Tandem feeders.... Come and tell me what I need / can expect?

[WittgensteinsBunny]

Dd (19 months) is still bf'ing several times a day and I'm 31 weeks pregnant. I can't see that she's going to wean when dc2 comes. That's fine by me. She's only on and off for short bursts and doesn't feed over night any more.

I'm trying to get organised. What do I need to make life with a newborn and bf'ing toddler easier? Any pillow recommendations? Any book recommendations? Clothes (I know babies will just want me naked from the waist up, but that's not really practical in April!) bras? Breast pads?

What do I expect in terms of milk production? I'm still making "white" milk and not colostrum, which has surprised me as I expected to dry up / make colostrum from 6 months pg.

I can't get hold of the adventures in tandem feeding anywhere so I feel totally unprepared.

Any suggestions much appreciated x

[NotQuiteCockney]

In many ways, tandem feeding can be easier. You don't need to entertain your toddler when the baby feeds - just feed them both. If your baby won't latch initially, your toddler will still latch, so your supply will be fine. If you get a blocked duct, well, the toddler is there to help.

I'm not sure when your milk will change, but it will by the time your new baby is born.

[shelley1977]

I tandem fed my youngest 2 and it was pretty straight forward, they quite often fed together toddler one side baby other. I found it usually easier to get baby latched on first then let toddler cuddle in. There was very little info when I did it and even midwife in hospital asked me if it was even possible! Your toddler might want to feed a bit more often like the baby to start with or maybe ask at night. I co slept and rolled from one side to the other at nights in the early days. I also found I didn't swell up so much like you do when your milk comes in but probably still have some breast pads handy incase. I loved tandem feeding and both children stopped together my older child was nearly 4 and his sibling 15 months younger. Go by how you feel, that's probably most important, if you're happy then all is good

[WittgensteinsBunny]

Thanks ladies. I guess I just feel so ill informed and like I'm being really "out-there" in society's eyes because of the little info available. I'm probably fretting unnecessarily...

[flipflopsonfifthavenue]

I've not tandem fed but always been curious/interested by it so just noseying on this thread. After all our bodies are built to feed two babies at once! Good luck!
Interested about difference in milk production-does that mean your toddler will get colostrum too if she feeds those first few days? Wonder what she'll think!

[TheEagle]

Have a look at KellyMom - there's some interesting pictures of tandem feeding. Some are of twins feeding but it gives you some good ideas.

I said I wouldn't tandem feed but now I'm pregnant with twins so looks like Mother Nature has other ideas

DS weaned when I was about 12 weeks tho so we won't be triple feeding!

Good luck and enjoy your new baby.

[catellington]

Im 30 weeks and bf my 23 mo dd, I am pretty sure it's just been colostrum for quite a few weeks now as after about 30mseconds she tells me it's all gone. She won't give up though so tandem nursing looking likely.

I've started going to La Leche League meetings as I find them very open to nursing older babies and toddlers and children and tandem nursing. I also got the LLL book 'adventures in tandem nursing' which is absolutely full of information about both nursing in pregnancy and tandem nursing if that happens.

Good luck! I am daunted but excited too.

[Fugacity]

I tandem fed for about 2 years. The older child knew to give priority to the baby and not to ask for a feed in public.

[mrsjohno]

I don't want to sound negative as I (mostly) still love bf'ing my almost 3 year old alongside her sister but I'd also say to be prepared for some days' tandemming to be HARD WORK. I don't know if any more hard work with baby and toddler if you're not tandemming but sometimes I find the demands on my body overwhelming! To be fair, we've had a bad time of it with the newborn (posterior TT and other probs so I'm bf'ing her, pumping, feeding EBM, feeding toddler) but I think it can be hard esp if you have a particularly demanding toddler who likes to throw tantrums as they know the milk's back in a big way and want boob ALL THE TIME again :)

Really not being negative as it is a very special thing to do, but maybe also mentally prepare for days when you feel your head's about to explode and you wish you'd never grown breasts ... They'll be interspersed with days where you look down and see the two little heads on a boob each and holding hands - and at that point it'll make it all better :)

Suggest having snacks and entertainment at hand for the toddler for long newborn nursing sessions and maybe see if your local LLL has the adventures book? It's very good. Good tips on drawing compassionate boundaries for the toddler if you need them (length/ frequency/ order of feeds etc)

Good luck!

[Allstoppedup]

Ooh following, got my BFP for number 2 today but not sure how far along I am and am hoping to tandem feed if my DS is still interested in feeding (DS will be about 21 months if everything goes well)

[Gunpowder]

Marking place here too. Am 26 weeks and would love DD to stop feeding now really. (Have nursing aversion) but she seems to have other ideas.

[ooievaar]

I'm still bf-ing DD1 (2.6) alongside DD2 (19 weeks), and to be honest I wish I'd called it a day with DD1 before DD2 was born, although I do think the idea of tandem feeding is great in principle. Nursing aversion kicked in for me about a month before DD2 was born (colostrum returned I think around 5-6 months pregnant, so it wasn't that) and it still hasn't completely gone away, so I don't really enjoy feeding DD1 any more Sorry to put a downer on things!

It sounds like you are in a better position than me though OP if your DD only feeds during the day - my DD1 started sleeping through for the first time (!) when I was 6 months pregnant (no doubt related to the fact that milk had given way to colostrum), but returned to multiple night wakings with feeding after DD2 was born which led to us both wailing one night was exhausting. I've finally night-weaned her and lo and behold, she started sleeping through again, but not before some full on toddler tantrums in the middle of the night.

My milk came in with a vengeance very quickly for DD2 - most likely helped by DD1, who (as PPs have said) suddenly started to feed like a newborn as well. But with encouragement DD1 is back down to 2-3 feeds a day, so I can cope with that. I don't go in for feeding them both at the same time, but neither feeds for long so I don't often have them both clamouring at once.

Apart from juggling two of them, I don't feel tandem feeding is any different to breastfeeding one tbh. I did buy the LLL Adventures in Tandem Feeding but barely read any of it, and I don't feel I was unprepared, other than for the horror of nursing aversion. Fingers crossed it all goes smoothly for you!

[WittgensteinsBunny]

Thanks everyone. It's interesting to hear positive and negative aspects. I can't stop dd from bf'ing at the moment (she's barely done anything else this morning and is back on after her nap ) and she's starting to do some odd things / be clingy / sucking fingers / drooling which suggests teething and whilst there is a general "why aren't you weaning her" attitude from family and friends I just. Think she would be too upset and I can't deal with the tantrums at the moment. Ms is back and I'm shattered.

How did you deal with the early days? Is the adventures in tandem feeding really worth reading? I guess if it is I'll just have to shell out the £25 the LLL want for it.

We don't have a local group anymore, which is a shame as I was really hoping to get to a meeting during this pregnancy.