Is it possible to BF successfully 2nd time round?

[suzanneme]

Hello ladies, I'm new here! Just wanted to ask a question. I had absolutely no luck at all BFing DD 2 years ago (she was born by c-section and was in SCBU for 12 hours with breathing problems - by the time she was back with me she'd had several bottles [no-one asked if that was O.K. with me] and was quite decided that that was where milk comes from. She refused to latch on and after everyone had had a go at persuading her over several days we all gave up. She did get some expressed BM for a couple of weeks, but I couldn't maintain a supply pumping). I am now pregnant with #2 and dreading going through all the stress and possible failure and guilt of trying and failing all over again. Also, have found out it's a boy and for some reason I feel a bit odd about BFing a boy - no idea why.

Any success stories out there from 2nd timers, and tips? A large part of me wants to go straight to bottle feeding as I feel I just don't know HOW to BF (hospital is awful too - last time I was told that they were too busy every time I needed help!).

[Chandra]

Hi, welcome to Mumsnet, I can not say much because as I have also just post in another thread I couldn't breastfeed DS for the time I wanted to do, however I simpathise with you in dreading to go through the same again (we are considering a second baby and ...hopw I don't attract a rage but the thing I dread the most is breastfeeding) however, from what I have seen here in Mumsnet, every baby is different, mother's who have succesfully breastfed a baby or two find difficult to breastfeed the third or mother who couldn't breastfeed their first child are succesfully breastfeeding the second or third. So, let pray both us and our babies be succesful in this second try!!!

[KateandtheGirls]

Yes, you can do it!!!

I tried and tried to nurse my eldest. She was a preemie and was in the NICU for 3 days. She was also given a little bit of formula by bottle her first night, which I wasn't happy about, but apparantly her blood sugar was very low.

The hospital staff were very good about breastfeeding in my case and gave me lots of encouragement, advice and practical help (e.g. the nurse sprinkling glucose water on my nipples to try to get her to latch on (she just licked it off!)). But she just wouldn't do it. When she was released from the hospital at 3 days old they all thought she would start nursing once we got home and were able to really make a go of it, now that she wasn't being hydrated with an IV. That didn't happen though. We spent the first 24 hours trying to get her to latch on (with a break every 3 hours so I could pump). When I talked to someone at the hospital after she hadn't taken a drop in those 24 hours they were very surprised and told me the most important thing was to get any kind of milk inside her. By that point she wouldn't even take a bottle, she was jaundiced which made her sleepy and not hungry. Her not eating made the jaundice worse. We thought she would end up back in the hospital, but she finally started taking the bottle. All this time I kept trying to nurse her before giving her a bottle but she refused. I mean she was screaming, arching her body away from my breast.

At 3 weeks old I developed mastitis, had a fever of 103 degrees, and she was losing weight even though she was taking the bottle. Her doctor's thought was that she was so tired from being forced to try and nurse that she wasn't interested in the bottle, and that I needed to stop trying to nurse her and concentrate on bottle feeding. He told me I could pump and give her expressed breast milk, but by that point I was so tired of it (and ill) that that's when I gave up. That was the turning point. She started eating more by bottle and put weight on and was healthy and happy.

I was really upset about not being able to breastfeed her though, and I was determined to breastfeed #2. Thankfully with her it was a whole different story. She latched on in the delivery room, and in fact couldn't get enough of me for the first year of her life. I had the opposite problem. She was nursing all the time and was cranky when she couldn't! I nursed her until 17 months.

So if you're still reading this huge post, my point is that what happened with number 1 has no bearing on number 2. Try and get as much support as you can, and go for it. It really is worth it!

[fairyprincess]

Dear Suzanneme,
Ever bf experience is different. You can use your past experience to help you bf this time. BF as soon as possible after the birth, get as much of the areola around the nipple into the baby's mouth as poss. Check positioning (I had a cs 2nd time & can appreciate the probs a cs causes to getting baby into a good bf position). Usual positioning advice is 'nose to nipple, tummy to mummy and spine in line' Feed on demand - helps to establish your milk supply. Tell the hospital no bottles or dummys and if poss have the baby stay next to you not in the nursery. If poss talk to a breastfeeding counsellor - the nct have a phone line for this (I don't know the number)
Please don't feel bad about what happened first time around - this knowledge will help you this time

[frogs]

Hi suzanne

Poor you, with your dd, what an upsetting thing to happen. SCBU are often not as well-informed about bfeeding as they should be.

Yes, you can bfeed 2nd time round -- if the hospital are useless, perhaps you can contact your primary care trust and ask if they have a breastfeeding advisor? Or your GP may be able to suggest someone. Lots of Sure Start schemes seem to have breastfeeding support groups, and of course the NCT will have someone who can help you. You really need to find someone who has time to talk it all through with you, don't you?

If your new baby needs to spend any time away from you, ask if he can be given milk down a tube. This was done with my dd1 and my ds, who both spent a few days in SCBU, and were given additional feeds via a tube put down their noses into their stomachs. It sounds awful, but doesn't seem to bother the baby, and doesn't interfere with the breastfeeding reflexes the way a botttle will.

[dinny]

Hi Suzanne, your post really touched a cord with me. I'm in the same position (just started a thread before I saw this one "Will BF upset toddler?" I've decided to have a birth and postnatal doula to help me establish bf. Don't know if this is something you'd do?

