WHY did I ebf?! Regrets.

(21 Posts)
123Jump Sun 15-Sep-13 11:12:16

With DC3 I thought I would breast feed exclusively, wean onto solids at 6 months. And then gradually stop feeding over the next few months.
I followed the advice to "feed on demand", and to not worry about his frequent demands to feed often at night.
It is normal, he will stop as he gets older. He will stop when on solids.
Well, he is on solids. Loves them. He takes cows milk from a cup. He is nearly walking unaided.
And last night, like nearly every night, I was up every hour feeding him.
I try to stop, all the time. I've had him down to 2 feeds a night at times. But he will still wake every hour- at least!
Then teething will start up again, and to get some sleep I feed.....
I'm fed up!! WHY didn't I give some bottles, as I did with older DC. They stopped looking for food once only on bottles.
I know it is a habit.
I know he doesn't need it.
But how the hell can I get some sleeeeeeeeep!!!

sad

123Jump Sun 15-Sep-13 11:13:50

He is nearly 13 m btw.

HairyPorter Sun 15-Sep-13 11:16:52

Have you read the no cry sleep solution? Really worked for DS. Working more slowly with dd but we're getting there!

Pachacuti Sun 15-Sep-13 11:16:54

Do you have a husband/partner? Night weaning is easiest if they can just handle all the night wakings for a week or so (so DC knows that breasts aren't in the picture).

123Jump Sun 15-Sep-13 11:23:56

That was quick!
DH has recently decided that enough is enough and he is taking over. He is really supportive, makes due I catch up on lots of sleep at weekends etc.
I have been hoping that I would get him to stop gradually- but he hasn't.
DH has put him to sleep for his nap and he goes down no problem. Puts him to bed- no problem.
I thought if would be unfair to just stop, so take over from 12- and he just wakes a million times.
DH works, he can't be up all night. Although he will do it if you all think that is the best and only way? Just stop completely?

Layl77 Sun 15-Sep-13 11:25:17

Because its good for his health! Well done! Let dh take over in night time then if that's what you need?

123Jump Sun 15-Sep-13 11:27:06

Can he go from all those feeds at night, to none? Should I offer a cup of milk or something?

HairyPorter Sun 15-Sep-13 11:28:37

I went back to work when DS was 1 and had to work nights. He either took nothing or took a bottle with DH. He just caught up durin the day instead!

Pachacuti Sun 15-Sep-13 11:30:16

The first three nights are likely to be the worst, so it often works well to do it over a bank holiday weekend. Unfortunately we're in September so it'll be a while before the next one... maybe just start over a weekend and brew lots of strong coffee for Monday morning?

You need to be "not available" when DS wakes up. Cuddles and lots of "shh, it's night time, Mummy's sleeping. You can have milk in the morning. Time to sleep now" from DH.

He doesn't need bottles. He's 13 months. He doesn't need bm either, at least not for every feed.

Go to bed a bit earlier after feeding him. Leave him up with DH who can feed him a big bowl of porridge. Feed the baby in bed for a quick top up/to send him to sleep/ Then have DH transfer him into his cot.

It's worth a try right?

Sorry, I meant free flow cups, rather than bottles if he needs drinks.

123Jump Sun 15-Sep-13 12:58:12

Ill try anything!
We already do porridge/cereal and cows milk before bed.
DH says let's just do it tonight.
Thanks for all the tips. It's going to be a rough week....

Do you keep baby up until you go to bed yourself and THEN give the big meal?

My baby is 15 months and he has an adult sized bowl with a few raisins thrown in and sometimes he eats a banana too.

No idea why he is so hungry 10pm at night but he always is.

123Jump Sun 15-Sep-13 16:50:10

He is pooped by 8, I don't think I could keep him up any longer.
Over the summer though he was often up much later ( holidays and did a wee nap too), and it made no difference.

I know this may sound odd but have you tried an slightly earlier bed time? We moved my DD from 8pm bedtime to a 7 pm and she went from 6 wakings a night to 2, which felt like heaven. I did pick up put down for those 2 and stopped the night feeds, the first night I picked her up/put her down 112 times, the second night was 42 times and the third night was 3 times and then she slept. She had no reason to be awake and it broke the habit. When we did pupd i said nothing to her except night night, it's bed time the first time I put her back down.

TeWiSavesTheDay Sun 15-Sep-13 16:59:11

I had the same issue. DH took over at night, I warn you the first few nights DS cried a lot - but similar age, he really did not need milk, DH was with him - he was fine.

He's slept really well ever since and it makes such a massive difference.

My next baby is not bloody well being ebf though. I love mix feeding.

midori1999 Sun 15-Sep-13 17:25:29

I'm not going to offer any advice, but what I will say is that having FF my first 3 DC from quite young (BF didn't work out) and not really been the 'attachment parenting' type, I EBF my my DD and was completely baby led. At times I found it exhausting (most of the time) and many times I wondered if I was doing the right thing, as DD seemed so much more hard work than my others. DD is still only 27 months, but it's less exhausting now and I know I did the right thing, it was just hard to see when I was so knackered and wondering if I would ever create this secure, independent child I had expected to.

Hopefully some of the suggestions here will work and you'll get some sleep soon.

123Jump Sun 15-Sep-13 19:54:56

He is pooped by 8, I don't think I could keep him up any longer.
Over the summer though he was often up much later ( holidays and did a wee nap too), and it made no difference.

123Jump Sun 15-Sep-13 19:58:33

TeWiSavesTheDay what age was your DS when you did pupd?
Thanks for all the suggestions.

K8Middleton Sun 15-Sep-13 20:05:09

This may be a stupid question, but how much is he feeding during the day? Mine tended to feed more at night if they'd spent much of the day playing and not feeding so much.

TeWiSavesTheDay Sun 15-Sep-13 20:18:43

It wasn't pupd - my kids are pretty mystified by any kind of returning sleep training.

DH literally sat and cuddled DS until he went back to sleep without bf. It took several hours the first night (dh sat in front of the tv with him in the end!) and about a month for him to stop waking totally. DS was nearly 1 when we started.

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