Breastfeeding Cape thingy... Help

[Trimum2]

There was a link in one of the threads a few weeks back for a cape / shawl thingy that you could wear that would cover you when feeding.

I have feeding at motorway service stations and inlaws ahead of me over the christmas break. I am dreading it as have only had one attempt to feed in public so far (with a blanket) which ended in disaster and a bottle.

that was bearable as it was only a once off at a birthday party, but we are away at inlaws for a week and can't bear to think about what i am going to do.

Although DS is 4 months I always have to get boobs out to feed. My one public adventure was with a blanket over the shoulder, but that kept slipping off and I was so paranoid about hoiking it up that I upset LO and he refused to feed and just screamed instead. I guess my stress about feeding in public didn't help either!

So figured investing in one of these shawl things would be a smart thing to do as it would reduce my stress level and spare everyone's blushes at my inlaws. Its not just DH parents, but DH brothers, sister and brother in law. I am dreading it

Thanks in advance!

[TheBlonde]

link

otherwise I would recommend some of the bf tops - I just got a carriwell one and it is good

[policywonk]

Wot, the dreaded hooter hiders? Some on eBay.

Ha ha, when you Google 'hooter hiders' for the UK you get that thread.

Sorry to hear that you're finding it stressful.

[moondog]

Oh Trimum,how awful for you to be worrying like this.
Have you practiced in front of a mirror or gone to a breastfeeding group to pick up some tips on how to feed in a way that makes you feel more comfortable/
Tbh,the cape thing is the equivalent of shrieking 'LOOK AT ME!!!YES, I HAVE FLOPPED 'EM OUT UNDER THIS CONTRAPTION!!' so perhaps not the wisest move.

How about a muslin over your shoulder nad feeding pointing away from everyone? Sensitive people should feel your tension and move away.

Really hope you can sort it out. Feeding your baby the way he should be fed shouldn't be worrying you so. Really it shouldn't.

[susiecutiemincepies]

i was going to say something along the lines of moondog... you ought not be feeling worried and stressed about feeding in public, in the most natural way possible.

Practice at home, with a mirror if needs be... once the baby is there, you can pull you top down a little over the boob and your arm you prop your babys head on covers the 'view' from that angle... IYSWIM?

My DH used to worry about me feeding in public. He was uneasy about other people seeing my boobs, and also worried that someone might come and say something neagative to me. we went to a pub for lunch one sunday. Timed it badly and needed to feed DD ( 3 months at time i think) he was so stressed about it. I sent him to the bar, whilst he was there, I got her latched on, no-one noticed. He came back, i'd been feeing her infront of him for a bout half an hour, before he said, well, at least she settled without needing a feed after all

Can I ask you what it is that worried you about feeding in public?

the other thing i can suggest that i saw a friend doing in the early days, she tucked a muslin under her bra strap on the side she was feeding. Cheap and easy... and in the right place.... she does now just feed whenever and where ever no worries at all, no muslin... her DS is just over 12months.

I hope you can feel more positive about it soon, or at least find a solution that works for yo both.

[lemonaid]

If you don't feel comfortable bf in public I think a breastfeeding top will be easier to manage than a blanket.

I had this one and it was great.

If you still feel insecure you could drape a muslin somewhere

[Astrophe]

Oh, you poor thing. Try not to worry - if anyone has a problem its their problem. You WILL get the hang of it and it will be easier.

I do feel for you though - I remember.

In the meantime, get a big muslin cloth ( these fabulous, HUGE muslins cannot be beaten - get them if you can, you will get loads of use from them as they are so much bigger than normal - great for swaddling, a sun shade...) er...where was I...ok, get a big muslin and tuck it under your bra strap, then throw it over your baby's head and feed under it.

Much cheaper than a special feeding thingy, and many more uses too.

Good luck

[lemonaid]

(OT - oooh, big muslins for swaddling what a good idea. I will have to invest in some for the summer months)

[Astrophe]

I get sooooo excited about those big muslins (lame ). I have some and I lend them to everyone who has a newborn. They are very useful over the buggy in summer when baby is beyond swaddling, and hard for houdini baies to break out of when swaddles. You'll need to get them posted from Australia though, but they are pretty light...

[lemonaid]

DS was a bit of a Houdini, so I had been thinking of investing in a staple gun for this one so that's a definite plus.

(sorry for the hijack, Trimum2)

[hunkermunker]

What position are you using to feed? Some are more discreet than others (I used the cross cradle position for a while with DS1 and that was a bit more flesh-on-show than the cradle hold).

Have you thought about investing in a sling? Probably a pouch or ring sling best for bfing in and you won't look like a superhero wrestling a puppy

[weeonion]

trimum - i have a black bf top that i am finished with. you are welcome to have it for free if it woudl be any use to you. i also used a shawl/ poncho thing in the past before i got my confidence up. (dd is 7mths now and therre is no stopping us with public bf now!! )

let me know yr size & if you want
L dot thompson773 at ntl world dot com

[babieseverywhere]

I used a Boob Tent I bought off Ebay, with was my lifeline for the first couple of months.