Katieandthegirls - my experience is so similar to to yours. My dd1 pre-term (35 weeks) and they gave her bottle as low blood sugars. She was jaundiced and sleepy and it was as if she HATED by boob after getting milk from a bottle. Arched away from it and went crazy every time I tried to latch her on. I didn't ask for enough help, so wish I had. I still cry about the fact I didn't bf her. Your experience has given me hope for feeding number two. I'd be interested to know your response to my thread about if feeding number two upsets number one? Thanks for posting. It's really helped. Dinny x

[chatee]

sorry this has to be a quick reply but YES it can be done,my dd was born 7 weeks prem and in scbu and just couldn't do it-i expressed for about a month as started to struggle and had nowhere to turn for advice, i now have a ds of 13.5 weeks who also went to scbu but only for 12 hours and he was born at 38 weeks but must have read the bf book before he arrived as he took to it straight away, in fact too good at it as he will not take a bottle of ebm for no-one!!!!
my freezer is becoming a milk bank
good luck

[prettycandles]

Yes you can! I really struggled with ds, he went on to formula at 2weeks because he had lost over 1lb since birth. I kept trying to breastfeed him and went on to mix-feed for 5 more months. With dd I had excellent support and breastfed succesfully - I;m still feeding her at 17m. Still can't quite believe it!

My dh was a tower of support, as were the NCT Breastfeeding Counsellors and my god-sent HV.

I'm in a rush now, so can't post much, but will come back to this thread and if you want to know anything more that I can help with I will if I can. This is a subject that is close to my heart.

BTW - You need to feel comfortable with your decision. If you truly want to go straight to bottles, then that is your choice, and it's OK. Have no illusions: I found it no easier or less stressful the second time around. I don't mean to be discouraging, but I don't want to be falsely optimistic either.

[collision]

Hi.......am PG with baby 2 and would really like to BF. Have a 2 yr old as well and know it will be tricky. Was not as comfortable as I thought I would be at BFing and really want to do better next time as I only BF for 14 weeks and expressed most of it.

If you dont mind me hijacking slightly, could someone tell me the best technique to BF? Im abroad now and so the advice might be different now. Do I empty one breast straight away or do 20 mins both sides? How long should baby be on each side? Do I do one side for one feed or both sides for one feed?

Sorry to hijack but maybe you have these questions too, suzanne!!

[marthamoo]

Sorry to hijack thread but hi collision! I posted a thread looking for you the other day cos I haven't seen you around for a while. Glad you're OK!

[podgegl20]

Hello, i didn't manage to breastfeed ds1 but did ds2. I made sure the midwife was aware that i wanted to try it with ds2 and i had skin to skin contact immediately after his birth. Then after about and hour, in subdued lighting, the midwife helped ds2 latch on. He was quite a hungry baby and i basically fed on demand although sometimes made the mistake of feeding when he probably wasn't hungry just grisly.
Anyway i felt really good at being able to do it second time round. My advice would be to try and have skin to skin contact, feed quite quickly after the birth and follow your instincts rather than letting others tell you what they think you should do.
Good luck!

[suzanneme]

Thanks for all of your very helpful and encouraging info and support on this, ladies. It's brilliant to hear that you can succeed 2nd time round and I'll certainly give it my best shot (you've changed my mind about wanting to go straight to bottles). This time am going to the hospital armed with nipple shields too (one relatively flat nipple - hadn't even HEARD of shields last time!), and DH is under strict instructions that no-one is to give the baby a bottle if he has to go to SCBU too. You're all marvellous; thanks ever so much.

[Joshjunior]

My problem was that I didn't produce any milk. No kidding - ds went down from 6lb 9 to 5lb 7 and ended up very ill in SCBU on a drip for a week. I expressed for 14 weeks and on my best day ever managed to get 15mls of milk in 24hrs of expressing. I'm thinking of trying for number 2 - what are my chances of producing something the next time around. (BTW I did ask my midwife on a weekly basis why my boobs had not changed size at all - they will she said - they never did!)

[prettycandles]

Joshjunior, my boobs have never changed size during pregnancy, nor in the first weeks after the milk has 'come in', as everyone says they're supposed to, but after at least a couple of months of feeding. I guess we're not the average woman!

[eddm]

Hi Collision, I'm not an expert but I think the 20 mins each side advice is very old-fashioned and now frowned upon. The advice I had from NCT and another breastfeeding counsellor last year was to feed from one side until baby's full, then wind, then offer the other side if you think it's necessary (but my ds could feed for Britain on one side only). It ensures baby gets enough of the richer hindmilk as well as the foremilk. Too much foremilk from switching sides too soon = one very gassy baby!

[honeybunny]

Suzanneme- failed miserably with ds1 yet bf ds2 exclusively until he was 11.5mo when he'd decided he'd had enough. Each baby and bf experience is different. I'm now pg again and hope I get another good bfeeder as I loved the experience. Good luck!
Joshjnr- I had big probs with productivity with my first. He just wouldnt suck and nothing ever seemed to be coming out. My "let down" reflex seemed to be non-existent. It was completely different with ds2. He'd suck for England... up to 1.5hrs at a time if ds1 would let him, and although one of my boobs dried up (apparantly taste wasnt up to much as ds2 would always fret and refuse it!)I was able to carry on until he was 11.5mo when he decided he'd had enough. As others have said, each experience of bf is different! Go for it and try not to worry. Get as much help as you need to from bf counsellors etc