How realistic is it to expect to pop into the nursery and breastfeed during day?

[SarahAnderson]

We're choosing between two childcare options at the moment for when I go back to work:

1. Baby room at nursery 3 mins from my work (the expensive option)
   
2. Childminder near home (much cheaper)
   

Initially, we thought one of the big plus points for the baby room near my work is that I would be able to pop in during the day and breastfeed. I could also express at work and so the baby would have access to a mixture of breastmilk bottles and breastfeeding. However, when we visited the nursery and said this, the nursery staff were really reluctant as they said it might upset the baby to have me visit and then go away again. They said they'd much prefer to just feed expressed milk in bottles.

If I can't breastfeed at this nursery it kind of takes away a major reason for using it in the first place, since the local childminder option is so much cheaper.

I should add that we haven't actually had this baby yet so I have no idea on her individual quirks regarding breastfeeding/bottles! We are just trying to think ahead --- and also if we're going for the nursery near my work, we need to get on the waiting list early.

[dyslexicdespot]

How old would the baby be when it started nursary?

[LunchLadyWannabe]

As someone whos worked in many nurserys, i ve never heard of a parent coming in to breastfeed during the day.

Can the nursery not feed your baby expressed milk instead of you going into nursery?

[putthehamsterbackinitscage]

tbh you wont know how your baby will take to bottles/breast or not till after it arrives... one of mine was hungry and I mixed fed from 8 weeks and eventually moved to bottle, the other was ebf till I when back to work and then expressed bottles till around 10 or 11 months.... took a bit of persuading her to take the bottles to start with though and a bit of stress in the weeks leading up to going back to work (was a few years ago, I went back at 18 weeks when SMP ran out)

I'd look to make my decision on what works overall.... if you use the nursery near work - will you want to use it when you have a day off? If so how easy is it to get there...

Are you happy with the child minder and service provided... if so, would this be a long term option for pre-school, toddler groups, nursery and eventual school drop offs? From experience, mine were at the same childminder from 4 months till ages 10 and 8 yo and it was great, they had a 2nd Mum and home from home...

Will both providers take vouchers (assuming you can get them through work)?

Can your OH do drop offs and pick ups at both providers too so you can share the load if you need to work late or start early or travel for any reason....

And if the childminder is significantly cheaper, then that's got to be a good thing - more income left to enjoyor pay for a cleaner etc....

[MyNameIsSuz]

Hmm… I think since it's so far off, you have no idea how your baby will be or how much you'll even be breastfeeding - by the time I went back to work my boy was down to just bedtime, so no need to feed during the day at all. If you're worried about not getting a place why don't you get your name down on the waiting list now and then consider your options closer to the time? If you get a place you don't have to take it.

[BadPenny]

One of my colleagues had that problem - nursery just opposite the office but they wouldn't let her go in for any feeds.

It's a bit weird if you ask me as babies tend to be pretty adaptable so it shouldn't really take long for them to get used to, say, a lunchtime feed from mum followed by nap every day. In fact, I did this for a few months when I first went back and it was no issue.

Perhaps ask for a month's trial and take it from there?

[GreenGoblin0]

I went back to work when my DD was 9 months, she wasn't that great at drinking EBM at that stage so to ease with the transition I went to the nursery to feed her at lunchtime (two days a week) and back home when she was with my mother/partner (2 days a week). The nursery were absolutely fine with this and actively encouraged it particularly at the beginning as DD took a while I settle at nursery. I also fed her when I arrived at the nursery. I did this for the first month and towards the end she stopped needing the lunch time feed. I would be put off by the nursery's attitude personally.

However I wonder if you really need to decide now before your baby is born what to do re childcare? Are you planning on going back to work particularly early?

[SarahAnderson]

Yes, I'll be going back to work fairly quickly relative to usual practice in Britain. I'm planning on starting back at work in the 7th week for 1-2 days, working upwards to fulltime from there. My husband will take holidays in weeks 7-8 to match the times I'm at work, and the baby will go into regular childcare somewhere around week 9.

Worth emphasising that it is a 'baby room' attached to a nursery but on a different floor... I've checked and they're okay with a baby that young, although they don't generally get them until 12 weeks.

Problem is that they require a non-refundable deposit of £1500 to hold the place! So unfortunately we do need to be thinking about it now.

Thanks very much for advice so far, very helpful.

[Sunflower1985]

I recall a mother coming in to feed a 3mo at a nursery I used to work at. I can see them thinking it's a problem for an older baby who might get distressed, but for such a little one it seems odd to suggest this as the reason.
Do you feel happy with them in all other respects?

[dogtiredandfedup]

I have spoken to the nursery my dd will be going to in three weeks at 8 mths old, it's opposite my work and they have positively encouraged me to go over whenever necessary and breastfeed. Despite my best efforts dd is refusing to take a bottle, am hoping this changes over next couple of months. I would be concerned about the nursery's attitude tbh

[catellington]

I did it both at a nursery and childminders. It was fine. Much more distress if I didn't go and feed her .

[geekaMaxima]

A nursery that won't let a mother bf her 7 week old baby during the day is
(1) showing a lack of understanding / support for how bf works. Will they feed your lo on demand or to a schedule?
(2) afraid it will disturb them, not the baby, so they're not exactly putting your lo's needs first. Are they adamant they won't allow you in or just trying to discourage you?

Only you will know what your gut feeling tells you, but I would avoid any place - nursery or childminder - that didn't feel quite right.

[hench]

I breastfed one of mine at nursery in my lunch break for many months as they were the stubbornest bottle refuser ever and would have starved otherwise. It wasn't ever a problem at all, especially since it was also very close to work.

[georgesdino]

I would be very surprised if they said no to this. I have known people to do this. Its not something nursery will say no to.