Bf dc2 when dc1 is a toddler.......

(10 Posts)
Nottalotta Sun 04-Sep-16 21:09:59

I clearly remember saying, in the early days of bf ds, that I didn't know how anyone could do it with a toddler. I was feeding constantly.

So......dc 2 is on the way. Ds will be 19/20 months. How on earth do I bf the new baby with ds needing.... well, the stuff that toddlers need (time, supervision, food etc!!)

Mybeardeddragonjustdied2016 Sun 04-Sep-16 21:11:25

Snacks
Dvds
Books
TV

Nottalotta Sun 04-Sep-16 21:14:48

I need to try and interest him in TV then. He won't watch it. I've tried. Got a few months to try I suppose. Even so, I think I will struggle. Maybe dc2 won't feed as often......

rhuhbarb4 Sun 04-Sep-16 21:23:08

I don't know exactly how I did it but dc1 was 1 year when dc2 was born and breastfed and dc1 was 3 and dc2 was 2 when dc3 was born and breastfed. You muddle through and do it somehow. I did find a balance of sometimes letting the baby cry and dealing with the other 2 and then other times the other 2 had to wait and were told how important it was to feed her because she was a a baby. They were both so interested in the baby though that they used to sit with me while I breastfed. I also managed to perfect the walk/do washing up/ any job that needed doing whilst breastfeeding.

LifeIsGoodish Sun 04-Sep-16 21:24:01

Get ds1 used to being next to you, rather than in your lap. So lots of side-cuddles, for example. Read with ds1 sitting snugged up next to you, with him holding the book on a cushion in his lap. This will become his norm, and you will be able to bf and read/cuddle at the same time, without him feeling displaced.

Coconut0il Sun 04-Sep-16 22:15:59

I don't think I could've done it if the baby fed as much as DS2. I couldn't move from the sofa for longer than 10 mins.
With DS1 it would've been easier as he had much longer gaps between feeds.
I've never done it but one of my good friends could feed her newborn in the sling while playing with her eldest so there must be a way.

LifeIsGoodish Mon 05-Sep-16 06:34:38

Yes, a sling that you can feed in is very useful.

Nottalotta Mon 05-Sep-16 07:43:48

That's my worry coconut. I guess I will do what I can. Hard to plan for when I've no idea what the baby will be like!

Coconut0il Mon 05-Sep-16 22:50:41

Definitely, just have to go with it I think! You'll be fine, hopefully you'll get a totally chilled out, good sleeping/feeding onesmile And if not it soon passes and at least you'll have all the sleepless nights over with in one go!

Lalunya85 Sun 11-Sep-16 15:25:21

I could have written your post Op, including the bit about refusing to watch TV.

My DS was 20 months when DD was born. I had no idea how I was going to manage the breastfeeding either, as my son had spent hours latched on to my breast and would just suckle and suck for ages.
When DD was born she was a completely different feeder. She would have her fill which would take about 15 minutes and then be done with it for at least a couple of hours. I think second born babies tend to be easier maintenance because you have to ignore them a bit right from the beginning.

I would feed my daughter while playing Lego with my son or singing a sing together. I would feed her while he slept. I would feed her in the park while he was running around. I also fed her standing up while running after my son at play group to prevent him from escaping.

But my toddler also had to learn that his needs sometimes had to wait because baby needed feeding/changing/cuddling. It wasn't an easy lesson to learn, but he is a very gentle and protective older brother now at least 50 per cent of the time. I think it is key to involve your toddler in everything you are doing for the new baby. In my experience, the more responsibility you give to a toddler, the more responsible they behave. He can bring you water, a muslin cloth, a baby blanket, a soft toy; he can sing nursery rhymes for the baby or draw her a picture etc.

Good luck. I promise it will be so much fun having two. It's a great age gap. My youngest is about to turn 1 and my son is 2.8. They keep each other company already so my life has effectively become easier. Id rather have both of them at home with me than just one! The first few months can be tough, but you'll be just fine.

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