when we were getting dressed, she pointed to DH's chest and said 'look'. He said ' yes, Papa's nipple'- her response was 'no like it!' then pointed to my chest and said 'like Mama's nipple!'

[new1mum]

Sorry to but in and change subject, but since quite a few people are following this thread, I thought I might post my question here and get soem feedback.

My sone is 8 months old, and is currently on antibiotics for a chest infection. This is messing up with his stomach and appetite. Does anyone have suggestions on how to tide over this.

[Tapster]

Back to the subject my DD is also 16 months and a boob addict. I have tried to cut one feed at a time (still 4-5 feeds a day though none at night). Each time I try one of us gets ill, she is ill again after her MMR and now I'm getting a cold. I actually have fewer colds than I normally do and I thought BFing was helping me. Also I only feel exhausted if DD feeding loads more with a stomach bug but thats probably because she isn't sleeping. I would like to stop but each time I try to cut feeds down she bursts into floods of tears. I'm ttcing no.2 again soon (after an early miscarriage) and hope that my milk supply dwindling will lead her to self wean or is it self delusion on my part. I can't handle the tears but I also can't handle the nagging from DH and MIL to wean. DD very bad on eating solids (always has been) so feel under pressure. I have also seriously contemplated cold turkey and leaving DH too it but he isn't keen

[duomonstermum]

Tapster, isn't it funny how they go on about it but seem to disappear when you mention leaving them to it I have to admit because she's the last one there's an element of holding on for as long as I can get away with it At least DS doesn't mind the lack of attention at bedtime but I think that's more to do with being 10 than anything else I've decided to be hard hearted and take the boobies away at bedtime. Tried it today but am to say she beat me..... I only thought she was stubborn!