Call out for tiktok?

(13 Posts)
BertieBotts Thu 08-May-14 19:54:47

Sorry I know you are a very busy lady smile I don't do this often but this poster really needs some advice (even if the advice is just "seek RL help".)

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/2074317-Can-any-one-help-So-worried-My-BF-baby-is-not-thriving

BertieBotts Thu 08-May-14 20:50:43

I'll just bump this before I go to bed.

tiktok Thu 08-May-14 23:57:54

Seen it, BB.

Blimey.

squizita Fri 09-May-14 11:37:28

This kind of thread frightened me slightly. Not had my baby yet... but it kind of brought home that there might be a lot of well meaning but awful advice flying around when I do, about feeding and I guess other things.

How will I know? Especially when some of the people giving what was wrong advice seemed so passionate and authoritative.

Thinking my NCT fees are well invested: mental note to stick the list of local experts to my fridge before due date.

tiktok Fri 09-May-14 12:17:16

squiz, when things go well, it really doesn't matter if people around you are telling you things that are unhelpful or just plain wrong.

If things are not going well, you can select not to take advice from someone who has no training, or who gives advice with an explanation that makes poor sense. You can check out what you are told on here, or in trusted corners of the web.

I think when it comes to mumsnet, the 'Chat' folder is not a great place to get decent, evidence-based understanding of something to do with feeding or health.

Hope all goes well smile

squizita Fri 09-May-14 12:24:58

Thanks. smile

BertieBotts Fri 09-May-14 12:33:21

Squiz I tend to find that the advice in this section, if it is incorrect is corrected quickly. Whereas on chat you get more of a cross section of people - their advice might be perfectly correct for somebody in a particular situation but they haven't realised that it can't be extrapolated to everybody or that the OP of that thread has the totally opposite problem (or that what is good advice usually doesn't apply in that situation). I also think that the chat board is more fast moving and so misinformation doesn't get corrected as swiftly.

It can be difficult to know where to trust for advice but sources I find trustworthy:

NCT breastfeeding counsellors
LLL leaders and supporters
Mumsnet breast and bottle feeding board (not so much the other boards)
kellymom.com
Books approved by La Leche League (if you find your local group you can borrow them from their library)
Analytical Armadillo (blog) - the facebook page is a bit of a free for all.

Not necessarily midwives and health visitors, even if they have the title of "infant feeding specialist" or similar. It's a shame and some are fantastic but you do need to be aware that not all of them know what they are talking about. I would always double check advice.

BertieBotts Fri 09-May-14 12:35:40

It's like any board really - if you want good advice about car seats, or weight loss, or craft items, you'll find more of the hardcore fans/experts on the appropriate board rather than a general board like chat, aibu or parenting. There are some posters, like tiktok (and others!) who tend to stick only to a particular topic and only rarely venture out of it. Others post across the boards and so posting on a more general topic, you'll get more general advice.

tiktok Fri 09-May-14 13:05:18

I'd agree with all of that, BB.

NickyEds Fri 09-May-14 13:50:33

Try not to worry Squitzita! You'd think reading mn that bf is always a nightmare but remember that for every one mum crying into their keyboard(like me!) there are dozens getting on fine. It is a message board generally for problems. Having mn advice really helped me though. I was hopelessly ill prepared for bf, my mw gave me a leaflet and said that it will come naturally, problems are rare and sent me away thinking "well that's bf sorted!". Next time I'll have LLL on speed dial!

Thread hijack - I searched the bf boards on here extensively when DS was little due to some minor problems and also needing to take medication which my GP was 'reasonably confident' wouldn't affect DS hmm

tictok provided so much brilliant advice and a link to a comprehensive database of meds which were safe. Made such a difference and I continued feeding until 9 months as a result. I never actually posted for help (just read the old threads) so she won't know how helpful it was. Thank you tictok. You're amazing.

squizita Fri 09-May-14 14:12:35

Nicky yeah my DH is a bit la la land and super-super-pro-breast in that "man" way where he 'just knows' it's easy hmm , based on having only spoken to people (his late DM included) who seemed to have baby latch on 1st day, feed 'nicely' for 6 months (and take a bottle so mummy could have a sleep) then happily start weaning at 6 months.
No wind stories, no tongue tie, no colic, no screaming, no sore nips...
I have a feeling he will get paddington bear hard stares when I'm up at 3am burping PFB. grin

NickyEds Fri 09-May-14 14:52:46

I really didn't think about it at all!!! Took it completely for granted that it would be fine. Mw would say "so you're going to bf, yes??" and I'd reply "yes of course" and that was that. Based my view on the fact that my sister seemed to find it straight forward. OH was supportive but equally clueless. He begged my to switch to formula as I was getting so upset about it but don't think he really saw it as "his" domain. It was certainly MUCH more emotional for me!!
3am Winding isn't so bad when you get a satisfying "BUUUURRRRP"!

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