Don't know if I can do this all again

[jessifleur]

Newborn son slept well for first couple of days but now he cries all the time from gas pain. He doesn't sleep for more than about an hour at a time which I means I don't sleep for more than about 40 mins by the time I've bfed him, burped him
and settled him to sleep. Our first son was exactly the same so I know how hard this is going to be: am currently sitting here crying in time with my baby, despairing at another four months of no sleep, exhaustion, feeling like the worlds most useless mum and frayed nerves - plus a toddler on top. I know I will get through it because I have before but at the moment it feels insurmountable.
Sorry that this is just an emotional wallow and not actually asking for any advice, sometimes I think you just need to put things out into the world to make them seem a bit more manageable.

[TiesThatBind]

Jess I sympathise hugely. My DS2 is 8 weeks and from week 4 has had horrible gas pain which wakes him constantly throughout the night. DS1 was the same and didn't sleep through till ten months.

It was torture the first time. This time I do at least know it won't last forever, but the pressure of trying to play with my toddler and keep him happy as well is making life feel really hard. (The mastitis not helping either!)

I keep telling myself this stage will pass quickly and someday soon I will have two little boys laughing together. Good luck, hope your DS2 settles into a better pattern soon .

[jessifleur]

Thank you, you don't know how much that means xxxx

[User24689]

Jess my daughter is 3 weeks old and we are going through the same. She's my first and it's a massive shock! I'm finding it tough too, haven't slept more than 2hrs in a row since she was born and most nights she wakes hourly. Last night was the worst yet, she wanted feeding constantly, my nipples felt raw and I just sat and sobbed. We will get through it!

[QuiteLikely5]

Op

Have you thought about giving a little peppermint tea through a syringe?

Buy quality caffeine free peppermint tea from the shop and make in a cup as if doing it for yourself. Once it is cool take some in a syringe or use a spoon to put a few drops in babies mouth.

It truly is the greatest thing for trapped wind. Turkey and Poland use teas in the same way but here they don't tell you.

[jessifleur]

Thank you wolves, I'd convinced myself that it was my 'turn' for a baby that sleeps but yes we will get through!
And thank you likely, I'll try the peppermint tea - I'll try anything

[jessifleur]

And my Mum's coming to stay from Monday - she'll look after me!

[TiesThatBind]

Jess - I thought the same! Was so convinced that this time I would get a sleeper...looks like that is not to be!

I am trying baby probiotics but haven't had much effect yet (although some people swear by them). Will also give the peppermint tea a go.

Glad your mum is coming, mine has been a lifesaver.

[Sillysausage2]

Can I join in too?? DS is 3 weeks and seems to be full of wind.
He sleeps great during the day but then from evening all through the night is up on the hour. His tummy feels hard like he has wind but nothing seems to bring it up.
He does a bit of gagging too so GP prescribed Gaviscon. I think the problem is more wind though so haven't given it yet
My first was a very easy baby so don't know what to do here!

[jessifleur]

Welcome to the burpy trumpy baby gang Sillysausage, who wouldn't want to join this gang?!

[ScarletBegonia1234]

I don't know if it's any help but my ds was exactly the same from 3 weeks. I tried herbal tea, infacol colief etc but nothing helped. Through trial and error I realised that it was worse after I ate certain foods (in my case wholewheat pasta, onions or tomatos).as soon as I cut then out he was a different baby! Might be worth considering .....if you are bf obviously!

[Sillysausage2]

Thanks scarlet, I am bf and have cut out milk since Tuesday to see if it makes a difference.
I don't even know what's wrong with him whether it's colic or silent reflux so it's hard to know what to do for it.
I just tried to give him Gaviscon in some expressed milk and he's having none of it!

[ScarletBegonia1234]

I had already cut out dairy and soy from 3 weeks...it took about 5 days but his reflux improved massively. The gas and bloating was still a huge problem though. He also was only pooing every 3 to 4 days. I kept thinking I must be accidently having dairy until I realised it was other things I was eating too(I cut out the rest at 14 weeks)! He now poos twice a day and isn't in pain from 2 am onwards but we have occasional bad days as it's hard to check everything! Hes 19 weeks now and the last 5 have been a dream compared to before. I know a lot of babies improve as they get older as their guts mature and can cope better, but hopefully if you find something in your diet you may see a rapid improvement well before then.

Its a pain eliminating things from your diet but worth it for the sleep! I suggest oat milk it's amazing for tea and cereal etc. Let me know if you need any more help with eliminating stuff or alternatives to eat I'm an expert now :-)

[jessifleur]

He's exclusively bf and has lots of wet and pooey nappies through the day it just seems so painful for him to go. Have been burping like a madwoman today and trying to feed upright-ish or lying down whenever and for however long he wants and he seems a little improved - or maybe I've gone mental from exhaustion! DH thinks he might just be hungry - he is quite a big lad (DS2 not DH!)

