guilty bottle feeder

[pattymc]

I'm not looking for sympathy, I stopped bf at 5 weeks and ds now 10 weeks and had a snuffly cold since I stopped, sometimes slight nose bleed too, I can't help blame myself for not continuing with the bf. Am I going to feel like this when ever ds gets ill and will he ever get rid of this cold? I would be so grateful for any advice

[Amberjee]

pattymc, motherhood is just one big guilt trip after another anyway even if you do BF. i should have immunised/i shouldn't have immunised/i shouldn't have gone back to work/i should have let him socialise more at nursery. you know what i mean. even BF kids get colds. mine just had a horrible fever recently and i was worried like hell. he's been BF all the way. if you need some light relief you could take this quiz to find out if you are a good or bad mum quiz
seriously, i don't mean to take your post lightly, but i'm sure you are doing a fab job at this mummy business. he will get better with all the love and care you give him. xx

[MaureenMLove]

I don't normal get involved in the bottle/breast debate, mainly because my dd is 12 now, so its nothing to do with me, but I couldn't help replying to you, since no-one else has yet!

I don't know all the rules these days, but I can't help thinking that you are beating yourself up! He may well have got a cold even if you carried on b/f. Its the time of year. I only b/f for about 5 weeks solid too and my dd has developed quite normally, with no terrible colds or illnesses and even if she did, I certainly wouldn't have blamed myself.

Sorry if its not the advise you wanted, but personally I feel that you felt that you could no longer or didn't want to b/f anymore, then you've done the right thing. Your son will be fine, regardless of whether his is still being b/f or not. As I said, Im not in 'the loop' for this anymore, but I was always told the first month is the most important and you've done that.

I'm sure I will now be shot down in flames by those who know the rules, but I hope I've helped you anyway.

[ADragonIs4LifeNotJustHalloween]

You'd still manage to feel guilty even if you'd bf til he was 2

FWIW, DD was exclusively breastfed until 6 months old. She had a cold continuously from about 4 months on. For at least 10 months.

[Amberjee]

Maureen, there are no 'rules' in parenting, just choices.

[ADragonIs4LifeNotJustHalloween]

And I wasn't aware that this was a bottle/breast debate...

[MaureenMLove]

No it isn't. I was just a little scared to say something like 'it doesn't matter' incase I upset anybody! I know how quickly threads can change!

[chipmonkeyPumpkinNorks]

pattymac, might he be intolerant to cows milk? Just wondering if he'd do better on a dairy-free formula?
OR, and I say this tentatively!! you might be able to relactate? It wouldn't be easy and you would probably need the help of a bfc but might be worth considering?

[ScottishMummy]

pattymc - Congratulations on your gorgeous wee baby regardless of how your baby is fed a mother's instinct it to be fiercely protective/nurturing/thinking about this and that 24-7 it goes with the territory.

i have all the anxious first timer tendencies...still do

don't overlook the wonderful things you also do.bottle feeding is no big deal, so don't let it become one

[CrushWithEyeliner]

oh gosh it probably has nothing to do with you stopping bfeeding. Don't feel guilty please. It is really hard those first weeks but things really improve.
Use Vicks and a humidifier for the cold - they work wonders...

[mossycow]

I feel guilty sometimes giving her a bottle just at night..... but then I consider the alternative (for me): feeling knackered all the time - can;t be good for baby.

Think about your reasons for taking up bottle feeding. Was it so that other people could feed him? So that you could rest/have body back/not get sore? Convience? Cos you're working? Cos I reckon if you stopped for any of these reasons your son is possibly beter off.....?

I know I feel I'm a better Mum cos I'm not as knackered during the day and because friends/family etc can give her the occasional bottle.

[Pruners]

Message withdrawn

[chipmonkeyPumpkinNorks]

Pruners, snap! pattymc, ignore us both if you want! I only suggested it because the snotty nose seemed to coincide with the end of bf. My ds1 used to get a horrendous snotty nose if he drank cows milk but was fine with goats milk. He was over 2 though.