Can't overfeed breastfed baby?

[lazzaroo]

if this is really true, what am I doing wrong? Bf 2nd baby. Didn't enjoy t first time round & struggling again. Done 4 weeks so far. Am trying to be more relaxed this time & offering breast sooner rather than later BUT she ends up feeding on and off from about 5pm to 9pm. She doesn't properly settle during this time. I know that's not uncommon. we rock her, use White noise, bung her in the bjorn, feed & have now resorted to dummy ( which she's not very good at & I'm not very good at knowing when to use that as opposed to feeding....turns out I'm just not very good at this full stop).

She's a big feeder. 8lb 6oz at birth & 9lb 8oz when weighed last week.

So, what do you do about the build up of wind this is creating & the fact that sometimes she will be sick...literaly while feeding...all over me.

[geekette]

it is hard in the first weeks but it sounds like you are doing it right. yes they do feed that much in the evening or even more!

basically if it squeaks, stick a boob in it!

[EauRouge]

lazzaroo, that sounds miserable- poor you and poor DD. I wouldn't say you are no good! Needing help with a challenge doesn't mean you are no good, just that you need some fresh ideas. It takes a village to raise a child and all that....

A lot of the things you have mentioned sound like they could be caused by oversupply. Have a look at this and see if any of it sounds familiar- there are some ideas there to help improve things too :)

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

I think you are doing really well, your body did a good job getting her to that birth weight and you've done a good job getting her to the weight she is now. You've also asked for help, which is the best thing to do. Did Eaus link sound like what might be happening?

[lazzaroo]

Thank you for replies. Yes, I think I do overproduce milk. It was commented on in hospital after birth of both my children that I already had a lot. My milk comes quick & if she unlatches will spray. She doesn't take long to feed either.

The ideas in the article are worth a try but to be honest I am feeling really unhappy with feeding. I never mastered it first time round but she would never take a bottle so she was bf for 12 months. I didn't enjoy it. She was also sick a lot & suffered with wind.

I'm just not a natural & it's making me overly anxious & not enjoy these early weeks. The thought of it going on for months makes me feel sick.

[lazzaroo]

Oh, and she has oral thrush which doesn't seem to be clearing up. I don't think I can do it much longer but every time I admit that I end up in tears & feel guilty because I persevered first time for so long,

[EauRouge]

I think that 'breastfeeding is natural'' isn't always a helpful phrase- walking is natural but no one expects their children to just get up and go- it takes practice and sometimes there are falls along the way.

Oversupply is quite common and can be resolved. I suffered terribly with DD2, she was so pukey, but she is feeding happily now- it didn't go on for months, just the first few weeks.

Do you think if you could BF with no problems that you might enjoy it? Perhaps speaking with a local BF counsellor would help, one of the helplines will be able to point you in the right direction.

[EauRouge]

X-posts. Only you will know the right decision for you. BF counsellors are trained to talk this sort of thing over and listen to what your thoughts are. Whatever you decide, they will support you.

[lazzaroo]

After another morning of her not settling (can't put her down after she feeds at 4am-ish), she won't go & stay asleep ( probably wind), she's been sick (again!) and is crying when not asleep, being held or feeding. I've been crying ( again) and my poor other daughter is completely bewildered by it all. She's only 3.

In our case breast is not proving to be best. She's feeding again now but I half expect it al to come back up & we'll start all over again. I have to stop but don't know how. She can't get hang of dummy so doubt she'll take a bottle. I feel comely stuck.

[habhann]

Morning,I have an oversupply too, try laid back bf to slow the flow, football hold , any position where babys nose is above nipple, may help with fast let down. Watch jack Newman videos..contact your lactation consultant to ensure baby has a good latch. Ensure you are taking a good multivitamin like pregnacare breastfeeding, to keep your energy levels up..take baby for walk in pram that way baby sleeps...when snow clears...i still find bf hard, 13 weeks in now and going to first bf support group this morning.also find the book womanly art of bf helpful, get it on amazon..good luck

[tiktok]

:( :( lazzaroo

This sounds hard, and it sounds as if you are working hard to 'fix' it...and the 'fixing' is as exhausting as anything else. The description of your evenings sounds relentless :(

Sounds like you are demoralised and unable to believe there is a possible solution.

How about sharing the whole situation with someone who is knowledgable about breastfeeding and understanding of the way it can be difficult? You could call any of the bf helplines, and maybe find someone who can visit or support you more intensively over a few weeks...what do you think? There are several ways to make over supply easier to cope with, but you sound overwhelmed and unconvinced about trying them. A call to the helplines would enable you to put a plan in place.

It does not sound to me that switching to formula would help, and this would take a few weeks to do comfortably anyway - it's not a quick solution.

You also need help and support at home - with your other daughter and with any of the other stuff a household needs to keep ticking along.

You yourself are frequently tearful you say.....you need to share this with someone in real life as the early weeks of a baby's life are demanding, but if they are making you unhappy and overwhelmed with it all (not in a good way), then just waiting for things to get better by themselves is not an option, 'cos they could get worse.

If your HV is good, can you talk to her? Really talk to her?

[Iggly]

She might be taking down air hence wanting to feed all the time?

[EauRouge]

Here are some helpline numbers-

La Leche League 0845 120 2918
NCT 0300 330 0771
Breastfeeding Network 0300 100 0210
ABM 0300 330 5453

I hope you get all the support you need.

