I am dying to tell someone my news..

(34 Posts)
roundtower Tue 26-Mar-13 11:17:59

It looks like dd has finished with breastfeeding. She was 4 recently and had just been having a quick feed at bedtime for ages but was reluctant to give that up.

Five nights ago she was exhausted after a busy day and fell asleep listening to music with me so I decided to try that the next night and she didn't ask for a feed. On the third night I was away at bedtime (she always settled without bf if I was out) so I carried on with a slightly later bedtime and music and she has settled without bf every time. No drama, upset or fuss.

I am so pleased as I was ready to stop but wasn't sure how to go about it but she clearly was ready too.

I'm not looking for a debate about extended bf ( I am obviously pro ) but due to people's attitudes no-one in real life other than DH knew she was still breastfed.

She is my youngest and it is a big change in my life and it feels strange that I can't talk to family/friends about it.

Thanks for listening.

Blessyou Tue 02-Apr-13 10:13:33

Lovely story, thanks for sharing smile

HiggsBoson Tue 02-Apr-13 10:08:42

smile

DD was 3 in January and still bf some mornings. I think she will be stopping of her own accord soon and you're right - it's sad to not be able to share such a lovely achievement with friends and family.

GummyAdams Tue 02-Apr-13 10:01:28

I agree with this- 'it sounds like it was the perfect natural end.'
Thank you for sharing smile I love reading posts like this because everytime I see a similar happy outcome of natural term breastfeeding, or whatever you want to call it, I think it does a lot to show the case for feeding like this.
Really lovely.. no fuss, no tears; it's how I'd like to do it!

Kveta Tue 02-Apr-13 09:52:58

how lovely smile I weaned DS very gradually just before he turned 3, but if I hadn't hated tandem feeding him and his sister, I think he'd still be nursing now!

ariane5 Mon 01-Apr-13 22:07:15

That's lovely, so glad it was easy for you both.

I bf dd1 till she was 4 but it wasn't a nice ending at all as I was pregnant and suddenly couldn't tolerate her feeding and had to stop (same happened with ds1 and dd2) it was a horrible feeling as I loved bf up untill getting pg again it literally made me feel ill and it hurt. No idea what that was all about!

Really pleased for you though. Definately worth treating yourself somehow smile

wigwam33 Mon 01-Apr-13 22:02:09

Wow! Well done you. 4 years is immense. You did so well to keep going that long. It sounds so natural and beautiful the way it came to an end.

It's what I aspire to but not sure my body is up to 4 yrs! (if my DS decides he wants to go on that long).

roundtower Sat 30-Mar-13 21:35:25

Thanks everyone for your thoughts and congratulations.

moresnow That is an interesting question. I was very open about breast feeding her until she was about 2. I didn't bring it up but if the subject arose I was always fine about it.

When she was coming up to 2.5 I went through a phase where I was struggling with it because she was feeding a lot day and night and to be honest I wanted to stop and didn't know how. Around then I began to feel that even people who had been supportive had lost sympathy with me and couldn't understand why I wouldn't stop cold turkey.

At that stage I knew dd just wasn't ready to stop so I got in touch with la leche league and spoke several times to an amazing counsellor who helped me find a way that both dd and I found acceptable- feeding at bedtime and on waking.

It worked so well that a year flew by. The subject stopped coming up because I suppose most people never even consider you might be breast feeding an almost 4 year old.

It is sad to think about it as something to be hidden or to have to be wary of but people can be very cruel even when it is none of their business.

TiredyCustards Sat 30-Mar-13 21:21:32

How lovely, well done.

Shellington Sat 30-Mar-13 21:18:29

Just read this, sounds like a lovely transition to your new bedtime routine. Well done all round smile

BranchingOut Sat 30-Mar-13 21:14:12

Congratulations! We came to a natural end at 2.10 and it felt,...right. We had a couple of really special conversations about it, around the time of stopping, which made me feel pleased to have carried on to that point. He still remembers it though and sometimes pretends to feed, which I never refuse.smile

Well done!so nice it's worked out well for you both, I wonder if she sensed you were ready to stop too and that helped her.

