BF 8 month old - should i still feed on demand?

[vnmum]

My DS is currently BF and i introduced solids at 6 months. He is eating lumps now but he doesnt seem to eat alot at meal times. im lucky if he has 4 teaspoons. he never wants desert and he doesnt have snacks. i am still BF on demand. his feeding routine is usually like this:

6.30am milk in waking
7.30 -8 breakfast
8.30 -9 milk at nap time
10.30 milk on waking
12 lunch followed by milk feed
1-2 milk at nap
3-4 milk on waking
5 tea followed by milk
7 milk at bedtime

i have to feed asleep at the moment

is ds having too much milk and should i try and cut back? if so has anyone any ideas on how and also when he should have milk.

i am starting to get frustrated and upset at ds lack of interest in my home cooking

[vnmum]

forgot to mention. ds still feeds about 3 times during the night too

[sfxmum]

i did until 1yr just about but she was on 3-4 feeds a day. then i got back to work and it is twice a day sometimes more often when i am home

[FrannyandZooey]

Breastmilk should make the majority of your ds's calories until he is at least one year old.

From kellymom: "Some toddlers are eating very few solids, or even no solids, at 12 months. This is not unusual and really depends on your child - there is quite a big variation. We like to see breastmilk making up the majority (around 75%) of baby's diet at 12 months. Some babies will be taking more solids by 12 months, but others will still be exclusively or almost-exclusively breastfed at this point. It is normal for baby to keep breastmilk as the primary part of his diet up until 18 months or even longer."

This page also mentions that up to age 1 you should offer breastmilk before other foods - the rest is not so important at this stage.

One of the great things about breastfeeding is that you need not worry if your child is getting enough or too much - they will take what they need, if allowed to feed when they want to.

There's no need for him to have cow's milk at the moment. Cow's milk is given to older babies as a substitute for when they are no longer having breastmilk. Your ds doesn't need it. Breastmilk is still perfect for him nutritionally, just as it was when he was younger, and all he needs are tastes of foods at the moment, to get used to having new textures and flavours in preparation for moving on to a range of solid foods when he is older.

HTH. Sounds like you are both doing exactly what is right for your ds at this moment in time

[vnmum]

thanks thats put my mind at rest. it doesnt help that im a first timer and hv is suggesting reducing milk so ds takes more solids.

i'll just carry on with what im doing and just offer him variety

[sfxmum]

good on you vnmum. i think they need to be offered a variety of healthy food, as a way of experimenting with flavours and textures, and really by 1yr she was eating our normal food. i never worried about how much, she know (near 14m) has cows milk too.

[Seona1973]

That sounds like an awful lot of feeds to me especially if you are feeding several times in the night too - all the milk could be putting your lo off solids. The feeding to sleep wont help either as your lo probably relies on feeding to get to sleep and this is why he needs to feed to get back to sleep in the night.

At that age my dd had 4 milk feeds a day and none at night. The milk feeds were given seperately from the solid feeds so she had more appetite for solids.

If the amount of feeds is bothering you I would look to cut out at least a couple of them which could help make your lo hungrier for solids e.g. could you cut down or drop the amount of milk you give when your lo wakes from a nap? This may make him hungrier for the lunch and teatime solids.

[Seona1973]

sorry I was putting dd to bed part way through this post and didnt know there had been posts in the meantime - hope I dont offend by my comments!!

[bumbleweed]

vnmum, my dd is 9 months and very very similar - still feeds almost exactly the same amount as your ds (3 feeds in night is tough aint it?)

she also is offered range of solids and tries everything but actually eats very little - I was worrying just like you

I think Franny is right about them not actually needing the solids for nutritonal purposes but more for the experience of taste and texture.

You cant help wanting them to eat a bit more though can you?

How do you feel about the frequency of bfeeding, do you still enjoy? is there any other reason to reduce other than concern for his solids intake?

[vnmum]

i am not bothered by the amount of breastfeeds hes having other than the lack of solids hes taking. i still enjoy breastfeeding and plan on doing it till he self weans, especially as he has cows milk protein allergy and egg allergy.

i was just getting concerned as magazines, books, hv's and friends are all saying that at his age he should be taking more solids and having pudding and snacks etc.

he's still putting on weight and is happy and lively so i know he's not lacking in anything.

he did have a better appetite but over the past month or so its gone down. could a stressful home life cause this?

[sfxmum]

hi there, not necessarily i think, teething on the other hand is quite likely as is heat.

have you read any sort of attachment parenting books? the best ones just give you enough information for you to make your own decisions and are not prescriptive. sometimes the language can grate but i have found the info brilliant to understand my child. esp those first few months

[vnmum]

yes ive read dr sears book on attachment parenting as that is the style of parenting i naturally do anyway. ive also got dr sears high need baby book which im reading next as ds seems to be very high need.

i suppose im the type of first timer who worries about everything and wants to know im doing the best for my ds. the only thing im very strict about is not letting other people try to tell me im making a rod for my own back etc. this is my parenting choice and it works for ds.

is the advice generally given out by hv etc about solids mainly aimed at bottle feeders on routines do you think?

[sfxmum]

i am similar also first child but other children in immediate family have been brought up that way, like you say it works for us.
i think hv et al advice is very much aimed at the middle ground, some people really have zero clue about the most basic things, but also, i think its the prevalent opinion of the area. for example the advice on bf is often wrong and prejudiced toward bottle.
i think its like any other walk of life they broadly reflect the society they come from.

like you say being informed and choosing the right way for you, getting to know your child and meeting their needs, well that is the main thing

[Philomytha]

vnmum, that sounds exactly like my 8-month-old son, right down to the 4 tsp of food at meal-times. In fact, I think we might even be having a bit more breastmilk and less solids! People keep telling me that the solid food is more for play and learning about flavours than for nutrition at this stage. If you're both happy and he's not losing weight or anything, I can't see any reason to worry. Ignore the mainstream advice if it doesn't make sense in your situation.

I sympathise with your frustration at your son's lack of interest in the food you cook. Mine is pretty similar, especially when I give him normal baby stuff like sieved peaches. I have found a few things he likes (unusual stuff like tomato and lentil curry) which is heartening. I tend to go for mashed up ordinary food as much as possible, to save on extra cooking which just goes to waste. I get upset about it sometimes but fortunately my dh is very laid-back about it all and reminds me how much less mess there is with breastfeeding compared to spoon-feeding!

[Overrun]

I agree with what people are saying on the whole, but do think that the danger of this approach can be ending up with a fussy eater.
I am very pro bf, and am still feeding mine at 21 months, but not on demand.
I have some friends who have adopted this approach and now find it hard to get their 2 yr plus children to eat much solid food. I think they can get used to the gratification of milk that comes with sucking and comfort and not be so keen on working on chewing solid food.
I am sure that some people will have examples of children who end up being fantastic eaters, so who knows.
I suppose I have tried to balance bf an older child with all its advantages, with wanting a child who enjoys food for foods sake.

[quootiepie]

im no expert and dont know if someones meantioned this but maybe try cutting one daytime milk feed at a time, swapping with a cup of breastmilk until hes having a cup of milk with his meals, and a breastfeed morning and night. Then hes getting benefit of the milk, not "on demand"... maybe its just habit and comfort. Or I guess he'll just stop when he's ready... your not harming him.