After I got more confidant about NIP and my DD started objecting to the cover, I passed it on to another brand new mother at the local (great) breastfeeding support group.

[babieseverywhere]

with which

[KristinaM]

H&M sell Bf tops, which just look like normal t shirts

i agree with everyone else about BF in front of a mirror.you will probably be surprised at how little you can see. the main hazard IME is when teh baby is big enough to pull up your top then coems off suddenly to have a look around teh room. But your Ds is too small for all that malarky yet

by that time you will be an expert

i have been Bf everywhere for the last 3 1/2 years ( 2 babies) and can honestly say i have NEVER had a negative comment from anyone.

no one in my Dh family Bf their kids and i'm sure they think i am barking, but they are all too polite to comment . i love them all

[NaeDanger]

h&m BF tops are great and only about a tenner. get lots.

the fact is that if you feel uncomfortable feeding in public no amount of "well you should 'cause it's natural" is going to change how you feel. the best thing to do is find a way to feed that you DO feel comfortable with.

get BF tops, use muslins, of cape things, or leave the room. i always found it was the perfect excuse to go have a few minutes alone with my baby (and dh would join us sometimes too.)

[monkeybird]

Also if you want BF tops, Mothercare do a limited range now, including some vests and some that are more T shirtlike. Not v glamorous IMHO but practical...

Other tips - some nicked from this list but recently V useful for me include:

• two loose vests - one goes under the boob, the other over; or just a vest under a loose top - this stops the belly on show moments...
  
  

• I now have about 8 million cardigans: they're immensely useful for sort of pulling over your arm (where the baby's head is) to cover up your sides.

• Tesco (F&F) were selling a nice black wrap thing that sort of throws over your shoulder or clips at the neck - I have found this Very useful for discreet feeding. I don't know if they're still on sale though. Or just buy a poncho (ARE there still ponchos...?)

If you're using Cross cradle hold still, just edge your top down a bit, then just slip your other arm under your baby's head and your hand once latched on, and nobody will see a thing. And if they do, just either ignore them, they'll almost certainly not say anything. Any starers, just wink at em' and choose between 'I know! Aren't I clever?!' or 'Want some?' depending on your levels of confidence and humour!

I'm sure it will be much better than you think with your in-laws, and I've found sitting down with a quick 'Did you BF your children?' works quite well sometimes to help everyone get used to it...

[Trimum2]

Thanks The Blonde, that was the one.

I am so bad ... I use a pillow and cross cradle (i guess its called). And pull down so everything on show at home!

I think I am more stressed about the in-laws than strangers in the motorway stations when I actually think about it! I know that all 4 of my hubbie's family were bottle fed. But I know that DH family line has all sorts of allergy issues and health complications so I feel ready to say something if anyone passes comment as BF-ing DS is the best chance he has of fighting some of the dodgy inheireted stuff he may get.

I think I will be brave and have a few trial runs in the cafes close to home before ordering and use some of the suggestions above (muslins clipped, BF tops etc.). I think where I went wrong the last time was it wasn't tucked or clipped in and so kept falling down as DS wriggled and then I got all stressed and so did he.

I have some BF tops, but maybe I should just practice actually making use of them properly... and like you say in front of a mirror.

I will also have a look in Asda, Tesco, Primark etc. and see if they have any ponchos or wraps that are cheap.

I love feeding him and feel so proud that I have been able to go fo this long. But I feel terrible that I cant manage it outside.

Thank you everyone for your suggestions.

[hunkermunker]

Thought it might be partly a positioning thing - have you tried the cradle hold recently? I found that once DS1 had got better at latching and my supply settled down so that I wasn't spraying milk all over my lap when he unlatched, cradle hold was fine.

Give it a go again and see how you get on, maybe?

[Highlander]

I tried all this with DS1, briefly.

All the faffing around arranging muslins, capes blah de blah, just makes you, and the hungry baby, more tense.

Practice at home. See what clothing allows you to whip your norks out and get latched on, with a miniumum dispaly of said norkage. I find wearing a gillet/cardigan sufficient.

I have to say, having just re-read your post, 4 months is an awful time for BFing as the wee buggers get very distracted in public. With both my DSs I always sloped off to another room, to ensure they got a good feed as opposed to an on-off battle with noise around us.

[SoupDragon]

As an alternative, I came across this a few weeks back. Less obtrusive than the tent.

[Tapster]

Found BF a great excuse to escape DH's relatives during Christmas last year and retreat to another room with a book and BF. I'm not one of those worried about BF in public and I've only had positive comments. Now BFing a 1 year old in public - sofa in Mothercare today nobody took any notice.