Anon for this in case someone I know is reading
I am breastfeeding my four month old baby, and it's been going great. Mostly I enjoy it, though I often feel like I'd rather not - sometimes I feel sick of being pawed at and touched. Other times I get that warm glow and think I could do this forever. Well, not literally, but you know.
But at what point do you let other aspects of your life have importance? I don't know what to do - not right now necessarily but I don't know what to think about the future.
I put on a lot of weight during pregnancy due to illness, and I am now very unhappy with my body. Breastfeeding is not helping with my weight because my appetite is huge. So I'm eating a lot but I swear it is appetite led. I do not eat if I am not hungry. My body and shape are really getting to me. I wonder that if I stopped breastfeeding, my appetite would decrease and maybe I could actually burn off some of this fat?
Then of course, a complete absence of anything like a sex drive. I am just not interested. My partner is not pressuring me, or even mentioning it, we did talk about it ages ago and he accepted that I would probably not be keen on sex as long as I am exclusively breastfeeding and he did not have a problem with it. But I do, a bit. I want to want to have sex, if you know what I mean.
We have found adjusting to being parents a big struggle and it has nearly destroyed our relationship. Just lately we are getting back on track and enjoying each other's company, and I wish I wanted to rekindle a bit of intimacy. I feel like it would go a long way to repairing things. I have, in the past, had a long distance relationship, and the lack of physical contact was largely a reason for me ending it. I'm not worried about this happening here of course but it is important to me.
But then, of course, there is my baby. My PFB I want to put him before all of this. Already I can see what a huge comfort feeding is to him. I feed him to sleep, most of the time. Night feeds are almost serene, peaceful and lovely. He has started to 'chatter' to me after feeding, and well, nothing beats that feeling.
How can I reconcile all of these feelings? I don't want to stop breastfeeding, but I am fed up of what comes with it.
Sorry this is so long - it feels good to have written it all down, if nothing else.
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Infant feeding
Breast feeding, appetite, weight loss, and sex drive
23 replies
anotheranon · 19/02/2008 13:37
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