im desperate to stop breastfeeding my 3 year

(43 Posts)
irgmama Sat 31-May-14 11:18:51

my lg has just turned 3 and i cant stand it anymore i have been trying to stop since she was 5 months,i tried getting help from my healthvisitor but she kept telling me how amazing the benefits of breastfeeding are for me and my lg. im at the point now im avoiding cuddling her orsitting next to her as iknow she will start complaining for "boobie" icant stand the feeling of her feeding actually icant stand anything touching mybreasts. without feeding she wont go to sleep and still wakes frequently to feed throughout the night ialways end up giving in cause she just screams to the point ofthrowing up. please can anyone give me any advice

Buttercup27 Sat 31-May-14 11:30:57

It will be really difficult but if you are consistent you can do it. I have no experience with bf but I did struggle to stop ds1 having a bottle at bedtime. It took 4 nights of tantrums but he eventually realised he could only have milk if it was in a cup.
If I were you I would take her shopping to buy a new big girls cup. Let her choose - whether it's China/plastic/with/without lid it doesn't matter but make a really big deal about this being her special cup. Throughout the day only use this cup for drinks. If she in sits on boobies be strong and ride the tantrums. If you give in even once she will know that all she has to do to get what she wants us too tantrum even more. A child of her age really doesn't need to feed during the night, it's a habit but habits are really hard to break. It might take days of tantrums but you've got to stop at some point- you won't be going to school to feed her will you?
It sounds like you really are ready to stop. Good luck!

CrystalDeCanter Sat 31-May-14 11:35:17

Oh goodness, you really need to bite the bullet, and face the tantrums. Like buttercup said it may take a few grim nights but don't be scared, you'll get through it and you'll both be fine eventually.

CrystalDeCanter Sat 31-May-14 11:36:05

Have you a partner? Can they be involved too? Show a united front.

CrystalDeCanter Sat 31-May-14 11:37:02

Actually, could you go away for a few nights and let dh get on with it??? <evil>

gamerchick Sat 31-May-14 11:40:01

I stopped by going on holiday for a week without him and just didn't start again when I got back.

not an option for everybody I know.

80sMum Sat 31-May-14 11:43:24

You're the person in charge, OP! If you no longer want to bf, then don't do it. Your daughter has no choice in the matter. It's your decision, not hers. She will naturally be very angry and upset. But she will get over it. Whatever you do, once you've made the decision to stop you must not under any circumstances ever bf your daughter again. Be consistent and stand your ground.

Artandco Sat 31-May-14 11:49:08

Just don't do it then?

gamerchick Sat 31-May-14 11:49:53

You can tell those who have never done natural term breastfeeding grin

Get your dude on board and he'll have to take over for a few days until she gets the message. It'll probably be upsetting for you and remember you may get the blues when you stop which won't help.

hollowhallows Sat 31-May-14 11:53:18

I really understand where you are coming from. I loved breastfeeding my DD but by the time she turned two I was ready to stop. I had exactly the same problem with her and so I continued for another 6 months.

A few weeks ago she accidentally bit me while feeding in her sleep and dreaming and I decided to stop immediately. I put a strong plaster over the bitten nipple and explained to her that I had an 'owie' so that nipple was off limits. She was really calm and understanding and didn't tantrum at all. So I tried doing the same with the other nipple and low and behold she accepted that I had 'owies' on both nipples and hasn't breastfed since. After a month I stopped wearing plasters on my nipples (had only been taking them off to bathe and then putting fresh ones on) and though she still likes to snuggle against my bare breasts, she hasn't wanted to breastfeed and she has slept through without breastfeeding from the second week of my plaster on nipples experiment. For the first week I gave her a bottle of warm milk before bed and had one ready in case she woke in the night. She sometimes teases me by positioning herself as if to breastfeed and then laughs when I say 'no, remember mum has an owie' and it is now like a sweet little game. I gave her a lot of cuddling to make up for the missing comfort she would feel which has helped her transition brilliantly. I also give her lots of very light Ribena so I know she is drinking enough water to make up for the fluid she is no longer getting from breast milk.

