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Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Infant feeding

HELP - Need to stop bf my 2yr old ds

20 replies

cheekymummy · 18/01/2008 22:25

My ds has just turned 2 and has only ever bf, which don't get me wrong is great however I feel it needs to change. I don't feed him during the day anymore however during the night he can wake-up up to 6 times for feeds!! I have no alternative to give him milk wise as he's anaphylactic to dairy, milk, lactose and he doesn't like the taste of soya milk, rice dream or any of the others (the new prodict lactofree is no good either as it contains 0.05% lactose, even such a small amount would trigger an attack). I've tried him on every kind of bottle/teat possible and he just doesn't respond and to be fair I don't want him going on a bottle at 2yrs old either. I am slowly but surely coming to the end of my tether re no sleep and really think it must be no good for my ds either.

Has anyone been in the same situation?? What did you do?? Anyone out there with a child who has the same allergy - what would you suggest. I'm not at all worried about the calcium intake as he takes supplements.

I would really love to hear your suggestions, experiences and useful advice.

Many thanks

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3andnomore · 19/01/2008 22:15

no suggestions really, because I think the only way now is to simply refuse, but I think it would be very difficult and is quite a forceful intervention.
Not sure if maybe you would find some advice on teh Kellymom website?

Walnutshell · 19/01/2008 22:17

hmm, will save this thread - am also bfing 2.2yr old, no signs of stopping, waking in night more than - say - a year ago. But perservering at the moment!

as I say, will come back x

Pannacotta · 19/01/2008 22:21

Could you offer him water when he wakes in the night?
I think letting him have a bottle of water in the night might be your best bet, it wont do him any harm if its only water in it and sucking on a bottle will give some comfort. Does he have a dummy, that another option?
We give DS1 a bottle at bedtime (only since DS2 was born) and he is 3 now! He was breastfed till he was 2 so I see it as a kind of replacement for breastfeeding.
La Leche does offer some advice on weaning toddlers, try looking on their website.

FrannyandZooey · 19/01/2008 22:22

I would try night weaning and then you can still feed him during the day. It sounds very beneficial for him to have the milk, but you need to cut the night feeds. You could try No Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers, or there's a link I can find for you

FrannyandZooey · 19/01/2008 22:24

here's a very direct and clear method of night weaning for older children

these methods are hoepfully effective but not traumatic for the child. HTH

hunkermunker · 19/01/2008 22:24

I would say it's more of a sleep problem than a bf problem and with such restrictions on his milk intake, I'd be tempted to work on the sleep thing and keep bfing, but that only really works if you can be iron-willed and preferably have somebody to help you in the night to soothe him when he wakes.

FrannyandZooey · 19/01/2008 22:25

I am also wondering if you DID feed him during the day if he would be asking for so much milk at night? I don't really understand the circumstances, but offering lots of bmilk during the day may ease the problem by itself

Pannacotta · 19/01/2008 22:25

Thats a point, why not feed him in the day, perhaps first thing or just at bedtime if you want to limit it. That might well make night weaning MUCH easier.

fishie · 19/01/2008 22:33

i have had success with the exhaustion/wine mode. so no matter how hard ds tries i am not going to wake up (this can be faked for the tt or sprightly).

bigmouthstrikesagain · 19/01/2008 22:41

On the night and bf issue - I am feeding my (nearly 22m) dd day and night at the mo and it makes v little difference how much she feeds during the day she still wakes several times at night.

I am considering my options for stopping as dh and i would quite like our bed to ourselves now, but dd is having none of it!

mehdismummy · 19/01/2008 22:43

oh so with you there. My ds same age. Same waking. Also trying to stop co sleeping. Well if you can call it sleeping! There is a book someone recommended will look and get back to you

mehdismummy · 19/01/2008 23:04

omg may try that link from dr jay. Sounds good idea. Think i should wean him off bf then may be easier to get him in his own bed. Little sod just woke up in his big boy bed got out climbed into mine and demanded milk. Love him. Saw you fishie thanks for other day

Feenie · 19/01/2008 23:15

No advice, but am with you too. 2 year old ds is a milk monster - the least we have got down to is once morning and evening and once in the night. However, he was poorly over Christmas so feeds are back to more than I can count. Can't ever envisage a time when he won't want mummy milk (he won't drink anything else apart from water).

Feenie · 19/01/2008 23:23

FrannyandZooey, have tried Dr Jay Gordon a couple of times and my stubborn ds takes up to 2 weeks crying for 2 hours at a time until we achieve the desired result! And that's with me cuddling/sitting with him the whole time. Dr Jay says 'Now, he will tell you that he is angry and intensely dislikes this new routine' - how true this is of my ds!!
It does work eventually, but illness/teething/me being a wuss of a mummy make things slide back. This time I am holding back trying it again because I dread it so much.

Would just like to say though that I always look out for your advice because you sound like such a gentle mum

FrannyandZooey · 20/01/2008 10:22

Oh gosh well I am quite clear about what I think I SHOULD be doing, that is different to actually doing it unfortunately

sorry to hear Jay Gordon thing was such a trial for you - I must admit when ds was about 2 I tried night weaning and it caused him such horror and grief - even the suggestion of it, really - that I gave the whole idea up. I think if I was in a situation like the OP where my child really needed breastmilk but I couldn't hack the nights, I would probably give it a go, though

Feenie · 20/01/2008 20:41

When did he wean completely, Franny? Now that ds is 2 I'd like to stop soon, but don't want to traumatise him.

FrannyandZooey · 21/01/2008 11:15

we left it up to him, although I worked quite hard to stop the early morning one which i really was sick of

he was nearly 4 when he decided to stop and I think partly there was no milk left - probably because I had cut feeds down so much

I felt very sad at the time, if you had told me that when he was 2 i would have laughed! it had become only pleasant and easy by that stage though, a lovely way to relax together at the end of the day

FrannyandZooey · 21/01/2008 11:17

have you seen that LLL book "how weaning happens?" it is good for gentle weaning at any age (although their top advice is to let the child choose, they also have suggestions for what to do if you do decide on weaning)

I would lend you mine but a friend has it. It is well worth a read.

Feenie · 21/01/2008 22:20

Thanks, will take a look.

cheekymummy · 22/01/2008 23:43

Thank you all so very much for your suggestions, comments and just general understanding and support. I really don't know which road I will go down. Over the last few nights (not logged on since I posted my plight) I've not felt it to be such a burden so mabie it was a release just to talk about it

I am going to have a look at the various web sites and books suggested as it's always good to know.

Hope all of you in the same boat (didn't realise so many were !!) are making headway and get a good nights sleep tonight - I sure hope I do DS only woke 3 times last night

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