[TiesThatBind]

I have cut out dairy and gluten on advice of an osteopath but interesting that tomatos, pasta and onions where the key for you Scarlett. I didn't really eat yesterday (felt rubbish because of the mastitis) and we had a much better night than usual - so perhaps it is something I am eating?

How did you work out the triggers? I am vegetarian so already on a bit of a limited diet with no dairy or gluten.

[TiesThatBind]

ps Jess have you tried baby massage? I heard that it might helped and am starting a local class next week. Will let you know if it makes a difference but there is lots online if you are interested

[User24689]

Well it is now 5.30am and I've been feeding DD since 3am. We woke hourly before that which I could cope with but now she will just not. Stop. Feeding. When I put her on the boob she feeds quietly for about a minute then starts this awful grunting sound in the back of her throat, writhes around, pulls at my nipple and pushes at my boob with her hands. I've taken her off and winded her, nothing comes up. Cant feel/ hear wind in her tummy. I honestly feel like she has just drained both breasts and there is nothing more coming out but then she is continuing to spit up when I take her off so something is going down. But she is just not satisfied at all!

I have never been so tired in my life and now the birds are singing! Feel like crying, again.

[halfpaintedwalls]

Hang on in there.

It will all be a distant memory in a few weeks.

Hugs.

[ScarletBegonia1234]

Ties- I did a bit of internet hunting and read that night shades (tomatoes onions garlic potatoes...)can be allergens. I ended up cutting back to just cereal for breakfast (with oat milk) toast for lunch then meat and roast veg (carrots sweet pots and parsnips) with something green for tea. As I can change the meat part it's not too boring but not sure how it'd be for a veggie! It worked so well I've just stuck with it. ...ds is 19 weeks now so should really introduce individual things back in now to see how he handles them but I can't face it! Don't want to go back to square one especially when he's in the middle of his 4 month sleep regression!

[Jules736]

Hi
I just wanted to share this article that made me feel a bit better about the whole breastfeeding thing. Hope it helps someone else too. x altmagazine.co.uk/breast-is-best-or-is-it/

[jessifleur]

Oh wolves I feel your pain. I fed at 12 til 1 then 2 til 4 then 5 til 6:30 - epic night! DH thinks he might just be really hungry - he drains both boobs but isn't 'milk drunk' like he's totally full. We're going to add a bottle into the evening feed cycle to try and fill him up a bit - we did the same with DS1 and he didn't get nipple confusion or anything so fingers crossed!
This too shall pass xxxxx

[jessifleur]

Great article Jules! I do want to breastfeed - just not continually for the entire night but I guess we don't get to call the shots...

[User24689]

Thanks Jess your DS sounds like he's on the same schedule as my DD. last night was another epic one for me too but I was a bit better at holding it together this time. Can you report back on how you go with the formula feed? I'd be interested to know if that helps.

DD has developed this bizarre behaviour of an evening where she will grunt, writhe and fuss at the breast. She will also clamp down on my nipple and then pull back/ turn her head which really hurts! Last night she did it every time I put her on the breast between about 9pm and 1am. DH has a theory that she fills up quickly (i have a very fast flow) but then just wants to suck and is frustrated her mouth keeps filling up with milk. I cant do anything about it though as a pacifier doesn't satisfy her so she just cries and won't sleep!

Gosh babies are such a mystery, if only they could explain what they want us to do for them!

Thank you for the article Jules. I really don't enjoy bfing and I'm just trying to troop on because I feel it's the best thing for DD and feel guilty putting my needs above hers... But I wonder if there comes a point where the best thing for her is having a happy, sane mummy! X

[TiesThatBind]

Thanks Scarlet. I am have done some research but now totally confused by all the conflicting advice eg Dr Sears says potatoes are safe, others say they are a nightshade and should be cut out... Guess it is a trial and error process and I'll just have to wing it.

How was everyone's night? We did really well 10pm - 4am (fed twice but resettled quickly, only one wake up from tummy pains), however after the 4am feed he couldn't settle properly till 7am. Which was no use to me as toddler has been up since 6am. Yawn.

Jess - HV referred us to paedtrician to check the gas/tummy pains weren't sinister (DS was spent time in NICU so they are hyper vigilant), who surprised me by advocating a bottle if he continues to sleep very badly. Her point was that the most damaging thing for a baby was any difficultly in the relationship/attachment to its mother, and exhausted mothers at the end of their tethers naturally find it harder to enjoy their babies. It was interesting because all other HCP I have met were adamant about bf at all costs, and she was completely relaxed either way.

I am thinking of pumping more to get DH to do a bottle in the night on weekends for a slightly longer stretch.

[jessifleur]

One step forward, two steps back for us last night. Fed at midnight then swaddled him up and he slept from 1 til 5 which was amazing! But then he wouldn't settle so was in bed with us feeding on and off, crying, and straining til he dozed off for half an hour at 7:30. Now this morning he's just crying and cluster feeding... I don't know if the 3 1/2 hours sleep was worth it

[jessifleur]

Oh yeh and the baby has neonatal acne - he literally looks like a tiny angry teenager