Might be worth a try smile

gamerchick Sat 31-May-14 11:58:24

ooooh I like that idea.. clag a plaster one, brilliant grin that's definitely worth a try I think.

irgmama Sat 31-May-14 11:59:32

thanks guys no single mummy i work 12 hour shifts which is why i end up giving in. i have tried the special cup she asks for boobiemilk in her cup(cowsmilk) but she still wants me to go to sleep ihave tried putting masking tape over my nipples and told her i had run out but it still didnt work, tried the going away it didnt even last a night as she just screamed which isnt fair on person i left her with

Nocomet Sat 31-May-14 12:00:58

Can't help you,I really enjoyed feeding DD when she was older most of the time. Occationally it was annoying, but filling dishwashers or putting away washing is far more annoying.

I do agree breast milk is sweet so weak squash works better than water, but honestly there are far far far worse chires than BFing a toddler.

irgmama Sat 31-May-14 12:02:00

gonna try the owie bit she is verycaring sohopefully that might work

irgmama Sat 31-May-14 12:03:08

easier said than done

BertieBotts Sat 31-May-14 12:08:57

Dr. Jay Gordon's nightweaning is supposed to be good?
drjaygordon.com/attachment/sleeppattern.html

What I did when DS got older and feeding was becoming uncomfortable was to tell him he could have a little bit. Then I'd do a countdown, some people start from 10 or 20 and reduce it, I think I did 5 from the beginning! You explain to them first what you want them to do. He would just have a very quick feed and had to stop when the countdown was over. This worked and meant feeding was more bearable for me, it also reduced his reliance on it and after a while he would literally latch on for one or two seconds and then stop. I also have friends who did this with their older children when they had a new baby and they said it helped it feel more manageable in the short term and helped break the attachment to boob in the long term.

When you're weaning they will generally look for more attention/reassurance in other ways so you need to be prepared for this and remember it's temporary. It's hard when you're working so much, I had a period of 3 months when I was out of the house for 11 hours 6 days a week, DH was abroad for a year, and it was really tough, that's when he decided to wean as well and then he came down with every cold under the sun!

Is your ex partner involved at all?

irgmama Sat 31-May-14 12:13:26

yes but he is useless when it comes to it he wont let her sit and cry so he gives in and takes her to me which then makes me feel like the bad one when itry refuse

BertieBotts Sat 31-May-14 12:16:55

Ah so he can't take her on her own overnight. That's a shame that's supposed to be the best way to do it.

irgmama Sat 31-May-14 12:24:15

no he would just endup taking her home

DefiniteMaybe Sat 31-May-14 12:27:23

I used nail biting stuff from superdrug on my nipples. I told dd that she was too big and thats why it didn't taste nice any more. She went from being obsessed and asking at least once an hour to not being interested at all within the space of a day.
It wasn't the lovely gentle way I'd imagined of stopping but I couldn't cope any more anf it did work well. We had lots of cuddles and kisses just no more boobs.

irgmama Sat 31-May-14 12:29:40

i had thought of that but thought it might be dangerous on my nipples

DefiniteMaybe Sat 31-May-14 12:35:56

I don't know if it is dangerous but I have very sensitive skin and was fine.

BertieBotts Sat 31-May-14 12:38:46

I think it would be fine. You could use something like lime juice which is strong tasting? Don't use chilli!

Artandco Sat 31-May-14 14:21:52

Gamer - I actually fed both until 2-3 years. Eldest I wanted to stop at 2.5 years so I did. Hardly not letting them feed. Gave him a new glass ( already used glasses for water), and added milk in glass with oatcake to bedtime routine.

hollowhallows Sat 31-May-14 15:08:45

gamer is right about the blues. I still get pangs and miss breastfeeding my dd sometimes even though I am happy we stopped. Its a weird feeling actually.

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