Out of interest (I am struggling with peoples opinions of bf my 9 mo) when did you start keeping it quiet and what did you say if people asked you whether you were still feeding, and what happened if she asked for a feed while you had company?!

TiredFeet Sat 30-Mar-13 09:10:26

congratulations, I think it is lovely that you found such a gentle way to ease her off it when she seemed ready.

Sounds so lovely that it came to a really natural end for you both smile

Melanka Fri 29-Mar-13 20:55:42

Thumbs up! Thanks for sharing your story.

FadBook Fri 29-Mar-13 20:51:28

How lovely roundtower, it sounds like it was the perfect natural end.

DD, 19 months, is still going, but has dropped bed time and late night ones now. It's her morning one and the random day time ones where she shouts MIMI at the top of her voice that is her main one, don't think she'll be stopping that for a while!

Same as you, no one know's I'm feeding (other than ladies at the group I peer support at)

IwishIwasmoreorganised Fri 29-Mar-13 20:44:16

How lovely - for you both.

MrsNPattz Fri 29-Mar-13 20:41:47

That's wonderful - the fact that you breast fed for so long and that you have come to a mutual end that you are both happy with! I think it's so sad that people have to be embarrassed about extended breast feeding - good on you!

roundtower Fri 29-Mar-13 09:37:33

Thanks everyone.

It's been a week since she had a feed now. She seems happy to cuddle to sleep and hasn't mentioned it at all.

I have a few extra special treats for her for Easter. I am so proud of us both.

jessbuni You are right about people being judgemental about breastfeeding. My MIL in particular seemed to find the whole thing distasteful even when dd was a newborn so I can't imagine what she would have thought of me feeding a 4 year old.

I'm glad I stuck to my principles though.

jessebuni Fri 29-Mar-13 07:15:23

Aw it's a bit sad that you can tell anyone but I understand. People can be so judgemental just seeing a baby feed let alone a toddler. My first I fed until around 1 but I went back to work at 9 months and due to expressing and bottles he just lost interested in feeding. I was disappointed that it just kind of stopped and I never got much closure. I'm hoping to feed my second now 9 months until around 2 maybe longer so bedtime feeds just for a bit of bonding time but very open about continuing as long as she wants. It's such a good thing that you managed to get to that stage where you were both ready smile

Startail Tue 26-Mar-13 21:31:24

Well done on feeding so long, DD2 and I carried on somewhat longer, but I'd have been happy if she'd stopped at 4 as she fell asleep and very heavy to get to bed.
When she was older she didn't go to sleep, didn't feed as long and it was really just a nice good night hug and then she'd take herself up stairs.
Also she'd have a few days off now and then.

bigbadbarry Tue 26-Mar-13 21:24:31

Congratulations smile I wouldn't mention it unless she does.
I am really ready for my 3-year-old to stop but she dropped night time feeds ages ago and likes it first thing in the morning instead. Harder to distract I think - DDs 1 and 2 dropped night time first.
Sorry, don't mean to make it all about me! Definitely treat yourself.

roundtower Tue 26-Mar-13 21:21:03

Just a quick update. Dd went to sleep without a feed again tonight. I think this really is the end.

So far I haven't spoken to her about not feeding and she hasn't mentioned it either. Should I wait til she says something?

Thumbwitch Tue 26-Mar-13 12:23:05

Aww, it can be a bit sad when they choose to stop but it sounds like you'd had enough anyway so well done for letting it come to a natural conclusion!

I agree with waiting a few weeks before you buy new underwear. And get some cabbage leaves in the freezer for when your boobs feel a bit sore, probably in about 4d time (IME). smile

puddock Germany Tue 26-Mar-13 12:21:05

That sounds ideal, how lovely. Give it a few weeks then 'celebrate' by buying a gorgeous new non-nursing bra ;)

TerrariaMum Tue 26-Mar-13 12:20:34

Oh, that is lovely. Well done you! I hope it will be like this for us.

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