[lazzaroo]

Thank you all for replying & being supportive. I can't believe how a day can change so much. This afternoon she has slept....finally....and so had a better feed when she woke. Has gone straight back to sleep! It's like a different baby...and I feel like a different mum!

BUT I know that we'll have another day like this & I still need to decide what to do for the best. The problem with talking to hv is that they always visit when things are calm & tell me all my worries are normal, she's gaining weight well so carry on as I'm doing. if they'd come this morning, they might have advised otherwise!

I am battling constantly with what to do. Husband travels away for work (was away last night) & I need to get this resolved. Deep down I don't think I can go on like this. We're all suffering. But it doesn't make me happy.

[nellyjelly]

If she has oral thrush her mouth must be sore, that may be an issue in how she is feeding and latching. A poor latch can lead to wind.

[nellyjelly]

Btw it is still really early days. It will get better. Remember that.

[McBaby]

Also get LO checked for tongue tie. It can cause most of the symptoms if you look at the milk matters website tongue tie symptoms.

[geekette]

oh Lazaroo, i take back what i said. it sounds like you really really don't like bf.

are there any bf groups in your area? maybe being with other bf mums and babies at different stages may help you make a decision?

it does sound like the problems would be the same whatever milk you give her. it might be an idea to find out how to deal with the possetting etc whatever you decide to do.

as another poster said, your lo is still very young...

[Zara1984]

Sounds tough OP!

The advice that's been given here is excellent. Have you spoken to a bf counsellor?

If you do want to switch to formula or combine feed it could take a week or two (or more) and by that point perhaps things might have settled down? Or not, based on your previous experience.

When I switched to formula after 2 weeks of breastfeeding/pumping hell, I did it quite quickly based on advice I got from MNers. Within a week we were fully on formula - once you drop the middle of the night feeds you dry up really fast. I know Kellymom etc advocate a snails pace of switching over but when you're fed up and tired that's not realistic and in RL I've never heard of a baby getting constipated from a quick switch (despite the Internet horror stories). It took 2-3 weeks for DS to settle into a regular 3-4 hour feed pattern. And he was still quite windy a lot until 8 weeks! So it's not a quick fix. But it did put an end to cluster feeding in the early evening almost instantly.

[Zara1984]

Oh and forgot to add: if you're not happy, and want to stop, do it. Don't let the guilt of "oh I should just try a bit longer...." spur you on. Fuck that. My DMIL (a former LLL leader) was staying with us when I was struggling with bf. She said to me that bf shouldn't be that hard, and she would never have bf her kids for a year if it hadn't got easier fairly fast!! In her view the main point of bf is that it's cheap, convenient and safe (no sterilising etc)!

So: get advice! But if it's not working for you, and you're feeling stressed out, do what you have to do to make things work for your family and your head.

[aimingtobeaperfectionist]

You sound like I as when dd was born.
I just want to say- don't panic! 'this too shall pass'
Dd was 8.11 and fed like a monster for the first 6-8 weeks. She would eat and eat, throw up then get back to eating- this contined all evening!
She grew out of it but I suspect she was 1. Using me as comfort and 2. I was over producing milk.

Keep loads I muslins close by, more than you think you will need. Ditto baby wipes.
Burp as often as possible.
Don't try to force the dummy, dd didn't take it till she was about 8 weeks but it was a lifesaver.
Burp baby again.
Try not to freak out, some babies are just like this. A long as nappies are wet and baby is alert when awake then its ok.
There will always be someone on MN to chat to if you're worried.
Burp baby again.

Seriously though, sounds like you're doing a fab job- well done.
When thi bits over it starts getting enjoyable!

[Zara1984]

To be fair aiming, the OP said she bf her first child until 12 months and didn't like it, so perhaps a different solution is needed for her rather than sticking it out and seeing if it's better this time...

[aimingtobeaperfectionist]

I never said she has to stick it out.

[lazzaroo]

Thanks again for taking time to reply. It does help. Another unsettled morning but my other little one is at nursery so I have time to rock, bung her in pushchairs etc etc. I know that I have to at least mix feed this time around. I'm not panicking, have been through this before. I know it will pass eventually but why wait when at the moment I have a pretty uncontent baby, I'm stressed out & my toddler is getting a raw deal. I don't like feeding in front of others, even family. Especially when I feel like my feeding makes her uncomfortable....the exact opposite of how it should be.

There were lots of advantages to 'sticking it out' first time round, no bottle/dummy to wean etc but circumstances are different this time. I do feel guilty about it though.

I just need to make a decision & stick with it!

Thank you for sharing your experiences, it does help.

[TapselteerieO]

I am no expert but you have my sympathy, I really struggled to bf my pfb, and I had huge breasts when bf and was very self conscious (30G when not bfing) - never comfortable bfing in public. The first month was horrendous, dd hardly put any weight on but refused a bottle too. I was dreading the same scenario with my ds, more worried about it than giving birth, but it was so much easier for me 2nd time. I don't know what the right thing to do is, but my sil bf'd her three daughters and she said her dh gave their dc a bedtime bottle of formula, whilst she was catching up on sleep, so she got a break - might not work if your dh is away from home. I don't regret persevering but bf was never a wonderful experience for me - so I can understand why people don't continue! Good luck, hope you can enjoy your baby whatever you decide.